Who wants a whole street parking thread? Bring popcorn, it's a long one!

[originalcatlady]

See diagram below. I WFH and have no life but I'm pretty sure this will be entertaining to the Mumsnet parking thread folk!

House A, no car but X denotes the allocated disabled spot so he can be collected via a side entrance from his house.
House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2. Most people are afraid to park here. If someone does, she parks touching their bumper, in some kind of laying down the law attempt and stands there shouting "who's is this?" and similar nonsense.
House C, one car but not usually home, so is either forced to park in space X or further along from X, where there are two spaces in front of a garage.
House D, one car. Usually gets home first so gets space 3.
House E, house with drive.
House F, car but no drive. Usually parks in space 4.
House G, H, I, J have drives.
House K have two cars and no drive. They have been frequently told they are taking over the street and are not allowed to park in space 5, as it blocks house Gs drive and does not allow House F to park in space 4. I do point out that this has the same impact as house F parking in space 4 on me, but apparently not.
House L, house with drive (me).
House M, drive but no car.
House N, house with drive.

Houses B, F, G and M frequently have street gossips/meetings/bitching sessions declaring that people who haven't lived here for a billion years like them, are taking over, who do they think they are, they can't just park where they like etc etc.

So, if you're still with me, this brings me to today. In a spectacular turn of events, house K, who give no shits about fake parking laws, have parked in space 4. Their other car is further along in front of garage, as well as an unknown car.

House F have now come home parked kind of across both X and space 1 (basically leaving house Bs usual space for them). They are watching non stop to ensure they get their space back.

Very unusually, house C is home and has parked in space 2.

So. There is no space left in the street and house B, the most precious and hysterical have nowhere to park. They will return at 10pm.

This actually keeps me entertained daily. Sad I know.

We stretched ourselves with our mortgage when we bought our house to afford one with a driveway after years of renting terraced houses. Parking wars seriously wind me up to the point of apocalyptic rage. I know people can park where they like, but surely is just easier to pick a space and stick to it! Saying that... I can't wait for B to get home!

@mummmy2017 oh it's always a bonus when someone has visitors. I have one particular friend who doesn't park on my drive when she visits, as she finds it so funny to wind them up.

This this the thread of dreams - thank you.
I can't wait to see what happens (and can see the Mumsnet Perfect Diagram)!

Oh dear. I was supposed to have an early one tonight.

@MaggieFS that's why they complain - as often K fills 5 first, meaning F can't have 4.

Just here for the popcorn and genuflecting in awe at previous posters mum who is maintaining standards ten years on !!!!

Damn me for clicking on this thread, I wanted an early night tonight! I'm willing B to be home on time, or preferably early. Looking forward to some live commentary OP, as the action unfolds .

Eeh, it's better than the telly .

This needs to be turned into an add-on for The Sims

Turn the heating up, we want the window open before B gets home.

Feck I wanted to go to bed... that’s not gonna happen.

And people who take up two spaces with one car .... RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

I'm surprised K, or indeed anyone else, haven't taken to parking in 2 on a regular basis. Given the situation, it's ridiculous they indulge B having two spaces!

I’m rooting for K then OP!

Lol at add on for The Sims

Popcorn anyone? There is space on the bench too.

Fab explanation and diagram, OP. Not long now!

The Sims is 20 years old. Makes me feel ancient ...

It definitely needs a parking add on though.

Love that K gives zero fucks. Hurry home, B!

Sometimes ‘watch this thread’ button just isn’t enough is it.

Pass the popcorn...

So both B and F regularly park in a disabled bay - a proper disabled bay?

I would be taking daily photos and sending them to the council. Absolute fuckers.

Plus, I have to get up early tomorrow and am really tired. B has no fucking consideration

We have an odd neighbour who tells us not to park in our own St - and def not in front of her window as it blocks the light.
She own a fucking carpark at the side of her house - kept locked. Empty.

Ooh I am invested!!!!
Fab explanation and diagram op you’re ticking all the mn requirements tonight.
I would be busy taking out rubbish at 10pm- or sitting on my drive in a deck chair with popcorn

Got to love a good parking war.

My next door neighbours make me giggle.Their in their 80's,hardly ever go out in their car (I'm talking not even once a week)have a garage and yet will get the car out of the garage early morning,park in on the road outside their house and leave it there until late evening when they put it back in the garage.

They do it to stop people from parking outside their house because they don't like it.Its nuts and tbh petty.

Then we have a bloke who lives further down the road and a few minutes walk away which includes crossing another road who shoehorns himself into The tiniest gap between the kerb and keep clear sign next to it.This makes it really awkward for the residents of the house whose driveway faces the keep clear sign to get out.The bloke has a driveway at the back of his house via a lockable access road (all the residents have keys to the gates but rather than use the secure parking he leaves it down the road on the street.That one leaves me scratching my head.

Whynosnowyet id be parking there constantly then.

I found this thread just in time.

Tell K we salute them.