Who wants a whole street parking thread? Bring popcorn, it's a long one!

[originalcatlady]

See diagram below. I WFH and have no life but I'm pretty sure this will be entertaining to the Mumsnet parking thread folk!

House A, no car but X denotes the allocated disabled spot so he can be collected via a side entrance from his house.
House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2. Most people are afraid to park here. If someone does, she parks touching their bumper, in some kind of laying down the law attempt and stands there shouting "who's is this?" and similar nonsense.
House C, one car but not usually home, so is either forced to park in space X or further along from X, where there are two spaces in front of a garage.
House D, one car. Usually gets home first so gets space 3.
House E, house with drive.
House F, car but no drive. Usually parks in space 4.
House G, H, I, J have drives.
House K have two cars and no drive. They have been frequently told they are taking over the street and are not allowed to park in space 5, as it blocks house Gs drive and does not allow House F to park in space 4. I do point out that this has the same impact as house F parking in space 4 on me, but apparently not.
House L, house with drive (me).
House M, drive but no car.
House N, house with drive.

Houses B, F, G and M frequently have street gossips/meetings/bitching sessions declaring that people who haven't lived here for a billion years like them, are taking over, who do they think they are, they can't just park where they like etc etc.

So, if you're still with me, this brings me to today. In a spectacular turn of events, house K, who give no shits about fake parking laws, have parked in space 4. Their other car is further along in front of garage, as well as an unknown car.

House F have now come home parked kind of across both X and space 1 (basically leaving house Bs usual space for them). They are watching non stop to ensure they get their space back.

Very unusually, house C is home and has parked in space 2.

So. There is no space left in the street and house B, the most precious and hysterical have nowhere to park. They will return at 10pm.

This actually keeps me entertained daily. Sad I know.

I know we are all agog for updates but, 16 pages in, my face still looks like this because of this from the OP: “House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2.”

I mean......what...the....actual....fuck? Who does this harpy think she is?? Its all very amusing for us but living in the street with such an entitled bitch must be really irritating. You have my sympathies OP (as well as my undivided attention, obvs )

We had a 'B' in our road. If she couldn't park in 'her' place she would park on a junction. Police had been involved but no action taken. Horrible woman. Woke up one morning to find that someone had superglued an enormous vibrator to her bonnet 😂😂😂😂

@CoraPirbright

I'm in agreement with you
And furiously refreshing for the next update...too early for popcorn by the way I'm eating porridge with blueberries yum
LoL

Argh!!! I can't believe I fell asleep and missed all the fun at 10pm last night! Checking in for morning update... (we have a horrible next door neighbour who regularly blocks us in with two cars because he doesn't like the way we park... which is... directly outside our OWN house ffs but means they can't fit their two cars outside their house, despite the fact there is ample on street parking across the road like 10 steps further away - what is WRONG with people!)

What would be very entertaining would be if someone parked in B's space and then went on 2 weeks holiday using a taxi. She would probably spontaneously combust.

Oh no! K is going to work!!

Fantastic thread! My DP is banging on to me about something important and I keep telling him to shut up... I'd far rather concentrate on this!

B is just waiting for her space.
It's tonight there will be fireworks.

Awww man!

Oh dear lord. C has gone to work...

A great big black VW transporter has parked in 2/3 

So, it's a countdown to B reclaiming her spot, surely, even if only for a few hours.

F has moved back to her rightful number 4 ... in her dressing gown.

That’ll be B's private investigator/hit squad.

B has opened door in a bright pink dressing gown and asked where transporter lady is going. Transporter lady ignores and goes to visit...

Mrs K!!!!!

Hahahaha this is brilliant!

are the spaces actually divided, or is it just a roadside?

And are there any rules (or at least guidelines) regarding parking near/opposite dropped kerbs? I ask this becuase we have a driveway with a dropped kerb but people parking on street opposite (although they have driveways if they have more than one car they put one on the roadside.

So when either of us tries to leave in the morning, we have to turn early because of the cars opposite which means we're driving off the high kerb with our rear wheels.

Jaysus so much excitement in dressing gowns! I'm in mine too! Cheering you on OP!

It's just a roadway. I don't know if there is, but there should be, as I have the same issue. But then we wouldn't have spaces 1 2 or 3 and everybody would die.

B is in her car...

Dear God, this is good 😃

@originaldomesticgodess LOL!!!

I need a repost of the diagram - have to keep scrolling back to look at where everyone is moving to!

In her dressing gown on M's drive?