I'll try to cut this down as I have a tendency to ramble!. I have a good friend whom I met through DD, she is very opinionated and extremely confident in herself and her opinions, she has a tendency to dominate conversations with her opinion and it is difficult to challenge her on these opinions. That said, she is generally lovely and we get on well, I haven't seen much of her in the last 6 months as we dealt with illness and subsequent death of a close relative, she didnt make a huge effort to support me through this as she is always busy, volunteers for every pta activity, local group etc etc so in short, I haven't been as close with her as we were.
She messaged me last night to say that there had been some issues with my DD messaging her DS and that it had got nasty, stated that there were various issues with the class snapchat group and some nastiness (kids are just turned 10). She told me she had her DS phone and had replied to my DD herself. I saw the message on my DD phone this am and it was very to the point, please stop this etc etc and not threatening in any way but I am really angry that she did this rather than message me weeks ago (she says this is how long it's been going on) telling me there was an issue so that we could sort it out before now. I have told her I'm not happy at how it was done and feel as we are friends I would have preferred the chance to deal with this myself. For reference, my DD had asked her DS to be her boyfriend, when he said no, she persisted and then at one point called him a weirdo then said she hated him, nasty and will be dealt with but silly kids stuff really. AIBU in thinking she should have come to me rather than messaging my 10 YO?.
When I challenged her she said, "believe me this is not how Bob (the boys Dad) wanted to deal with this, I found that a bit threatening?. I need perspective!.....