Who wants a whole street parking thread? Bring popcorn, it's a long one!

[originalcatlady]

See diagram below. I WFH and have no life but I'm pretty sure this will be entertaining to the Mumsnet parking thread folk!

House A, no car but X denotes the allocated disabled spot so he can be collected via a side entrance from his house.
House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2. Most people are afraid to park here. If someone does, she parks touching their bumper, in some kind of laying down the law attempt and stands there shouting "who's is this?" and similar nonsense.
House C, one car but not usually home, so is either forced to park in space X or further along from X, where there are two spaces in front of a garage.
House D, one car. Usually gets home first so gets space 3.
House E, house with drive.
House F, car but no drive. Usually parks in space 4.
House G, H, I, J have drives.
House K have two cars and no drive. They have been frequently told they are taking over the street and are not allowed to park in space 5, as it blocks house Gs drive and does not allow House F to park in space 4. I do point out that this has the same impact as house F parking in space 4 on me, but apparently not.
House L, house with drive (me).
House M, drive but no car.
House N, house with drive.

Houses B, F, G and M frequently have street gossips/meetings/bitching sessions declaring that people who haven't lived here for a billion years like them, are taking over, who do they think they are, they can't just park where they like etc etc.

So, if you're still with me, this brings me to today. In a spectacular turn of events, house K, who give no shits about fake parking laws, have parked in space 4. Their other car is further along in front of garage, as well as an unknown car.

House F have now come home parked kind of across both X and space 1 (basically leaving house Bs usual space for them). They are watching non stop to ensure they get their space back.

Very unusually, house C is home and has parked in space 2.

So. There is no space left in the street and house B, the most precious and hysterical have nowhere to park. They will return at 10pm.

This actually keeps me entertained daily. Sad I know.

To add to the biscuit conversation... Morrisons are going to start selling Cherry Bakewell, strawberries and cream and marmite on toast (🤢) digestives!

@Flamingle18 is that one combined snack or 3 individual snacks?

Have you spoken to Mr & Mrs K at all to show some solidarity?

Also where abouts are you, I have a spare car I'm not using atm which I could leave in a space to cause more drama

I’m on mat leave right now waiting for a baby to arrive. If you’re in or around Buckinghamshire would be happy to come and do some recreational parking.

You need someone with a motorbike to leave it behind her after she parks close to the other car.

Rhubarb and custard creams you say?

I have been reading this thread from the start and have finally decided to add my two pennies worth!!
Thanks to all the wonderful people posting on this thread for giving me a purpose to live: I have not enjoyed such a compelling read since Gone with the wind which I read when I was 14.
I showed this thread to my brother last night when he came for dinner and his two comments were: it was not Cary Grant but James Stewart in Rear Window ( ok we all knew that and who really cares) and then he asked me are all these posters women? Well , mainly I said. " there is hell a lot of swearing going on" !! ( his response)
Anyway, I seriously think these events should be made into a film. I think it will be a roaring success..

This has afforded me much amusement! I have two suggestions:

1. find a flyer for a local driving school, pop it under B’s windscreen wiper, along with a post-it note, kindly pointing out that she could stop hogging two spaces and depriving her neighbours of a space, if she learnt how to properly park her car; and

2. if you’re anywhere near SW London I can come and park my car on your road. I rarely use it from one week to the next.... obvs I would need regular updates on B’s antics from you, OP, in recompense for my selfless sacrifice....

cheekaa great idea!

OP you are a legend. Adding my spare car to the offer pool, I'm in the south east.
As an added bonus the car is a heap of crap and regularly won't start, so unfortunately may end up getting stuck somewhere for months...

recreational parking

OP, love this thread, one for the Classics surely?

This is just so life affirming.

DP now invested in the thread

This is what we want on Mumsnet. Seriously, how many more MIL changes my DH nappy while I'm at work whilst simultaneously moving into my bedroom and teaching my DC a secret language that only her, DC and SIL talk. Oh, and aibu that my dog smokes weed threads

'Yes but is it touching' is the best thing I've read all week. And now I can' get that episode of Friends out of my head where Chandler is annoying Joey and saying 'Not touching, can't get mad, not touching, CAN'T GET MAD!'. (Please someone else say they know what I'm talking about so I don't look like a total weirdo )

Placemarking for tonight!

You need someone with a motorbike to leave it behind her after she parks close to the other car.

If she has such terrible non-traditional driving skills, she'll likely reverse into it and just knock it over.

If something sturdier could be parked there, though, right up close to the back of her car (but not quite touching, so she can't get mad!), that could be interesting.

She can hardly blame the new arrival for doing exactly what she does. If she tries, it would be a lovely opportunity to massively patronise educate her as to how important it is when parking to ensure you have enough room to get out based on the vehicles already there, as there's never any guarantee as to how much space a later arrival will leave you - in fact, you would not belieeeeve just how close some thoughtless and selfish people park to other cars.

I have reported this thread, as enough is enough - IMHO it's gone far too far now....

....not to deserve a place in Classics

@SurvivingCBeebies when they were doing the place up before moving in, there was lots of workmen and deliveries. Oh my word, B, F and M were constantly bitching about it!

I did say to them that I'm glad they haven't given in to the parking hitlers but that was early on and I don't think they got it. They probably do now.

@Flamingle18 bleurgh they sound vile.

I want rhubarb custard creams.

@bluehairandheartbroken all year!

I'm LOVING all these offers of recreational parking 

@originalcatlady I've been watching and de-lurked to thank you for providing endless entertainment
@Whiskeychaser any more contact from your CF? Your 2nd thread filled up before I could comment

@GiveHerHellFromUs separate! I think the cherry bakewell ones will be nice and just realised its marmalade on toast not marmite 🤣 but still doesn't sound very appealing!

Is the mysterious car still parked by the garages?
If so, any ideas whose it might be?