To still share a book with my y7 son

[nyorksdad]

Happy to be told aibu but thought I would canvas opinions.

My 12 year old son (from a previous relationship) has always loved reading (like me).

Ever since he was little, we've had a tradition of reading a few pages from a book each night together in his room before he goes to sleep. Either he reads or I do. This has progressed over his life from baby books through Thomas the Tank engine! and onto teenage thrillers, sci-fi and comedy now. We must have been through hundreds but he still wants to do it.

I enjoy doing it, it's a bit of quality time together when he's not glued to a gadget, he's actually paying attention to me, I don't have to fob him off because of work and we like to discuss the book together. I don't see it as any different to listening to an Audible or going to a book club! Obviously he does read by himself during the day as well.

My girlfriend however, thinks it's ridiculous at his age and I should pack it in and just send him to bed to read his book on his own and I'm not helping him grow up. Apparantly all her friends agree so just thought I would ask what people thought.

Mine are y6 and y4 and I read to them about 2 a week and DH does about the same. I agree its a lovely quiet time and why would you stop? (But I come from a long line of being read to. My mother read to me well into secondary - again, not every night but I remember it especially on holidays. And we always listened to books on tape on holiday so maybe its part of our DNA)

I'm 36 and I still share a book with my dad from time to time. Not in the same way - it has evolved to become reading the same book at roughly the same time and texting 'oooh chapter 2! WTF?!!!' type things. However, as a young teenager we'd read in the way you've described. As I became an older teenager, we'd sometimes take turns reading on our own then talking about the book. You and your child have a shared love of reading and a lovely bond. Cherish and enjoy it. Remind your gf that it isn't any different to watching a football match together.

Sounds great to me. I had a flatmate in my 20s. We both loved to read aloud so read each other Harry Potter when it first came out.

Schools recommend this. Our local secondary school are encouraging tutors to read to the pupils in their tutor group when they have tutor time.

Carry on reading.

I read to my 11-yr-old DS every night. Don't let your gf make you feel bad about it.

Sounds like a great tradition op. Wow 100% yanbu, think that must be a first!

Your girlfriend sounds unpleasant. Why is she criticising your parenting to her friends? Is she jealous?

Every single night me and my 8yo read together (seperate books but we both get in the big bed and read for half an hour together) I will continue to do this until he’s flipping 20 if I can 😂 we both look forward to it so much and it’s just nice to be totally chill and share funny little stories from our books together!
If oh came up and said it’s stupid we’d both tell him to piss off tbh, but I think he thinks it’s cute so it’s okay 😅

My DS is 8 and I read to him nearly every night and he shows no signs of wanting to stop at all. I’m happy to do it for as long as he wants - with 2DC and a busy life they don’t get much one to one time and reading is such a lovely way to get it. He also appreciates my “voices” which nobody else does so I like that!

I do this with my 12 year old son. Brilliant time for both of us and a great chance to introduce him to some of my favourite books, or discover new ones together.

I read to my Y7 11 year old! Not every night but a few nights a week. My parents read to me until I was about 12 too, & my brothers the same. It’s a wonderful thing to share.

I still read to my year 9 DS, I'll continue until he doesn't want to anymore. He'd be horrified right now if I suggested we stopped!

I really hope my ds and I still do this when he's 12! He's nearly 9 and we do the same every night, it's my favorite part of the day tbh.

I think it's very sad that your gf is trying to stop it. Please don't listen to her!

Of course YANBU. I don't read to either of mine now (9 and 13), although I do keep meaning to with the 9 year old. However both DH and I often read the same books as the DC and all discuss them, which they enjoy.

What a lovely thing to do and so valuable to your ds..please dont listen to your gf..sounds like she is a bit jealous and has no right to be discussing it with her friends..i love reading but my oldest children never really enjoyed it..i have high hopes for youngest and really hope i can experience this with him...

My DD is in Year 7 and I do the same. I really enjoy it. She still reads to me (reading aloud is still very important) and I read to her.

Your GF sounds a right bitch

Is your girlfriend always such a bitch?

You’re doing a great thing, reading is a pleasure, in whatever form it takes.

It's a great thing to do and a good way for children to be exposed to literature they maybe wouldn't pick up themselves or just to share something you both enjoy. My daughter knows I will keep reading to her until she tells me to stop.

There's a lovely memoir called The Reading Promise about a girl who made a pact with her father that they would read together every day until she left home for university. He even read to her over the phone when she was away from home.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/feb/09/why-i-read-aloud-to-my-teenagers

Is she usually jealous of your child?

Her friends are idiots. Your girlfriend also seems like an idiot.

I've worked in schools for 30+ years and the children who read with parents are standout overachievers. There's a massive correlation. Not only is there an academic benefit but it's such a precious time for parents and their children.

FWIW, I read to my 78 y/o mother last week. Small payback which meant a lot to both of us.

Thanks Sleeven, that link is really good

Magical Thinking - just looked at that memoir on Amazon - it sounds lovely!

I'll be staying reading to him for as long as he wants me to. It's usually me that falls asleep first if it's been a long day!

Not unreasonable at all. It's a lovely way to spend time together. Make the most of it. I used to read with mine every night but was eventually told that they didn't want me to do it anymore.

It's lovely, please don't let anyone tell you to stop doing it. Its great that he still wants to do it with you. Tell your girlfriend that it has nothing to do with growing up and everything to do with spending quality time with your son and she should just accept that.