To keep my married name after divorce?

[Lifeonmars77]

Truth be known I just can't be arsed with the hassle of changing it back everywhere at the moment, explaining to the DC why mummy has changed her name etc. Plus my maiden name is two more syllables and has to be spelt out EVERY time, whereas my married name is a lot simpler and shorter. It's been a very messy breakup from a controlling narcissistic bully and my keeping his family name would infuriate him and his toxic witch of a mother (not that that would be the main reason as I'm not quite that petty )

I'd probably consider changing it one day when I can be arsed and when the children are older but at the moment my family think I'm nuts... they way they are carrying on, you'd think I was changing it to Hitler, Trump or Weinstein!

I kept my married name until I got remarried about 12 years after my divorce. I didn't particularly want to but it was much easier when the kids were little and the amount of admin needed to change it was huge. I'd just like to add, DH's ex has kept his name and (in a small way) it IS annoying! Lol

I think people kept the name so they aren’t making a statement when they are divorced. Just look at the number of women changing their names when marrying, and not changing back when divorced. You know it’s not about how hard it is. It wasn’t hard first time round when you got married isn’t it?

It’s just a sad indictment of our society’s prejudice against unmarried or divorced women. It is as if there is something wrong with not being a Mrs.

My mum always kept my dads name even though him and his family were absolutely awful to her. But I understand why she wanted the same name as me and my brother.

So, no I do not think YABU.

I do know a woman who kept her husbands name though when they didn't have kids. He's since gone on to re marry and have children and I always find it bizarre that she has the same name as them all.

There is nothing hard about having a different name from your children either. Plenty of mothers are not married and have children with a different name. And god forbid their mothers remarried and then take on a new name. It’s total BS reason to say you want the same name as your children. Unless you can say you will have 1) your children have the same name as you if you and the father are not married and 2) if you are married and divorced, you will not change your name again if marrying again.

It's up to you, many do so they can have the same name as their kids.
I always think mrs married name, after divorce must piss the next woman right off
If I divorced the name would go too, I wouldn't want to keep someone else's name when I'd divorced them.

Call yourself whatever you want. No more a necessity to change your name on divorce than it is to change your name on marriage.

I think people kept the name so they aren’t making a statement when they are divorced.

Yeah, that's absolutely it. It's obviously none of the reasons people have given. You clearly know better than them 🙄

if you are married and divorced, you will not change your name again if marrying again.

I wouldn't change it again.

I really don't get why anyone would want to keep the name of the person they grew to dislike if not hate when that name defines you.

As for doing so just out of spite, that's quite sad.

@SoupDragon well they say it’s hard to change their name. It’s not hard when they got married is it? It does not make sense at all. If it’s hard, most women will stay with their birth name as it would have been the easiest option. Ie the option of do nothing.

You can call yourself whatever you like. I did vote the OP to keep using her exH name as that’s what she likes.

My mum kept hers. She’s not spoken to the man for 32 years but she kept it so she had the same name as me.

they say it’s hard to change their name.

Well, its certainly a pain to track down all the places you need to change it. It's a matter of balancing what you want (the name change) with the work required.

The only thing that doesn't make sense is why you think you know better than them.

My mum has kept her married name even now, almost 20 years after divorce. Only because she wanted to keep the same name as her children.

Nobody really found it odd or cared.

I didn’t change my name back after divorce. I’m not in contact with my dad so had no desire to go back to using his name. It also made travelling abroad with the kids a lot easier. Teachers at school/GP receptionists will still call you Mrs kids surname whatever you do.
I’m due to get married next year so will finally change it!

Ive been divorced from my ex over 12 yrs and still have my married name. Couldnt be arsed to change it back to my maiden name.

I only changed mine after I had DCs, because I wanted to have the same name as them. I was really bothered about being Mrs x. Now I'm stuck with it. I don't see it as 'his name'. I call myself Ms though.

I might go back to my maiden name once the DCs are adults but by then I'll have been mrs X more than I've been Miss Y.

YANBU. I kept my married name because you can make a good anagram out of it.

My maiden name was crap for anagrams, even if you included my middle name.

And if I'd reverted to my maiden name, DP and I would have 2 of the most common surnames in the UK!

*not bothered about being Mrs X. I love my maiden name.

You'd be bonkers to change your name and not have the same name as your DC, it can cause problems travelling abroad, depending on which country you visit. Tell him to jog on, nobody owns a name, and this has been your name for a long time.

Another reason against women having the burden (and cost) of changing their name on marriage. Often a PITA

I really don't get this keeping same name as children. Unless their dad disappear out of their lives, most kids don't care. I don't have my mum's surname, and it's never bothered me one bit. My kids don't have my name either and again, it's never caused any issues for me or them.

And what happens if you remarry? You keep your divorced name, or the kids have to take on new husband's name?

I kept mine. Same as the DC, everything is in my married name, pisses XH off .. and l do actually like it. I also don't regret marrying him, it just didn't work out and he met OW

I always think mrs married name, after divorce must piss the next woman right off

There will be far worse things for my ex's next wife to worry about than me still using his name!

I'm keeping mine at the moment - I think it would really upset my youngest if we didn't have the same name.