To still share a book with my y7 son

[nyorksdad]

Happy to be told aibu but thought I would canvas opinions.

My 12 year old son (from a previous relationship) has always loved reading (like me).

Ever since he was little, we've had a tradition of reading a few pages from a book each night together in his room before he goes to sleep. Either he reads or I do. This has progressed over his life from baby books through Thomas the Tank engine! and onto teenage thrillers, sci-fi and comedy now. We must have been through hundreds but he still wants to do it.

I enjoy doing it, it's a bit of quality time together when he's not glued to a gadget, he's actually paying attention to me, I don't have to fob him off because of work and we like to discuss the book together. I don't see it as any different to listening to an Audible or going to a book club! Obviously he does read by himself during the day as well.

My girlfriend however, thinks it's ridiculous at his age and I should pack it in and just send him to bed to read his book on his own and I'm not helping him grow up. Apparantly all her friends agree so just thought I would ask what people thought.

How lovely. I still do with mine who is older than yours. Long may it continue!

Ds2 gave up bedtime reading when he was about 13, DS1 carried on till about 17.

but he still wants to do it

I didn't need to read beyond this bit. You enjoy it, he enjoys it. It's nobody else's business!

prior to TV & radio one person would read while other did hobbies (or work) -actually listening to stories on the radio or watching the theatre or cinema is a group/social experience & much more fun (I think gf hasn't a clue) why do people have book clubs??

I love reading to my son and hope to do it for a long time to come.
FWIW my mum and I took it in turns reading the Harry Potter books in the evening and I think I was in my late teens when the last one came out, because we started when the first came out and just carried on through the whole series.

I do this with my 8 year old. I love it.

Thank you everyone :)

@nyorksdad your girlfriend doesn't seem very supportive of your relationship with your child... "all her friends agree with her"? So what, you are the parent, not her, nor her friends!

Keep doing what you're doing!

It’s also an opportunity when you are both relaxed for him to raise any queries or problems he has in daily life.

Communication is key in raising children why would you shut this time down.

Keep on reading.

I read to my son any evening that we get a chance. He's 10 and I don't see us stopping anytime soon. We love it for the same reasons you and your son do.

This year in school, his teacher remarked how well he reads out loud to the class, with nice pacing and energy. I think that all that time reading together out loud has a part to play in that.

If you want to make it a "growing" activity for him as he gets older, you can sometimes pass the book to him so he can practice reading to you. But even if you do all the reading, you are contributing to a love for books, while spending very precious time together.

I think it is lovely, he'll tell you when he thinks he is too old for it. My 11 year old has recently stopped letting me read to her and I really miss it, we now curl up on the sofa next to each other and read to ourselves and discuss the books like a book club, which is lovely but not quite the same.

Go for it. It’s one of the most valuable gifts a parent can give a child. Anyone questioning that has ulterior motives.

Tell your girlfriend (and her friends) to blow it out of her ass. None of her business at all.

I kept reading to my children until they asked me to stop , way beyond when most of my friends had stopped.
I agree with other posters though, you might have a girlfriend problem. Is she jealous of your time with your child?
You’re the parent and tell her so. Tell her that you’ll stop when your child is ready.

She sounds jealous and is saying her friends think that too - if do, they sound like a nest of vipers.

You need to start reading to her ..... the riot act that is!

And for the record - 90 plus replies and 100% YANBU - you dont see that very often! Show her this thread whilst explaining how worldly and wise all Mumsnetters are so she can see the error of her ways.

I am so happy to see the YANBUs at 100%. This makes me so mad. Still reading with your son as he gets older is a wonderful thing and you’ve clearly done a very good job raising him as someone who loves books. This is precious, hold onto it. I love reading with my 2 year old, especially now that he’s developing his language more and joining in. I hope we’re still reading together for many years.

I can't think of a single good reason to stop.
Everyone complains that boys don't do so well at school or men don't get involved with their kids, and this is exactly the kind of thing Dads need to do.

Yes I think that's quite emphatic! I'm very appreciative of the reassurance. There are so many great books that I'm looking forward to sharing with him ( I think we're done with the Harry Potter phase now but that was great while it lasted)

Its lovely and you should just ignore her.
Also most kids haven't reached adult reading age by 12. By reading with your son your are encouraging him to read and probably challenging him with more complex text. I would imagine in a few years your ds will have a greater vocabulary and be a more confident reader than your gf's friends children who have been sent away to entertain themselves.

Oh, and yes. I agree with the poster who said they will let you read them things that they wouldn’t read alone. We’ve read Anne of Green Gables, and Tom’s Midnight Garden, and quite a few others that she loved but really wasn’t interested in until I picked them to read to her.

My daughter at 14 rarely picked up a book. She had to read Of mice and men for school and struggled to get in to it. Over a couple of nights we snuggled up.and I read to her. She ended up really enjoying it and it was lovely quality time for us both. Keep.doing what you are doing, its lovely and something he will always remember fondly.

To be honest one of the main reasons I want kids is to have another full 10-15 years of socially acceptable reasons to always be reading a Harry Potter book. It's lovely you share this with him, enjoy it - she is being silly... and a bit mean!

I think it's brilliant OP! You must continue for as long as your son will allow it!

Both my boys were dyslexic so I read to them for many years after most people had stopped as they couldn't read the books they were interested in by themselves. Even when they could read they continued to like being read to. Apart from getting to spend time with them I also got to read some great books I would never have read otherwise. They are both now in their 20s and are the only young adults they know who read voraciously for pleasure - your girlfriend is definitely jealous.