Put a f*cking blanket over your baby

[Noti23]

It’s horrible day- freezing light rain that sticks to your & face ice cold wind.

Nevertheless, am I still seeing 6 month old babies being strolled around in the pram wearing nothing but a coat, jeans and socks. No blanket, no raincover. Meanwhile their parents are dawdling by wearing a nice thick coat, a hat and a pair of gloves.

Are these people stupid or lazy? AIBU?

no more over-simplistic than pretending that telling someone to put the right clothes on their kids is the cause for PND because of "mum shaming".

Good job I said the exact opposite to that, isn't it?

"And while mum shaming didn't cause it, threads like this and the fear of being judged absolutely exacerbated it."

@JosefKeller

I just strongly
Agree with everything you are saying

Pointing out that children out in cold weather need to be dressed appropriately and not left sitting in prams with a summer jacket, no blanket, no hat etc when it's 6 degrees outside, is "mum shaming" now ffs 🙄

Pointing out that children out in cold weather need to be dressed appropriately and not left sitting in prams with a summer jacket, no blanket, no hat etc when it's 6 degrees outside, is "mum shaming" now ffs

Claiming that the OP was merely pointing it out is an unbelievably charitable interpretation of her post. It was hardly a public service announcement.

"Are these people stupid or lazy?"

But it is frustrating to see a tiny child in a buggy looking like a little frozen soul, so I can't blame the OP for feeling sorry for them. Anyone who claims to never have witnessed this is either walking around with their eyes permenantly looking up to the sky, or they are lying just for the sake of an argument, and to tell anyone who agrees with the OP that they are mum shaming.

A lot of people putting words in my mouth here. I didn't say I'd never seen it. I said that not all babies need to be bundled up in a million layers and personally I would err on the side of assuming, the vast majority of the time, that the parent knows how to check whether or not their child is warm enough and wants the best for their child so has dressed them appropriately regardless of how it looks to outsiders.

And yes, accusing mums of being "stupid or lazy" because they haven't put a coat on their child absolutely is mum-shaming and I'm happy to stand up to it because I know from experience that it can be incredibly damaging.

Anyone who claims to never have witnessed this is either walking around with their eyes permenantly looking up to the sky, or they are lying just for the sake of an argument

Genuinely haven't. And I don't think either of the above apply to me. I have seen plenty of kids dressed inappropriately, but they've been overdressed rather than under-dressed.

And yes, accusing mums of being "stupid or lazy" because they haven't put a coat on their child absolutely is mum-shaming and I'm happy to stand up to it because I know from experience that it can be incredibly damaging.

So what is the excuse that's acceptable for having underdressed, frozen children, out in prams and buggies?

So what is the excuse that's acceptable for having underdressed, frozen children, out in prams and buggies?

You can't possibly tell from a glance in the street that a child is "frozen" in a pram. How many times to people have to explain that on this thread.

How often do you hear of children becoming seriously ill because they were out in a coat in double digit temperatures? Bloody never.

You can't possibly tell from a glance in the street that a child is "frozen" in a pram. How many times to people have to explain that on this thread.

Yes you can

How often do you hear of children becoming seriously ill because they were out in a coat in double digit temperatures? Bloody never.

Doesn't make it OK

It's unlikely for a child to "become ill" from the cold. Hypathermia is unlikely unless it's freezing temperatures. Not much else you can get from actual cold weather. Doesn't mean it's OK to have an underdressed child out in the freezing cold. Its just parents not meeting their child's basic needs.

Its just parents not meeting their child's basic needs.

If I thought a child was being dangerously neglected in front of me then I would do something about it then and there. Not just bitch about it on mumsnet after the fact.

If I thought a child could possibly be slightly chilly then I'd wind my neck in and defer to a parent's better knowledge of their own child.

If I thought a child was being dangerously neglected in front of me then I would do something about it then and there. Not just bitch about it on mumsnet after the fact.

Without names, it may be quite hard to take it to official levels. Stopping people in the street to tell them their child is underdressed, would probably just result in a fight in the street and them ignoring you, so really no point.

It's not beyond the realms of possibility that the babies who appear to be under-dressed are the children of idiots. If no idiots ever had children then children wouldn't get sunburnt in the summer either!

I put dd (now nearly 3) in snowsuits with inbuilt feet sections before she could walk. Now my plan is that she wears a puddle suit and wellies in the rain and a snowsuit and snow boots in the very cold.

BUT, I have just last week taken her out in a t-shirt and leggings because she just ripped off any other clothes I put on her but was so over-tired she needed to be taken out for a nap in her pushchair. When she fell asleep, I put her pushchair cosytoes on and wrapped a warm blanket around her top half but for the beginning of that walk she would have looked totally under-dressed, and she was shouting on top of her lungs 😫 I EXPECTED people to judge me to be a stupid parent on that day!

It's not beyond the realms of possibility that the babies who appear to be under-dressed are the children of idiots. If no idiots ever had children then children wouldn't get sunburnt in the summer either!

Whole heartedly agree. I've known professional people who underdress their children. Clearly just lacking common sense. Also know children from poor families who parents are either lacking common sense, or the don't have enough money to replace jackets etc as the children grow, or they just prioritise different things. I won't say what because I will be pounced on 😂. (have a few of these people in my family so have experience)

I had a friend who always underdressed her toddlers. Her and her DH would be bundled up and the toddler would be in a little cardigan. And despite her saying the kiddie was okay, and hated to be hot, her little hands would be icy to the touch.

I always mentioned it but never pressed the point as I didn’t have kids myself in those days and figured they must know what they were doing. But that child (now grown up) was actually hospitalised with pneumonia twice.

Personally I suspect that kids are not very good at knowing if they are cold or not and it does them no good to get cold. I always wrap mine up well.

@JosefKeller your responses are trivial at best and don’t show a very good understanding, clearly.
Whatever the parents were wearing is irrelevant. The child was not distressed, and wearing a coat it’s not sub zero.

Yes a lack of duty of care doesn’t mean you shouldn’t intervene in an emergency but the poster has no information on the child as I keep saying and that is the difference between a professional and a nosey up her own arse member of the public.

When did I say I feel shamed my children aren’t cold and always have a blanket but there are children that won’t allow you to put blankets on them and a glance from a stranger wouldn’t tell the whole story.

Lazy and stupid.
It's one thing when it's a toddler that's old enough to throw off their gloves/hat and protest, but when I see small babies not properly dressed, it's sheer stupidity and laziness

I love that British people want babies in clothes Canadian children would only be in in -30 weather. When there's a light wind and it's 10 degrees. Soft as shite.

Lol. As an Australian, I laughed this past summer when everyone on mumsnet was complaining about 28-30 degree heat and saying how awful it was. Soft as shit.

I’m fucking dressed for the snow at 18 degrees. That’s bloody freezing. Get your head out of your ass. Not everyone grew up in England.

Totally agree with OP.

Where I live, you regularly see dads with a baby carrier and a baby with no socks on. I saw this last week at a Farmer's Market so it will be all year round. You'll see their little feet all mottled. You also see older children in the park at this time of year in shorts and a tshirt because they get to choose what to wear.

I've spoken to a midwife about this who used to be in the surgery I worked in and she said she has it all the time in homes as well. A lot of these older homes with high ceilings are absolutely freezing and parents will underestimate how well a newborn can cope with that.

Ahhhh I sometimes think the same and used to worry what people thought when they would see my sock-less baby.

But 16 years later Dd with asd will still not tolerate her ankles being covered EVER, as a baby she would throw her socks and poke her feet out of blanket, cosytoes.

Could be snowing out and DD16 will still have the bottom of her leggings Rolled up to make sure that inch of ankle is catching the breeze

I know people who will wear hats on the spring and thick cardigans in the summer because they feel the cold more than others. Maybe she's like that? You just won't know unless you say something and believe me, saying something is not a good idea.