Who wants a whole street parking thread? Bring popcorn, it's a long one!

[originalcatlady]

See diagram below. I WFH and have no life but I'm pretty sure this will be entertaining to the Mumsnet parking thread folk!

House A, no car but X denotes the allocated disabled spot so he can be collected via a side entrance from his house.
House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2. Most people are afraid to park here. If someone does, she parks touching their bumper, in some kind of laying down the law attempt and stands there shouting "who's is this?" and similar nonsense.
House C, one car but not usually home, so is either forced to park in space X or further along from X, where there are two spaces in front of a garage.
House D, one car. Usually gets home first so gets space 3.
House E, house with drive.
House F, car but no drive. Usually parks in space 4.
House G, H, I, J have drives.
House K have two cars and no drive. They have been frequently told they are taking over the street and are not allowed to park in space 5, as it blocks house Gs drive and does not allow House F to park in space 4. I do point out that this has the same impact as house F parking in space 4 on me, but apparently not.
House L, house with drive (me).
House M, drive but no car.
House N, house with drive.

Houses B, F, G and M frequently have street gossips/meetings/bitching sessions declaring that people who haven't lived here for a billion years like them, are taking over, who do they think they are, they can't just park where they like etc etc.

So, if you're still with me, this brings me to today. In a spectacular turn of events, house K, who give no shits about fake parking laws, have parked in space 4. Their other car is further along in front of garage, as well as an unknown car.

House F have now come home parked kind of across both X and space 1 (basically leaving house Bs usual space for them). They are watching non stop to ensure they get their space back.

Very unusually, house C is home and has parked in space 2.

So. There is no space left in the street and house B, the most precious and hysterical have nowhere to park. They will return at 10pm.

This actually keeps me entertained daily. Sad I know.

This conversation was M and B but now F has come to join in. No need for me to move, they are right at the end of my drive at full volume.

I fell asleep last night before B came home, and reading it this morning it's even better than I thought. I wonder if she's asking M to move out so B can have her house and drive?

'B' should be reported for running around the street in a pink dressing gown

Was that the exchange between M and B?

I am now reading the thread on my laptop and looking at the diagram on my phone. Multi tasking!

Who are they going to report K to?

This is hilarious! I live in a town centre in a street of terraced houses, it really is every man for himself and some! If I get home late at night, I have to be prepared to park somewhere right out of the way. I did have a note put on my windscreen once, telling me I was a selfish parker. It was so funny! I couldn't understand why on earth I was being called that when every other fucker parks where they want. I'm always considerate and don't park up people's arses so can only surmise we have a deranged person living on our road. My DD thinks they mistook me for another car the same as mine (it has a distinctive colour) which often parks outside our row of houses in the day. Either way, we don't really have parking wars, except the deranged person whom we've never established the identity of!

Invite them in for a cuppa to discuss the 'issue' but keep being reasonable and saying that anyone has a right to park where they wish in the street.

"I'll have to report this. It can't go on."

Report to whom? I can just imagine some poor sod at the local council having to listen to B[atshit Bertha]’s diatribes about people daring to park contrary to her preferences.

I've printed out the picture posted by the highly invested poster who added drives and numbers of cars. It's the only way I can keep up.

All the unnecessary stress B is putting herself under because of a parking space is making me dizzy. I have to go do some work now, looking forward to logging on at tea break to see some updates.

Get out there and insist they report it OP. Then watch their faces when the nice police or traffic officer explains it to them

flouncyfanny she really should give up her licence. What if they had been people? I imagine she just drove off too?

God I so hope they call the police!

You and K need to work out a way to get the council to put unbroken lines on one side of the road. Extra points if they can block parking spot 1 somehow.

Go out and tell them you're planning a street party next week and all parking will be suspended so the sound systems can be installed and the floats can get past.

OP, dare you to open the window and shout at them to get a life or get a drive.

OP, dare you to open the window and shout at them to get a life or get a drive.

😂😂

'Go out and tell them you're planning a street party next week and all parking will be suspended so the sound systems can be installed and the floats can get past.'

😂😂😂

flouncyfanny God dunno how you have managed to restrain yourself from reporting her. I would have by now she's terrible.

OP, to be a nice neighbour, could you collect some numbers of companies that do drives and post it through F and B's doors.

have you got a dictaphone so we can listen in?

B couldn't make a drive in the space she has.

Wow these people have no lives or real excitement or stress do they? If they did they wouldn't be fannying about so much.

If they keep up the blocking in, yelling and moaning at and going on, i hope K reports them for harassment. They are bullies.