To expect DH to do this for me

[TheMustressMhor]

Every weekend DH cooks breakfast.

And every weekend my fried egg is too hard.

I only like dippy eggs. If he's going to go to the trouble of cooking bacon, black pudding, square sausage, mushrooms, eggs and toast, he could at least get the eggs right.

AIBU to expect him to take more care?

Stop cooking for the selfish cunt! Or burn his dinner. Can’t believe the responses.

Also, what the fuck is a square sausage and how can it be a sausage if it is square?

Nowhere does it say that a sausage has to be round/tubelike/long...

Square sausages are an absolute delight.

I haven't had square sausage for years.

I consider myself quite a good cook but admit I do struggle with the timing of egg frying when doing a cooked breakfast.
If DP were to complain however I would not be inclined to make one for him again.

@Highonpotandused

I think that stopping cooking for him is a step too far.

It isn't as though he does this on purpose to annoy me.

Sometimes, his fried eggs are good.

But usually they are hard.

And that is bad. IMHO.

So like squished sausage meat? Like a McDonalds sausage and egg muffin sausage but square. Interesting. I shall investigate.

If you put it on toast is it the correct size for a perfect sandwich? I'm moving to Scotland if so.

Fuck your unsatisfactory eggs, the sausage thing is much more interesting

The thing is, I don't complain at all.

That would be unkind and rude. I just mention it now and again.

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

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WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

Yes! It's heaven, honestly. And it fits perfectly on bread for an even sandwich. It's also a slightly different consistency to the common sausage and less gristly.

YANBU at all. I thought this was just the kind of thing we do for our loved ones and it’s reasonable to expect the same consideration in return.

It’s in the same vein as asking someone how they like their tea or coffee. It’s not about how I’d like to make it for them but how they’d like to receive it. Same with fried eggs.

I’d say something and maybe suggest he does your eggs at the end as he’s clearly starting them too early and has overestimated how long eggs take to cook.

@TheMustressMhor ahhh, I see one with black pudding in it!

@Deux

He’s clearly starting them too early and has overestimated how long eggs take to cook

I think you're right. That's exactly what's happening.

@DandyAF

We do not have gas cookers (or gas anything) in most of Scotland.

Blimey. You're having a dig at the bloke for not cooking your egg appropriately and bring in the fact that it's only 2 days a week therefore he should care more. If my DH cooks me breakfast I'm chuffed I haven't had to. If he complained the way you are, he would be doing it himself.

We do not have gas cookers (or gas anything) in most of Scotland.

Well he’s definitely not gaslighting the eggs you then.

I feel your pain op.

My ‘d’h used to MICROWAVE my scrambled eggs.

Thought I may have to LTB, but fortunately he was able to see the error of his ways and now cooks them in a frying pan with loads of butter like a proper human fucking being.

I am wondering if LTB might be best.

Only yesterday he bought the wrong number of slabs to make our patio.

And today we had egg-gate yet again.

It's unsatisfactory all round IMO.

@TheMustressMhor this egg business is not ok. Eggs are the central axis of a good breakfast. He needs to pull his finger out (but if he’s also sticking his finger in your egg you’ve got even bigger problems).

@TheMustressMhor well, on the bright side you can always stick him under the patio if he does it again next weekend

@BiscuitBarrels

There may not be a patio to stick him under if he hasn't bought enough slabs.

My dh is the same. It’s not often he cooks it but when he does the egg is always hard. How bloody hard can it be. (no pun intended) Totally spoils the breakfast.

@TheMustressMhor bury him upright then. The hole will have to be deeper, but you can call it a decorative plant pot display area when finished

I agree with you OP. If someone mentioned they like their eggs a certain way I would make the effort to get them right. It's not that difficult, surely.

What you need to do, Mistress is watch him on one occasion and gauge the right time for your egg(s) to go in - maybe after his are almost ready?

Be like the conductor of an orchestra... "Now, dear-heart, the egg goes in NOW!".

I do my own toast as my husband slathers it with butter and I don't like drippy toast. It must be crisp.

He has also learned that the fry-up ingredients are not to be piled up on top of each other like some kind of sloppy Scooby-snack but are to be arranged, nicely. As he cooks only one meal in about a thousand, I feel no shame in directing this special event.

I don't think you're being unreasonable to want him to make eggs the way you like them but you would be unreasonable to moan about it. I think encouragement rather than complaint would be the best approach.