Who wants a whole street parking thread? Bring popcorn, it's a long one!

[originalcatlady]

See diagram below. I WFH and have no life but I'm pretty sure this will be entertaining to the Mumsnet parking thread folk!

House A, no car but X denotes the allocated disabled spot so he can be collected via a side entrance from his house.
House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2. Most people are afraid to park here. If someone does, she parks touching their bumper, in some kind of laying down the law attempt and stands there shouting "who's is this?" and similar nonsense.
House C, one car but not usually home, so is either forced to park in space X or further along from X, where there are two spaces in front of a garage.
House D, one car. Usually gets home first so gets space 3.
House E, house with drive.
House F, car but no drive. Usually parks in space 4.
House G, H, I, J have drives.
House K have two cars and no drive. They have been frequently told they are taking over the street and are not allowed to park in space 5, as it blocks house Gs drive and does not allow House F to park in space 4. I do point out that this has the same impact as house F parking in space 4 on me, but apparently not.
House L, house with drive (me).
House M, drive but no car.
House N, house with drive.

Houses B, F, G and M frequently have street gossips/meetings/bitching sessions declaring that people who haven't lived here for a billion years like them, are taking over, who do they think they are, they can't just park where they like etc etc.

So, if you're still with me, this brings me to today. In a spectacular turn of events, house K, who give no shits about fake parking laws, have parked in space 4. Their other car is further along in front of garage, as well as an unknown car.

House F have now come home parked kind of across both X and space 1 (basically leaving house Bs usual space for them). They are watching non stop to ensure they get their space back.

Very unusually, house C is home and has parked in space 2.

So. There is no space left in the street and house B, the most precious and hysterical have nowhere to park. They will return at 10pm.

This actually keeps me entertained daily. Sad I know.

They're all still there on repeat. It seems they are working up to / daring one of them to knock on Ks house.

If they do, hope K tells them to fuck off.

We lived in a small development of houses each with one proper place outside each house, then loads of non allocated communal parking.
No problems at all apart from my immediate neighbour who arbitrarily "allocated" the spare parking. If someone visited me during the day and parked in her husband's "space" when he was out all day, she would put a note on their car, telling them to park on the main road outside the development.

We had one car. Then got a second.
All hell broke loose.
The had SIX cars. For 2 adults and 2 teenagers.

I got told off for parking in her spot, so I asked which was my spot.
"second one along the access road" I was told.
I DID point out that her son was already parked there and in future I would park wherever I wanted.
Unless she wanted me to knock on the door every time her lazy son decided to nick my "spot"

Do you think K has invited her mate round and asked her to park there on purpose?

Transporter lady is leaving. Ohhhh if looks could kill. Not so mouthy now are they?!

flouncyfanny

From the sounds of it, it may end being prized from her cold dead hands if she keeps driving that way. Sadly she will no doubt take someone else with her. So dangerous.

They prefer more sedate topics like "Inside the Biscuit Factory", where Denise demonstrates to them for ten minutes how she can get 48 packets in a standard box lengthways but only 44 if she packs them in widthways

That sounds GRIPPING!

Channel 5, you say?

I don't even drive but I absolutely love the parking wars threads

F is knocking on Ks door!!!

I am so over involved in this

Woke up one morning to find that someone had superglued an enormous vibrator to her bonnet

"Someone, domesticgoddess?

Invested!

Ooh ooh what's F saying - can you hear?

Bloody hell im supposed to be heading to a meeting and going to be late at this rate. Not sure ‘being overly invested in a parking thread on MN’ will be accepted as my excuse 🤣

I heard F raised voice then the door closing. The witch's coven are back. Have they got nothing better to do (says she and a million Mumsnetters eagerly watching)?!

The frozen sausage thing is a stupid meme on Pistonheads which isn’t true and stopped being funny a very long time ago. For the love of god, please don’t import it here.

Tragically, I have to agree with the above.

You may or may not get cats, dogs, foxes, badgers, wolverines, great white sharks etc . . .

. . . but you will DEFINITELY get rats.

I had neighbours like this once and (I kid you not) they actually made up these shitty laminated ‘parking tickets’ which they put on the windshields saying something like ‘your car’s details have been logged’ (for what, it wasn’t clear) and one of them had a hi-vis vest made up with ‘parking attendant’ on the back which he would put on and then wander around looking disapprovingly at any cars he didn’t recognise. The stupid thing was that hardly anyone in the street even had a car and there was always plenty of space available, they just had this enormous bee in their bonnets about strangers parking there.

The police eventually came round and told them to stop fiddling with people’s windscreens! I wish I was joking!

Absolutely love your thread op, well done! However your street sounds like the stuff of nightmares. Making me even happier that we have a big drive and our house is set back off the road meaning we rarely see neighbours. The thoughts of being watched to the point of a neighbour knowing my work pattern and exactly how often we eat out, get takeaway, what time we get up and go to bed etc makes my skin crawl

Lisa that is amazing Did he try and charge a fine? Remember the story about the fake zoo parking attendant who kept all the parking money

I don't watch them. It's just obvious when people do the same day in and day out in a quiet street.

@originalcatlady can you get us a Google map image of your street with the name removed?