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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s rude to take one look at the dinner I have cooked then get lots of condiments for it.

561 replies

Wasail · 29/01/2020 22:32

I spend time preparing a meal that is tasty and balanced, H takes one look at it, doesn’t taste it or anything, just gets his collection of condiments from the fridge and smothers his dinner.
We are talking things like truffle mayo ( he is a bit wanky with his condiment collection) so things that will fundamentally change the flavour of the meal. And no, I didn’t make fish and chips. ketchup or mayo, not both, would be acceptable in that case.
I think it’s unbelievably rude of him, he thinks it’s perfectly fine.

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 30/01/2020 12:34

you’ve spent ages, maybe hours, trying to make a nice meal for someone, trying to get the taste just right, and they don’t even try it before they drown it in store bought sauces.... you don’t see a problem with that?

No not at all, why should I? Its only sauce, and I would never dream of trying to dictate to my DH what he can and can't put on his meal, once it's cooked its for him to eat. We're at home, it's not a Michelin starred restaurant either so people saying chefs would crack up isn't relevant in the slightest. Why would I care just because I cooked it, don't get why some people here are so hung up on it.... its not an insult to my cooking at all, he just wants sauce on his dinner!

And as for the poster "not letting" people put tomato sauce on their roast, that's crazy and controlling.

Everanewbie · 30/01/2020 12:38

MaryMcCarthy I didn't mean that she should be offended, just trying to explain that some people who take cooking seriously are proud of their creations. Obviously here we are talking about a bloke and his tea.

Not grounds for divorce and as ever communication is important, but if OP sees themself as an accomplished chef I can see why she would be offended.

Someone who enjoys a pint of fosters is no better or worse than someone who is an expert wine critic, they just appreciate different things.

The problem here is that OP feels she has presented a refined single malt whisky, and her husband has chucked in half a pint of coke and 5 ince cubes in it. Yes, Jack Daniels is often consumed like that, but a whisky connoisseur would be appalled if you did that to a quality whisky.

Rightly or wrongly the OP feels her efforts have gone to waste, and DH should at least acknowledge that before flomping dollops of goodness knows what all over her hard work.

KrisAkabusi · 30/01/2020 12:45

Have you made the fish roulade for him before? Maybe he knows from experience that it needs flavouring?

Fochit · 30/01/2020 12:53

Having posted up thread I now realise I am also a member of the condiment police.

Not only would I not allow tomato ketchup with a roast, I don’t even allow it in the house!

PatellarTendonitis · 30/01/2020 12:58

Food police are tedious.

Fish roulade and cheese sounds utterly vom, tbh. Maybe he adds condiments just to choke it down.

LaurieMarlow · 30/01/2020 13:04

The problem here is that OP feels she has presented a refined single malt whisky, and her husband has chucked in half a pint of coke and 5 ince cubes in it.

She might feel that, but her husband has a different view.

What if her meal is actually the equivalent of cheap supermarket whiskey, not the good stuff?

Or what if it is a quality product but the husband hates the taste of whiskey full stop?

diddl · 30/01/2020 13:05

What fish was it & what was in it?

Plain fish I can understand wanting something with.

Did he add nothing to the cheese sauce?

That can be bland sometimes.

LaurieMarlow · 30/01/2020 13:12

Fish and cheese sauce feels quite dated to me. I haven’t seen that kind of cookery for a long time.

moochew · 30/01/2020 13:17

I think it's rude to season or add sauces etc to food before tasting. YANBU. Once you've tasted it - add what you like. dh will add salt without thinking and then he'll say - this is pretty salty - so shit - stop whinging and taste it before you season.

Original poster
Wasail · 30/01/2020 13:20

Everanewbie thanks, that is exactly how I feel about it.

He is not overweight and not sleeping with another woman as far as I can tell. He is however 65 so I will bear in mind his ageing tastebuds in the future and serve more hot curry.

I didn’t know the little know fact about truffle oil, thank you for that one. I don’t like it in mayo or on crisps, he loves both together.

OP posts:
MissDew · 30/01/2020 13:27

Fish and cheese sauce feels quite dated to me. I haven’t seen that kind of cookery for a long time.

Thank you for your contribution !

Lovethissweater · 30/01/2020 13:28

Op I know I'm late to this but I think yabvu.

I cannot understand people who get upset over condiments. It's not 'rude' to eat your food the way you like it.

It has nothing to do with the original dish, some people just really love condiments. I'd be bloody furious if someone tried to police my food. I know what a roast dinner tastes like, I also know that I love sauce with it.

Everanewbie · 30/01/2020 13:34

LaurieMarlow he may feel its crap, but maybe some acknowledgement of her effort wouldn't go amiss. And that she's maybe got good taste and accept he's unrefined in comparison. Even if its not true, at least OP has her efforts recognised.

If he doesn't like her fish roulade he could explain that he is grateful for her efforts, but he doesn't really like the XYZ and prefers it with the left field condiment, even if its rather unconventional.

And PatellarTendonitis, why do you have to be so mean?

GlummyMcGlummerson · 30/01/2020 13:35

I have seen some mental claims of what is "rude" before but enjoying condiments really takes the ketchup 🤣

Lovethissweater · 30/01/2020 13:38

I have seen some mental claims of what is "rude" before but enjoying condiments really takes the ketchup 🤣

Doesn't it just!

LaurieMarlow · 30/01/2020 13:38

he may feel its crap, but maybe some acknowledgement of her effort wouldn't go amiss

He finished his dinner, presumably with good grace. I think people can get very precious on here.

And that she's maybe got good taste and accept he's unrefined in comparison

Or maybe she’s got bland, dated taste and he’s just trying to work with it?

There isn’t necessarily a ‘right’ way with food, but I think we’d do well to acknowledge that people have different preferences when it comes to type and strength of flavour.

IScreamForIceCreams · 30/01/2020 13:39

Meh, at least he's eating it.

PixieDustt · 30/01/2020 13:41

Definitely being entitled.
People can eat it the way they want and maybe he doesn't like your cooking? Who cares!

HomeMadeMadness · 30/01/2020 13:41

Well you obviously have different tastes in food. Fish and cheese sauce can be nice in a simple way but he prefers something with more of a punch. Presumably he knows your cooking and his tastes well enough now to know he'll like a bit of sauce with it. It would be rude to bring his condiments to a dinner party but surely as husband and wife your comfortable enough around each other to just relax and have dinner how you each like it.

mbosnz · 30/01/2020 13:45

Next time, just cook him a bowl of unsalted pasta, and hand that to him with the condiments. He can go hard. Or boiled rice. . . Or unsalted potatoes, and unseasoned mince. . .

GlummyMcGlummerson · 30/01/2020 13:46

Does anyone remember the thread about a disgruntled OP whose DH told her that her fish pies were crap and she should make them like his mum did - by putting fish in a dish, topped with packet cheese sauce, Smash and, wait for it....cheese and onion crisps smashed up and sprinkled on top of it all 🤢😂

DimplesMcGee · 30/01/2020 13:48

Fish and cheese sauce feels quite dated to me. I haven’t seen that kind of cookery for a long time.

Wow, really? That's what you want to post? Is that meant to add anything at all to the discussion, or just make the OP feel shitty?

Personally I wouldn't be keen on it, and maybe the OP's husband isn't either, but I doubt it's because he thinks it's "dated". I know there are fashions in food as well as clothing, but what kind of sheeple actually stops cooking/eating something they like because it's now "dated"?

mbosnz · 30/01/2020 13:55

Now I've got a hankering for fish with a lemon parsley sauce. Bugger. With baby new potatoes, baby carrots, beans and asparagus. .. .

cologne4711 · 30/01/2020 14:14

I do think it's a bit strange that people smother their dinner in salt without tasting it first.

But on the other hand you watch something like Masterchef and they say "oh it needed a bit more seasoning". Well can't you put your own salt on if you want a bit more?

cologne4711 · 30/01/2020 14:16

I know there are fashions in food as well as clothing, but what kind of sheeple actually stops cooking/eating something they like because it's now "dated

Agree . No such thing as "dated" food. You either like it or you don't. Yes you get trends in food but it's all ultimately a matter of taste and what you like eating.