Who wants a whole street parking thread? Bring popcorn, it's a long one!

[originalcatlady]

See diagram below. I WFH and have no life but I'm pretty sure this will be entertaining to the Mumsnet parking thread folk!

House A, no car but X denotes the allocated disabled spot so he can be collected via a side entrance from his house.
House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2. Most people are afraid to park here. If someone does, she parks touching their bumper, in some kind of laying down the law attempt and stands there shouting "who's is this?" and similar nonsense.
House C, one car but not usually home, so is either forced to park in space X or further along from X, where there are two spaces in front of a garage.
House D, one car. Usually gets home first so gets space 3.
House E, house with drive.
House F, car but no drive. Usually parks in space 4.
House G, H, I, J have drives.
House K have two cars and no drive. They have been frequently told they are taking over the street and are not allowed to park in space 5, as it blocks house Gs drive and does not allow House F to park in space 4. I do point out that this has the same impact as house F parking in space 4 on me, but apparently not.
House L, house with drive (me).
House M, drive but no car.
House N, house with drive.

Houses B, F, G and M frequently have street gossips/meetings/bitching sessions declaring that people who haven't lived here for a billion years like them, are taking over, who do they think they are, they can't just park where they like etc etc.

So, if you're still with me, this brings me to today. In a spectacular turn of events, house K, who give no shits about fake parking laws, have parked in space 4. Their other car is further along in front of garage, as well as an unknown car.

House F have now come home parked kind of across both X and space 1 (basically leaving house Bs usual space for them). They are watching non stop to ensure they get their space back.

Very unusually, house C is home and has parked in space 2.

So. There is no space left in the street and house B, the most precious and hysterical have nowhere to park. They will return at 10pm.

This actually keeps me entertained daily. Sad I know.

Ohhhhh batshit Bertha I like that😂

Every street needs a K family. Yet every street seems to end up with a B. Life just isn't fair.

May be early in the year but I think this could be the best thread of 2020!

Mr K must have come home after her, which means he would have had to park in the next street.

OP, how ever do you get anything done at yours?!

Damn I thought we had action ......

My mum once lived for a few years in a place that wasn't that naice and always referred to one of the neighbours as Back Door Beryl. At the time I assumed it was because she was also sticking her head nosily out of the back door as opposed to being up for a bit of bum fun.

Back Door Beryl moved out in the middle of the night and was never heard of again. She also parked like a complete fuckwit.

I wonder if it's B.

(Sorry PP who has a nice cousin called Beryl, sure it's not her).

What time do you expect B to return, OP?

Does she go to work in the pink dressing gown?

I can imagine her accent when she says "Whose is this?"

I think we can safely assume that she does indeed wear her pink dressing gown at all times whenever she's outside her home (when inside, she wears a ball gown, taffeta bolero with a bias-stripe to the weft and sparkly tiara, but she changes ready to go out), and her voice and accent are identical to those of Brian's mum in Life of Brian.

Beryl is a gemstone, isn't it? Not that unlike a Pearl. I seem to recall a baby name thread where a mum was strongly considering Beryl for her expected DD2 and her DD1 was called Pearl. In some Scottish accents, they sound practically identical!

This thread is fantastic. I cannot wait for 10pm

I like the name Beryl but think my DH would divorce me if I named any future child that.

I am loving this thread.

I have visions of B being Mrs Bouquet (Bucket)

(DH husband cooking dinner tonight (again) - but he owes me for doing the b... paperwork) so I can watch this!

Hyacinth Bouquet would act just like Mrs B here but would never come out of doors wearing a dressing gown I don't think?

Loving this thread and looking forward to the updates later. Go Ks!

COME ON MR K!!

This has got to be one of my favourite threads!!! Eagerly awaiting updates

I bet she has squiggly patterned carpets. The type that you lose small dogs in for weeks at a time. And a tea cosy.

The dressing gown brings back memories of a neighbour who lived briefly in the street. She used to put the bin out in a pink quilted nylon dressing gown, with large curlers (it was the 80s) and a cigarette hanging precariously. My friend called her Fag Ash Annie. We lived in quite a posh street she she definitely ruffled a few feathers. She gave no shits and took no crap- us kids all thought she was great!

GinDaddy Thanks. Yep I am turning into a grumpy old woman. We don't have a drive. Next doors do and they park their three to four cars on the roadside including the junction.

I put the bin there on a Sunday because I have to unload or load some stuff in the car after church before I go out again.I can't carry it far. I am quite aware I am not entitled to have a place outside my house. It is an unwritten rule in our village about parking and we try to accommodate each other. However we get loads of cars at the pub. The pub has a car park, a large one.I actually think it is quite rude to park in front of the few houses rather than park in car park so occasionally if I have to load or unload my car after church then I stick the bin there. If people want to get out and move it I have no problem with that.
You can't see my house. These are narrow one car width roads. If the church is having a service and the pub is open then the only place we can park is the village hall. I cant carry the stuff from there it is too far.
If I go to a pub in another small village I park in the pub car park not in front of someone's house. Our houses are right on the road apart from the mansion opposite who has a long driveway up.
So sometimes I am a dick for a whole hour.We pay our rates, we sweep the leaves so it doesn't block the road and we spread the salt on the road from the bin because we are an unclassified road and the council no longer send the gritter up here despite there being a school. They occasionally send the snow plough if it gets over a foot high. Otherwise we have to clear it because the cars cant come up the hill. We even go out to help push if someone is stuck.

Shamelessly following this! This has been incredible! I should 100% be cooking dinner but this has just been too much 😂

@Bowerbird5 somehow I don't believe you're out pushing cars up hills in the snow if you can't carry your bits and pieces for church an extra 10 feet.

The council do grit our road but we do the footpaths from the grit box because we have elderly neighbours.
We wouldn't insist on having a specific parking space or whatever in return.

You need to make friends with K, hatch a plan to slowly start taking over all the spaces on the street then toast your success at the end with wine and watch the arguments unfold

Ordered a takeaway to save me cooking so I can keep an eye on this thread

I'd feel pressured but I know she won't disappoint 🤣

Just read the whole thread in one go... wow