Who wants a whole street parking thread? Bring popcorn, it's a long one!

[originalcatlady]

See diagram below. I WFH and have no life but I'm pretty sure this will be entertaining to the Mumsnet parking thread folk!

House A, no car but X denotes the allocated disabled spot so he can be collected via a side entrance from his house.
House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2. Most people are afraid to park here. If someone does, she parks touching their bumper, in some kind of laying down the law attempt and stands there shouting "who's is this?" and similar nonsense.
House C, one car but not usually home, so is either forced to park in space X or further along from X, where there are two spaces in front of a garage.
House D, one car. Usually gets home first so gets space 3.
House E, house with drive.
House F, car but no drive. Usually parks in space 4.
House G, H, I, J have drives.
House K have two cars and no drive. They have been frequently told they are taking over the street and are not allowed to park in space 5, as it blocks house Gs drive and does not allow House F to park in space 4. I do point out that this has the same impact as house F parking in space 4 on me, but apparently not.
House L, house with drive (me).
House M, drive but no car.
House N, house with drive.

Houses B, F, G and M frequently have street gossips/meetings/bitching sessions declaring that people who haven't lived here for a billion years like them, are taking over, who do they think they are, they can't just park where they like etc etc.

So, if you're still with me, this brings me to today. In a spectacular turn of events, house K, who give no shits about fake parking laws, have parked in space 4. Their other car is further along in front of garage, as well as an unknown car.

House F have now come home parked kind of across both X and space 1 (basically leaving house Bs usual space for them). They are watching non stop to ensure they get their space back.

Very unusually, house C is home and has parked in space 2.

So. There is no space left in the street and house B, the most precious and hysterical have nowhere to park. They will return at 10pm.

This actually keeps me entertained daily. Sad I know.

Where is Mr K??????

Ooooh
OOOOooooh!

Mr K hurry up

After three failed attempts, B has reversed into space 1 (space X is also free so it shouldn't have been that hard).

Husband came out to help her reverse as close as she could to C's bumper. A quick tut and shake of the head and "it's getting worse here, everyone's at it, there's nowhere to park."

Let's just hope C doesn't need to be the first person out tomorrow 

@chuffincold my dp’s neighbours must think that about them dm hasn’t driven For prob 10 years. They keep her car ‘just in case’ it prob does about 100 miles a year, if that when dad takes it for a drive and 5 miles of those are going to the mot centre and back. It’s fully taxed and insured and it makes sure no one parks outside their house. On the plus side it’s very useful if one of our cars breaks down.

Damn and double damn

I really want Mr K to park in X as close as possible to Batshit B's car.

Shame Mr K wasn't home first. I wonder where Mrs K's car is.

Ahha that would be a good turn of events!

Mrs K is next to strange car. They are in the spaces not on the diagram as there is no house there, next to X.

I want MrsK to park in space 1 & go on holiday for a fortnight

When I started reading mn first I used to ignore the parking threads thinking that they sounded soooo boring. I came across one that was pages long and had to check it out to see wtf could be so exciting about this. Well i laughed so much i am now an addict. Shows you what I knew.

So B parked in a space which is right outside her house (and is next to an empty space) and b*tched and moaned that the parking has got worse! Even though she is the one who has effectively blocked her neighbour C in! Unbelievable!

"chuffincold

We have a neighbour who bought a car purely to park on the road in front of their house. Tax & MOT it every year but it never moves"

Do you live nextdoor to my mum??

Ffs Mr K. Men are USELESS

Bookmark....

No-one got upset or offended

WHA---?

What is wrong with them?

@angrywife there does seem to be a few that do it!?!
Do they also turn up at random times sit outside the house (in the car they use) and drive off again?
My DC refer to them as the weirdos

To all of you place marking with posts, just press the bookmark button!

One of the houses in our road is divided into two maisonettes, and has two parking spaces outside. Only one of the maisonette owners has a car, so she parks across the two spaces to keep everyone else out. If anyone else turns up when she's out and dares to park in one of the spaces, she parks up to within a fraction of an inch of their bumpers, then lurks in her front room ready to jump out and screech at them if they so much as touch her car with a finger, let alone their own car.

I got caught that way once and saw her lurking behind the front room curtains. The trouble is, I wasn't as parked-in as she hoped and could get out relatively easily. Nevertheless, I took care to make a bit of meal of it, shunting my car back and forth several times and ensuring that my bumper repeatedly came within an inch or two of hers but never quite touched it. It was fascinating watching her jumping up to leap out at me again and again, only to have to subside when she saw I still hadn't done anything to complain about. By the time I finally left her face had gone an unhealthy shade of red, and I made sure I waved cheerfully at her as I turned the car round and drove past her house.

If batshit b EVER says anything to you or k about parking, you absolutely have to print this all off, drape it over her car, sit back in house with popcorn and watch her either spontaneously combust or come over all religious and grovel to you and k for rest of her life. The nation has spoken; she is batshit supreme

Have you never said to B IT IS YOU CAUSING THE PROBLEM. EVERYONE COULD PARK JUST FINE IF YOU DIDNT INSIST ON USING TWO SPACES

That would be a brave person.

OP I do think you could have gone to the K’s house and asked Mrs K to phone Mr K and tell him to get back pronto.

I am on sick leave and this has kept me amused, thank you. I was impressed with the plan and the updates were brilliant. I was only able to read some of them from this morning as I had a GP app. I was busy looking for tiles and looking at small bathrooms on Pinterest today.

I thought I would drop in to check updates as I can’t sleep now.

We have on street parking. One house has right of way to their garage but can’t park in front of it because then they are parked on the right of way which belongs to next door neighbour. Then we have a pub with a car park but lots of diners park on the road. In the summer I have to put the bin out otherwise when I come back from church on a Sunday I can’t park outside my house. The same goes for later on mostly Thursday -Saturday. If your not back by seven forget it. I have been know to mutter when I have gone to Sainsbury’s after work only to get back too late and have to lug six bags of shopping from the adjacent street. I can’t do that if it is 6pm church service because it is busy in adjacent road and all the way around the corner to the school.

And don’t talk to me about parents parking. It is a nightmare however if we are home it has given us some amusement. The one were the woman in her brand new Merc was shouting because a lorry had just scraped her car. Neighbours opposite ( about 25 metres) seem to be involved so I sauntered over. Young, good looking man who used to play at my house filled me in. She was ranting and raving and going to ring the police when he said he casually pointed out that it was illegal to park on a junction!
Another I saw the school bus could get around the corner and as I know the driver I went out from the garden to see if I could assist. Near another junction( we have two and about ten metres of road between them) cars had parked either side of the narrow road so as the bus turned it couldn’t get all the way around without hitting the silver BMW. She had to wait over ten minutes before one of the drivers returned and when she politely asked could he refrain from parking there he told her she ought to learn to drive🤣 I pointed out that he ought to learn the Highway Code since he was illegally parked.😂 he drove off in a huff. The bus was then able to go on its way with the teenagers from the Secondary school five miles away. Bad luck if they needed to catch a connecting bus.
The Headteacher has sent letters home. It makes no difference. Some of them do u turns on the t junction. Silage time is fun because the tractors can barely get down the road in front of the school. Large feed wagons go to the chicken farm so they cause amusement and they won’t wait because they have other deliveries to do. Then there is the riders from the Livery Stables. The odd horse box or two if their is a show on.
I stand with a large mug of coffee and a biscuit and watch sometimes. DH has been known to get off the sofa. If no one parks in front of our house and the lace curtain( had to put it up because man next door kept looking in) is down we can actually see most of the goings on from the sofa.

Man next door knocked down part of the 18th C stone wall and built a driveway into his newly built garage. They even got permission to lower the kerb. They park on the road near the TJunction. There house is right on it and she has been know to park outside her house. They have three cars and a van. We have one car. Next doors have one car and a camper van. I did ask him if he would mind not parking in front of our window as it makes it so dark we have to have the lights on. He mostly complies. I like to watch the squirrels running up the trees with nuts they have pinched from someone’s bird table too. Some live on the village green opposite. The next house had two cars, one in the garage but they sold it and the new people have three and a trailer. That causes a bit of a problem.

FFS I got hooked on this thread when I was feeding the baby. She's been back in bed 20 minutes and I couldn't go to sleep until I'd finished it.
Fucking Mr K. Drive faster tomorrow!

Everyone has their own ‘spot’ in our court as well.
When a non resident parks, we all have to adjust.
No one gets huffy.
🍿👀