Put a f*cking blanket over your baby

[Noti23]

It’s horrible day- freezing light rain that sticks to your & face ice cold wind.

Nevertheless, am I still seeing 6 month old babies being strolled around in the pram wearing nothing but a coat, jeans and socks. No blanket, no raincover. Meanwhile their parents are dawdling by wearing a nice thick coat, a hat and a pair of gloves.

Are these people stupid or lazy? AIBU?

grumpyhoonmain I almost can't believe you posted such utter bollocks with a straight face. There's an association between nasal congestion and SIDS but they don't know why. They also don't know why sleeping in the same room lowers the SIDS rate - there's theories that it could be to do with your breathing helping the baby regulate theirs but they don't know for sure and it's nothing to do with being able to intervene more easily. And being cold doesn't not cause colds. If you got so cold you got hypothermia then your immune system would be compromised which would make you more likely to develop a cold if you were exposed to the virus. But that's not the same thing.

Every single piece of advice from the Lullaby Trust emphasises that it's far more dangerous from a SIDS perspective for a baby to be too hot (including from overdressing) than too cold. Even when they're ill. They specifically say that an unwell baby needs less layers, not more. Misinformation about SIDS is dangerous. Don't spread it.

Reference: httpswww.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/baby-room-temperature/

Oh dear you would have hated my kids, who when little loved to be outside in nappies only in the snow and screamed murder when warm by a fire or wrapped up, and to this day regardless of the weather they are out in tshirts and shorts (7 & 9 now). Some kids just rock the cold :D

Lullaby trust recommend that temperature because overheating can cause SIDS. You’re also not supposed to place their cot anywhere near a radiator.

I think my DS likes being cold if I’m being totally honest. He hates gro-bags as well and likes to kick his blanket off. I always put it back over him but he continuously kicks it off. Screams if I put him in a gro-bag. Also, if I put a hat on him that he struggles to get off he starts screaming because he can’t pull it off . Socks wise, some babies genuinely don’t keep them on and my DS is one of them but I do try to put tights on him now instead (he yanks at the feet of the tights though and gets really annoyed that he can’t pull them off 😬).

I’m actually scared to take my child out now incase I have the misfortune to bump into any of the horrible, judgy, nasty perfect parents on here. For a trip to the supermarket they will have a jacket or cardigan on over their day to day clothes, hat and of course a blanket tucked into car seat. For a walk in the pram, hat, bodysuit and a cosy pram suit. Judge away...

Oh and before anyone says, it’s a car seat friendly jacket I believe someone linked to further up thread and of course there is a blanket in the pram should it be needed.

Oh and no, they don’t wear gloves but either scratch mitts on body suit are used or the sleeves on whatever pram suit are very long so hands cosily contained in sleeves.

DS2 was a devil for never wanting to be warm or wrapped up; he doesn't feel the cold anywhere near as much as DS1 and I do. I'm certain it's a biological thing because even now he's 9 he'll happily wear shorts to school every day and come running out without his coat unless his Teacher forces him to put it on.

Excessive judginess on here today. YABU.

I think some posters on this thread are being deliberately obtuse. Why take so much offence when no one here has said you are one of these people that underdess your child in cold weather?

Because we know our children and how warm/light to dress them depending on the weather? But total strangers don’t know our children so feel the need to judge because they think they know best? I acknowledge that sometimes it can be down to poor parenting, but when you post about such a thing on a parenting forum with a ‘one size fits all’ approach that really doesn’t fit all, people tend to react

Because we know our children and how warm/light to dress them depending on the weather?

but the point is that children should more or less match the parent, taking into account the fact that one is moving and warming up that way, whilst the little one is still.

It's even worst when parents go "trecking" and have to be physically stopped and told to wrap up their children because it IS too cold for them.

No one has said that directly to anyone on this thread though. No one on here knows you personally, most of the replies will be based on witnessing poor parenting, not children who just don't like keeping a hat on.
Also, children Don't know what is best for them. They would happily run out onto roads, eat play dough, do all sorts that would put them at risk, do we allow them?
Babies don't show the same signs of being cold as older children and adults. They don't shiver until they are around 6 months.

Because we know our children and how warm/light to dress them depending on the weather?

Actually so many people don't have a clue. I work with children and there are so many children sent without jackets or warm clothing in the winter. Coming in with jumpers while parents have puffer jackets and hats on. Little girls coming in with summer dresses and bare legs when it's 5 degrees outside. These are parents who have professional jobs, they just seem to lack common sense when it comes to dressing their children.

It’s 2020 and mum shaming is still happening nobody is a perfect parent. I’m sure you’ve done some questionable things too, maybe just not been pulled up on it! This is part of the reason so many women suffer post natal depression. If it was that bad you would’ve said something stop pretending it was serious when it patently wasn’t!

This is part of the reason so many women suffer post natal depression.

not really, the abysmal lack of professional care and support has a lot more to do with it

There's something very wrong when schools have to repeatedly ask parents to send their kids in appropriate clothing and someone calls it "mum shaming".

There's something very wrong when schools have to repeatedly ask parents to send their kids in appropriate clothing and someone calls it "mum shaming".

Can you not see the difference in the amount of information a school has about a child who is in their care all day, and a passing glance from a stranger in the street?

but the point is that children should more or less match the parent, taking into account the fact that one is moving and warming up that way, whilst the little one is still.

When my parents go out together my mum is often in a coat and scarf while my dad is in a T-shirt. They have wildly different internal thermometers. When they take my toddler son out, which one of them should he match?

@JosefKeller please show me where the op stated she’s a childcare professional with an array of information on said child? Your example is completely irrelevant. Mum shaming is where a mum makes a comment in order to shame another or validate themselves which is exactly what went on here. Schools, nurseries... have a duty of care to a child and it wouldn’t be referred to as mum shaming as ss are there for support. If this child was in danger it would’ve flagged up via the gp, health visitor or nursery it obviously has not because there’s nothing to report. Mind your own business

"Hot Babies Die, Cold Babies Cry" - Overheating is more dangerous than being cold, especially regarding SIDS.

BUT of course being too cold can be dangerous, we're talking about freezing though and it takes a lot for it to be actually dangerous.

I agree regarding that children should be dressed appropriately, and it does look wrong seeing parents wrapped up but the child isn't. BUT I try not to judge as I don't know the situation and it's none of my business unless I think the child is ridiculously underdressed and must be freezing.

Saying that, I didn't like the tone of the post and rather than appear of being concerned for the child it just felt like a bit of a shaming post, especially towards the end. A lot of people are also picking this up. There's just too much parent shaming about.

My 6mo old won't go in the bassinet in the pram as he doesn't want to lie down, screams the whole time, and is still a little bit too small for the pushchair bit, he just slides down. This mainly means I go everywhere with him in the sling and a pram suit, but for some things I have to use the car seat on the pram and he doesn't fit in it wearing anything more than a jumper and a lightweight jacket, he always has a hat, socks and a big blanket over him too but I still feel like people will clock my massive coat and his lack of.

IJustCantDeal
the OP stated that parents are wearing warm coats, hat and gloves.

You don't need to a be a professional to have a little bit of common sense

Schools, nurseries... have a duty of care to a child and it wouldn’t be referred to as mum shaming as ss are there for support.
just because you don't have a duty of care doesn't mean you can't notice that children are inappropriately dressed for the weather .

If you feel shamed because you don't put your child in weather appropriate clothes, it's on you.

not really, the abysmal lack of professional care and support has a lot more to do with it

I had fantastic professional care and support. Still got PND and psychosis. And while mum shaming didn't cause it, threads like this and the fear of being judged absolutely exacerbated it. And that's why they make me so angry. There's mums out there who dress their babies perfectly appropriately because they - like the vast majority of mums - have read the guidance and want to do the best for their children. But they're reading this and panicking because they don't use an all in one snow suit, or because their baby is sick when she's too bundled up so they avoid it, or their baby once had a febrile convulsion and now they're so terrified of it happening again they err on the side of caution, etc etc, and this post is confirming their worst fears which is that everyone else is judging them and finding them wanting. New mums need compassion and support, not judgement. Threads like this are absolutely vile.

If you feel shamed because you don't put your child in weather appropriate clothes, it's on you
Nobody is saying that they don't. They're saying that what counts as weather-appropriate clothing for their individual child might not be the same as it is for your child.

I had fantastic professional care and support.
good for you. Many women end up on overcrowded communal wards with not enough staff, are sent home exhausted and bleeding after a few hours , and get no help, advice or support after.

They're saying that what counts as weather-appropriate clothing for their individual child might not be the same as it is for your child.
indeed, but the same way you would need some layers if you were sitting on a bench in the winter for 1 hour, your child needs more than you are wearing.

I give you a clue: babies born in the summer or in warmer countries don't die more often than babies left too cold in grim England....

I'm well aware that many women receive poor ante and post natal care, thank you, and also very well aware of the many contributing factors to PND. I was simply saying that your original point about the causes of PND was over-simplistic.

your child needs more than you are wearing

Not if that leaves them overheated and sweating. The one extra layer thing is a good starting point but far more important is checking your child's actual temperature and dressing them accordingly.