Who wants a whole street parking thread? Bring popcorn, it's a long one!

[originalcatlady]

See diagram below. I WFH and have no life but I'm pretty sure this will be entertaining to the Mumsnet parking thread folk!

House A, no car but X denotes the allocated disabled spot so he can be collected via a side entrance from his house.
House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2. Most people are afraid to park here. If someone does, she parks touching their bumper, in some kind of laying down the law attempt and stands there shouting "who's is this?" and similar nonsense.
House C, one car but not usually home, so is either forced to park in space X or further along from X, where there are two spaces in front of a garage.
House D, one car. Usually gets home first so gets space 3.
House E, house with drive.
House F, car but no drive. Usually parks in space 4.
House G, H, I, J have drives.
House K have two cars and no drive. They have been frequently told they are taking over the street and are not allowed to park in space 5, as it blocks house Gs drive and does not allow House F to park in space 4. I do point out that this has the same impact as house F parking in space 4 on me, but apparently not.
House L, house with drive (me).
House M, drive but no car.
House N, house with drive.

Houses B, F, G and M frequently have street gossips/meetings/bitching sessions declaring that people who haven't lived here for a billion years like them, are taking over, who do they think they are, they can't just park where they like etc etc.

So, if you're still with me, this brings me to today. In a spectacular turn of events, house K, who give no shits about fake parking laws, have parked in space 4. Their other car is further along in front of garage, as well as an unknown car.

House F have now come home parked kind of across both X and space 1 (basically leaving house Bs usual space for them). They are watching non stop to ensure they get their space back.

Very unusually, house C is home and has parked in space 2.

So. There is no space left in the street and house B, the most precious and hysterical have nowhere to park. They will return at 10pm.

This actually keeps me entertained daily. Sad I know.

I love that K is taking none of F's nonsense. Wish I had the balls to just shut doors on annoying people 🤣

B has returned to space 1/2. Everyone is safely in their houses and all the cars are happy.

Look, I have an internet routine in the morning you know, first I read every gripping story on BBC news , THEN I indulge in the wonderful world of others on MN. This morning I simply cannot leave this thread to even glance at news, so ANYTHING could be happening of global importance, but I am ignorant because I and many others are desperately waiting for b to get her Hollywood ending cumupance! Brilliant :)

Lisa that is amazing Did he try and charge a fine?

Not to my knowledge, although nothing would surprise me. They just made a lot of signs and ‘tickets’ with very vague threats on them.

Several times when we had friends visiting they’d go back to their cars to find their wipers had been pulled up (not sure why) or someone would come running out of their house and demand to know what they were doing parking in the ‘residents only’ parking (it wasn’t).

Eventually there was a falling out over something else and the ringleader (he of the hi-vis vest) announced he would be ‘stepping down’ as the street’s volunteer parking attendant as no one seemed to be grateful enough for his efforts

OP, I genuinely don't see how you could have such in depth knowledge without watching everyone But I don't work from home, maybe if I did I also would be gazing out the window to break the boredom Like right now, I should be studying but am reading this as its much more fun

Eventually there was a falling out over something else and the ringleader (he of the hi-vis vest) announced he would be ‘stepping down’ as the street’s volunteer parking attendant as no one seemed to be grateful enough for his efforts

I hope you had a celebratory party to which he was not invited.

Lisa, I really really love that story! I am sure it wasn't so funny at the time though

OP please invite K for a cuppa and let us know what was said!

I'm doing the cleaning now abandons for this, you don't live In my street don't you but this is just how my dead end terrace is with one seriously over weight neighbour more or less pissing over her outside and going back and forth 10 times lining up within the nearest inch. When someone parks god forbid in that space she will aggressively bang on the door demanding they move. I did it once when her daughter who doesn't live here parked outside mine and bang bang there she was at 11 pm shouting that I shift immediately . The answer I'll move when my space is free now fuck off or I'll park it up your fat arse I had daggers for weeks. Anyway coffee and custard creams at the ready!

This is the best thread, EVER!

Please send the K's a Thank You card and some wine from all of us.

Has anyone ever dared suggest to B that she should choose either 1 or 2 and not park in 2 spaces? Thanks for the thread, op. I was meant to go for a run, but just ate 3 pieces of toast while reading the whole saga

Is X an official disabled parking bay, marked out by the Council?

If so, anyone parking in it (or part of it) without a blue badge could be ticketed - if only someone reported it to the Council…...

@flouncyfanny well who wouldn't?! Seriously though, apart from batshit B and a 15 minute morning rush hour, it's so peaceful I can here the birds singing from inside. So when your lounge looks into the street you notice all comings and goings. Fifteen years later and you get the pattern. In fact, I may return later and describe to you the crazy I witness. It'll make channel 5 then 

Anyway coffee and custard creams at the ready!

Have you tried rhubarb-and-custard creams? The cream bit is pink. They are very nice I didn't think they would be but they are

The thing that tickles me the most, is by all accounts, the ONLY person parking selfishly in all this is Batshit Bertha.

The previous owners of D moved away just because of her. At the time, C had no car and D had two. So again, all could have parked nicely if B wasn't so fucking weird. B reported D to the council for having two cars 🤣

B reported D to the council for having two cars

She is the gift that keeps on giving 😂😂😂

I note with interest that they waited until Mr K had gone to work and transporter-friend had left before knocking on Mrs K's door. Not so brave if there's more than one person in, are they?

I would be parking in 1 or 2 and telling her to do one if she complained...

My new neighbours once had a massive RV parked outside our houses (semi) I was mildly annoyed because it was parked about 2 metres from my front door. Must have annoyed the other neighbours because it partly blocked the access to their drives all weekend.

So OP, know anyone with a Caravan/RV? Park it right outside B's house.

That's cheered my morning up OP!

Now back to my tax return

No caravan, but my aunt has a horse box.

So B usually parks her one car across 2 spaces??

Cheeky cow. I'll be on this thread until the bitter end, cheering on house K (as long as they haven't blocked the disabled parking space??)

I literally have nothing else to do today