To still share a book with my y7 son

[nyorksdad]

Happy to be told aibu but thought I would canvas opinions.

My 12 year old son (from a previous relationship) has always loved reading (like me).

Ever since he was little, we've had a tradition of reading a few pages from a book each night together in his room before he goes to sleep. Either he reads or I do. This has progressed over his life from baby books through Thomas the Tank engine! and onto teenage thrillers, sci-fi and comedy now. We must have been through hundreds but he still wants to do it.

I enjoy doing it, it's a bit of quality time together when he's not glued to a gadget, he's actually paying attention to me, I don't have to fob him off because of work and we like to discuss the book together. I don't see it as any different to listening to an Audible or going to a book club! Obviously he does read by himself during the day as well.

My girlfriend however, thinks it's ridiculous at his age and I should pack it in and just send him to bed to read his book on his own and I'm not helping him grow up. Apparantly all her friends agree so just thought I would ask what people thought.

I think it's lovely and can't see how this would stop him 'growing up' in any way. Don't stop!

She’s being a bitch! Jealous maybe that you’re so close and have a lovely relationship by the sound of it? If you were sitting holding his hand while he fell asleep she might have a point, but sharing a few pages of a book together is lovely and has nothing to do with “growing up”.

I think it's a lovely way to spend quality time together. I hope my son still wants to read with me when he's 12!

I think that's lovely 😍

Sounds lovely tbh

Bin the girlfriend 😂😂

Bedtime stories are such a bonding experience, I still have fond memories of my dad reading to me. It's lovely your son still wants that connection with you and your gf sounds jealous tbh.

Also why on earth is she discussing this with “all her friends”. Do you think she’s been bad mouthing you? It seems a strange thing to want to tell her friends.

I think it's a great thing to do and lovely that he still wants to.
Don't stop doing something you've always done and lose this connection you have with him because your girlfriend doesn't like it. She needs to butt out and mind her own business.
I don't think she should be talking about it with her friends either. That's mean.

I read Harry Potter to my dcs when the eldest was 13. He didn’t want to read it himself and I’d never read it. It was lovely and he really enjoyed it.
He still comes and listens when I read to the youngest sometimes.

Carry on while you're both enjoying it.

You have a GF problem, sounds lovely I wish I still read to DS. Keep going.

It’s lovely, please don’t stop. Your girlfriend does sound a bit jealous though, so maybe something to keep an eye on.

He’s definitely not too old, you both enjoy and gain something from it, so why would you stop? It would probably make your son think your girlfriend is trying to drive a wedge between the two of you.

Keep reading and tell your girlfriend and her mates to get stuffed.

Honestly how can some precious time bonding and sharing with your child, something you both enjoy, be something you should be made to give up?!

Are you sure it’s not her you need to give up?

I remember my mum used to read to my sister before bed and she was 15! It’s a nice way of sharing a book.

I love reading to my kids and although my eldest reads her own books, we still enjoy sharing a book together.

I genuinely can’t see anything wrong with it. It’s no different to enjoying watching a box set together.

I’m an English teacher and would be delighted if any of pupils shared books with their parents, regardless of age.

I think it's lovely and definitely don't stop!

I still read (separately) to my 10 and 13 year olds every night.

1. They enjoy it
2. It helps get them relaxed ready for sleep
3. It is about more than just reading the words, we also talk about the story, the characters, inference, prediction. They both have a great vocabulary but still often come across words they need to understand/ deepen their understanding of.

IMO adults tend to stop reading with their children far too soon, mistakenly thinking that sharing a book is only for those who can't read. You can be certain that your child's English teacher will be delighted that you are still reading together.

Its lovely. Dont stop it. Your son will decide at some point to stop so enjoy it while you can. Sounds like shes jealous of the closeness you have

My children are older than that and we still enjoy a story together at bed - all 5 of us!
Do what you enjoy doing. Reading is not harmful!

I'm not sure I'd be at all happy if my partner was discussing with all their friends how my (still very young) son "needed to grow up". Especially about something so harmless as reading a book. She sounds pretty unpleasant tbh

Thank you everyone for the replies :) That's very reassuring.

That's not the sort of decision that needs to be made by a committee (either online or your girlfriend's mates). You're happy doing it, your son is happy doing it, so what's not to like? Does your girlfriend feel ignored and excluded? I'd discuss that with her, but not stop the reading.

Its good to continue reading every night.

It’s quality time for you and your son, do not give it up!

And I have to say I agree you have a gf problem, no one should make you feel bad about spending quality time with your children.

I still do this with my Y8 son and it’s very valuable. But I can well imagine that many people would have that dismissive attitude, sadly.....

I used to sit and read with my daughter till she was 12, I really missed it when it came to a natural end.

I read with my yr 6 son and I can’t see it stopping. It is the moment that stills all the stresses of the day. Although we have shared some really wonderful books it is also about dedicating a little bit of time purely to him. Each of our children get 30mins. Maybe your girlfriend is a little envious of this.