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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to do this for me

284 replies

TheMustressMhor · 01/02/2020 13:01

Every weekend DH cooks breakfast.

And every weekend my fried egg is too hard.

I only like dippy eggs. If he's going to go to the trouble of cooking bacon, black pudding, square sausage, mushrooms, eggs and toast, he could at least get the eggs right.

AIBU to expect him to take more care?

OP posts:
TheMemoryLingers · 01/02/2020 13:14

Our splendid local butcher (whose prices are very reasonable) makes it on site.

Ah, I'm probably misjudging them based on the crappy mass-produced ones it's been my misfortune to encounter.

YANBU about wanting a runny egg. Luckily my husband also likes runny eggs, so never have a problem if he does us a weekend fry up.

Original poster
TheMustressMhor · 01/02/2020 13:14

Ah, DelaneyBlue.

A fellow sufferer.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 01/02/2020 13:14

Ignore them OP

I spend a lot of time cooking. I cook stuff I know DH likes and I cook his portion how he likes it. When he cooks for me he does the same

For example, I've just been handed crumpets. I like mine softer than he does, so he cooks them differently.

It's what you do for the person you share your life with... Learn their preferences....

Insideimsprinting · 01/02/2020 13:14

You've made the effort for him he graciously eats with out complaint adding sauce as he likes it.

Honestly there's nothing worse in a relationship where one of you is very tolerant, accepting and grateful of the others efforts but when you put the effort in the first thing they do is whinge.
He must have the patience and tolerance of a Saint.

WaterSheep · 01/02/2020 13:15

It seems a lot of hassle though.

Perhaps he feels it's a lot of hassle to make you a breakfast each weekend that you'll complain about. Maybe in the future he'll jus decide it's easier to leave out the egg.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 01/02/2020 13:16

If my DH were to complain about this when I cooked him a breakfast every weekend I would start giving him a bowl of Coco pops.

Original poster
TheMustressMhor · 01/02/2020 13:16

He must have the patience and tolerance of a Saint

I wouldn't go that far.

OP posts:
Insideimsprinting · 01/02/2020 13:17

*suppose I could just do the eggs when he's got the rest of the stuff ready.

It seems a lot of hassle though.*

Not if that's how you really like them.

Veterinari · 01/02/2020 13:18

It's not a big ask is it?
Op does he forget? Or doesn't know how?
Can you show him?

FinallyHere · 01/02/2020 13:20

is being kind like this and going to this much effort to Cook you breakfast

He is also doing it because OP cooks fourteen meals a week and he has to cook only two.

It seems a bit hard to do the majority of the cooking and not get eggs how you like 'em. In this situation I'd either ask for a different menu or cook the eggs myself.

Who does the clear up and washing up ?

AriadnesFilament · 01/02/2020 13:20

I’m sorry, but a hard egg is a divorce-level offence

bridgetreilly · 01/02/2020 13:22

Why is it a lot of hassle for you to cook fried eggs but not for him?

CareBear50 · 01/02/2020 13:23

I'm with OP. Egg yolk must be runny!!!

I'd cook my own at the end.

sendinallthesheep · 01/02/2020 13:23

These kinds of threads always make me giggle. People are massively uptight on MN about this sort of thing, OP - apparently one must accept absolutely anything someone else does without even a murmur of complaint. If you don't, you are insufferably ungrateful and must be verbally abused for at least ten pages.

Just mention it gently at another time (not immediately after he's cooked it) or offer to do it yourself. YANBU though, don't listen to the meanies!

TechnicalSergeantGarp · 01/02/2020 13:23

I make my DH breakfast how he likes it. I expect him to do the same.

I much prefer soft eggs to hard and this is a big part of a cooked breakfast. The rest can be a combination of anything.

It's ok to like things how you like them. It's ok to ask and be specific.

I don't like tea the way my other half likes it. I make it extra strong and put sugar in it because he enjoys it more that way. I make him tea even if I'm having coffee because in not an asshole about what he likes to eat and drink. It's a small inconvienience.

DandyAF · 01/02/2020 13:23

Does he fry them on a gas hob, OP?
If so, he’s gaslighting you.

Whynosnowyet · 01/02/2020 13:24

Imo the crux is does he care that you aren't 100 %happy with it?
My dh makes fab poached eggs. Better than mine. He is 'apologetic' if they aren't to my liking!!. Same as I was pd my garlic bread was friggin burnt the other night!!
*my turn to cook!!
If he is 'your egg is crap too bloody bad' yanbu..

Furrydogmum · 01/02/2020 13:24

Not unreasonable, I cook everyone their eggs the way they like them - I can't bear runny eggs so do mine last and for longer.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 01/02/2020 13:25

Fuck me, why can't people discern tone on MN anymore?!

YANBU mistress he is a selfish twat that can't even do the basics for you. I don't mean to worry you but there may be an OW? Have you checked his phone? Get your ducks in a row.

Also, what the fuck is a square sausage and how can it be a sausage if it is square?

bluechameleon · 01/02/2020 13:25

I think people are being unnecessarily harsh on the OP. I do almost all the cooking at ours and there are all sorts of small adjustments I make to try to meet each person's preferences (DH likes his toast and his meat more done than I do, DS1 likes his banana with a holding bit whereas DS2 likes it all way out of the skin etc etc). I do the same for the students in my class at work (X likes his chips dipped in ketchup, Y likes his custard and cake separate, Z won't eat a broken biscuit etc). IMO that's what you do when you care about people, you try to make them happy. I would therefore be upset if DH did not make an effort to meet my preferences when he cooked.

stickerqueen · 01/02/2020 13:26

if you don't like how he does your eggs then make your own.
When we eat eggs hubby makes his own, he won't eat eggs anyone else has cooked and it's always been that way. We have been together 14 years and I've never cooked him an egg.

Absolutepowercorrupts · 01/02/2020 13:27

@TheMustressMhor
I've lurked on other threads and I'm aware of the many and varied meals that you cook for him, also the puddings. You are most definitely not being unreasonable at all.

missnevermind · 01/02/2020 13:28

Soft eggs Envy puke on a plate.

My whole family think I don't eat eggs. I don't cook them for anybody either.
I will eat a fried egg if my dad cooks it. Perfectly every time.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 01/02/2020 13:30

If that was my DH he'd be under the patio by now....

Original poster
TheMustressMhor · 01/02/2020 13:31

What the hell is square sausage

It is a Scottish delicacy. We prefer our sausages flat and without skins.

OP posts: