Who wants a whole street parking thread? Bring popcorn, it's a long one!

[originalcatlady]

See diagram below. I WFH and have no life but I'm pretty sure this will be entertaining to the Mumsnet parking thread folk!

House A, no car but X denotes the allocated disabled spot so he can be collected via a side entrance from his house.
House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2. Most people are afraid to park here. If someone does, she parks touching their bumper, in some kind of laying down the law attempt and stands there shouting "who's is this?" and similar nonsense.
House C, one car but not usually home, so is either forced to park in space X or further along from X, where there are two spaces in front of a garage.
House D, one car. Usually gets home first so gets space 3.
House E, house with drive.
House F, car but no drive. Usually parks in space 4.
House G, H, I, J have drives.
House K have two cars and no drive. They have been frequently told they are taking over the street and are not allowed to park in space 5, as it blocks house Gs drive and does not allow House F to park in space 4. I do point out that this has the same impact as house F parking in space 4 on me, but apparently not.
House L, house with drive (me).
House M, drive but no car.
House N, house with drive.

Houses B, F, G and M frequently have street gossips/meetings/bitching sessions declaring that people who haven't lived here for a billion years like them, are taking over, who do they think they are, they can't just park where they like etc etc.

So, if you're still with me, this brings me to today. In a spectacular turn of events, house K, who give no shits about fake parking laws, have parked in space 4. Their other car is further along in front of garage, as well as an unknown car.

House F have now come home parked kind of across both X and space 1 (basically leaving house Bs usual space for them). They are watching non stop to ensure they get their space back.

Very unusually, house C is home and has parked in space 2.

So. There is no space left in the street and house B, the most precious and hysterical have nowhere to park. They will return at 10pm.

This actually keeps me entertained daily. Sad I know.

I calmly explained it was their job to ticket parking infringements and if he wanted it to stop PARK somewhere else

How DARE you be the still, small voice of reason, IvyKaty?!

How very DARE you?!?!?!?!

Before I met my fiancé (who I now own our own home with) I lived with my sister in a new build terraced house. All houses had drives but most only for 1 car including my sisters’. Therefore I would park opposite my sister’s drive which left enough space for cars to get past to the other 2 houses beyond her house. However she got a new neighbour, a single man with a van and a car who would park his car on the drive and his van opposite meaning I had to park my car slightly further along, or sometimes on a different road around the corner. Didn’t matter to me as they’re roads and I don’t own it. Once I was opposite my sisters drive slightly further back than usual. Next door but one knocked on the door screaming like a banshee about my inconsiderate parking and how they’d struggle to get off their drive now. I wasn’t opposite their drive as there are 2 spaces for a different house opposite their drive with ample manoeuvring space between the 2 sides. It was ridiculous and in the end I just told her she didn’t own the street and that I was parked safely and legally and then closed the door. After that they reported my sister for exercising in her own home at 7am saying it was disturbing them. They rang the council and everything. We know this because my sister’s partner at the time worked for the council. Some people are entitled and batshit.

Oh also on that same road, on Christmas Day I was on call at work (hospital medical job). I got called out and when I returned home I had to park (again safe and legal) outside of someone’s house on the corner of their house so not blocking drive and not blocking any road access. I was wearing scrubs so nothing inappropriate just to clarify. The woman who lived there opened her window to shout “don’t park there you f*cking slag” on Christmas Day. I ignored her and left my car where it was. Anyway turns out she was the sister in law of the other batshit parking neighbour. They were all in their 20s, same as me. Just entitled idiots.

I have just spent my entire lunch break reading this thread and it's made me Kate back but I don't care!

*late

B reported D to the council for having two cars 🤣

Holy shit this has sent me over the edge, hahahahahahahahahah

Oh please let the person receiving the complaint from B be a mumsnetter and share it

The latest parking on our street is drug dealer twat and newbies (been here a year but are the newest on the street) both parking at the end of their empty drives meaning a normal car has to squeeze through. I dread to think how an emergency vehicle would get through, well they wouldn't fit through.

This has had me in tears! Just the stuff needed to cheer up! I also can't help laughing at if one of the neighbours was reading thread too then gets to point they thought hang on this is my street and I am b or k or one of them and being watched across the world 😂😂😂 absolutely brilliant

Place marking so I can see what happens tonight.

I really hope k parks there again whilst b is at work later

I was on your side @originalcatldy until you used witches coven as a derogatory term.

Annoyingly I live on a street with on road parking only, and never enough spaces for everyone. The worst part is though NO-ONE fights or shouts about not getting to park outside their own door, or even on their own road they just bob along to a road over where there's only flats on one side so tons of room and walk the few mins home. The INCONSIDERATE b'tards, I won't be able to ever start a parking thread.We even have a school on the road, so traffic busy 8.30am -9am and then again at pick up, but again no one seems bothered. Most frustrating...

Looks like it will be a quiet one. C is firmly in space 2. F is in 4. It's all resting on Mr and Mrs K.

Please start a rumour among neighbours that you are buying a large campervan and will be parking it in drive meaning you need to use street parking going forward...or ring f ( put note through door if you can get away with not being seen) tell them there is an inspector on way as reported them for blocking diabled spot and they have no blue badge

OMG this thread has been brilliant. OP, hats off to you for your diagram and reporting skills. Take a bow

Do you live near Royal Holloway Original?

I am actually having a couple of jobs done soon that will need scaffolding/skips. Oh and I always have the drive jet washed at the end of winter.

I shall resurrect this thread when I unfortunately have to park in spot 2.

Before I even get stuck into the thread, OP, may I congratulate you on the clarity of your explanation and the excellence of your diagram!

And I'd like to visit your street and park where B usually parks. Ideally, in a motorhome, so I could be there all night long!

I reckon you could crowdfund your skip hire if you promise us all you'd share live updates while the work was being done. I'd be in.

You can pay a small amount extra for a skip licence to put it on the road

yes let's crowdfund but also for a camera directed towards skip with licence on the road so we can watch in real-time.

Home time update. C is in 2. D is in 3, bumper touching C (they like this little passive aggressive move over there). F is in 4. Mrs K and the strange car are by the garage along from X.

We have space 1 free.

Mr K and B are yet to return.

We may have fun yet...

Come on Mr K.

Drive, Mr K, drive!