He won't acknowledge me on social media

[purplerainmaker]

Over allhe is a pretty good boyfriend and we are together 18 months .
He doesn't post too much but like and loves many posts of his friends.
Hi s profile pictures are always of him and his mates.
He can be a bit immature for a 35 year old man. He isn't ready for commitment or kids or even sharing a flat.
He has his own flat.
Even though he is a loving boyfriend, I am invisible to the outside work apart from his close friends and his family.
AIBU to be miffed? He is regularly interacting with lots of his friends who are women but doesn't acknowledge me really. I feel like deleting my accounts as it's painful to watch his presence yet I am not a part of his life on sm which is essentially the public and friends in his last life.

Geez!

No sm isn't the be all and end all BUT it's part of the picture here.

I think you'll very likely discover you're one of at least a few op that he's treating like he's treating you.

At the very least he's keeping his options open.

If you're happy to carry on in the knowledge you're likely not the only person he's sleeping with that's up to you but I suspect you aren't.

He's showing you no commitment, no obvious loyalty, no consideration for your concerns.

And if you are also in your 30's and wanting to marry, have dc etc then you're wasting your fertile years on this guy!

Social media is evil. There is a real life alternative instead. So it’s a load of old bollocks from me too.

So he 'lives' on social media, but excludes any reference to you. clearly, privacy isn't his issue, as his life is being showcased for the world to see, but you don't 'exist' in his social media world. Where he lives.

You have to decide how you feel about it and make your decision re the relationship.

Wow. Many people I know move in with each other around 2 to 3 months of dating. 6 months is a bit of a stretch. 3 years? If you're not going move in together after a year, then it's over and you call it quits.

Not at all, wife and I didn't live together until at least 2 years after we met. We've been married over 20 years. If she had suggested it after 6 months, it would have been a no from me.

I use instagram quite a lot, I have posted a photo that included my boyfriend once, apart from that he isn’t on there and I have requested he doesn’t post me on his as his account isn’t private. I don’t have facebook, but I assume he doesn’t put me on there.

An ex used to put loads of stuff on facebook and instagram (despite me asking him not to), oddly enough he didn’t post about being verbally abusive, or pictures of bruises, split lips and chunks of missing hair.

You’ve met his friends/family in actual real life, the whole social media obsession is a bit odd generally.

How long are you happy to rumble along like this OP?

If you are a similar age to him and hoping for children, marriage etc in the near future, then surely you are wasting your time?

She hasn't met his friends - well, none of the women friends he's always interacting with on sm

My sister had a relationship like this, he was 32, own place, good job ect and she kept asking for some kind of commitment from him but it was always "too early". She did some digging in the end and found him back on the site they met and on another dating site, very active and stating he was after fwb type of relationships.

Reguardless of social media, he doesn't sound like he wants to overly be committed to you op. If you hang around for him, you might never get to have children or a house with a person, because I fully believe this man has no intention to do so with you.

My DH doesn't post declarations of love or Happy Birthdays to me (he's not the kind of bloke and I don't even use fb) but he's never hide me. It sounds like you want more, so don't waste anymore time.

Many people I know move in with each other around 2 to 3 months of dating.

Just out of curiosity, how long do those relationships last?

I've never had a DP on my social media. Not my ex of 10 years nor my current partner of 8 months.

Wow. Many people I know move in with each other around 2 to 3 months of dating.

Is it just me who thinks after two months you probably wouldn't have said I love you and you definitely shouldn't move in together before that?

I had a relationship like this once. He saw me as a FWB. The scales finally fell from my eyes when he started talking about this wonderful new woman he'd met. I was good enough to shag and hang with if there wasn't a better offer on the cards for him.

My DH unfollowed me on Facebook months before I realised - he claimed I like too many Poodle and Guinea pig posts having said that we are married with kids, so he is not afraid of commitment.

I would be concerned that you have not met his female friends. Why is he not acknowledging you or your relationship on social media despite him interacting with other women. Is he really afraid of commitment at 35? I think you may be back burner woman. Happy to muddle with you until he meets the one. Sorry OP.

Social media is evil. There is a real life alternative instead. So it’s a load of old bollocks from me too.

These replies are unhelpful. Yes it would be silly to compare your life to the projection of other people's lives you see on social media, but if people say or do hurtful things on social media it's still hurtful. Ignoring you on SM while interacting with everyone else is hurtful.

Wow. Many people I know move in with each other around 2 to 3 months of dating. 6 months is a bit of a stretch. 3 years? If you're not going move in together after a year, then it's over and you call it quits.

2-3 months?! I hadn’t had sex with my partner then, nevermind moving him in! I don’t know anyone who has moved in that early. We won’t be moving in after a year, not a reason to end a relationship, that’s ridiculous.

Ive been with DP over 2 years. I’ve never posted a photo of him on my SM. It’s no one else’s business who I’m in a relationship with. My close friends and family have met him tons though

Really think you need to stop basing your relationship around SM. It’s very unhealthy

Ignoring you on SM while interacting with everyone else is hurtful.

But he interacts with her in real life, not some digital platform.

People should read the full thread. Lack of social media presence itself - probably not an issue, various reasons for that.
No mention of your girlfriend ever, if you are otherwise active and posting loads of photos with friends - a bit odd.

No mention of girlfriend on SM, a 35-year old man saying he's not ready for anything serious after 18 months - yeah, he's not that into you.

@SaphfireRose

Wow. Many people I know move in with each other around 2 to 3 months of dating. 6 months is a bit of a stretch. 3 years? If you're not going move in together after a year, then it's over and you call it quits.

There is not a SOUL in my social circle who moved in with their partner only 2 months after starting to date.

It's usually only the sort you'd see on The Jeremy Kyle Show.

Most intelligent, normal people will not move in together for at LEAST a year. Maybe even 18 months to 2 years. (Some, even longer!) I think it's batshit to move in with someone, 8 to 10 WEEKS after starting to date!

Also, there is nothing wrong with social media. Again, it's only the Jeremy Kyle show type who make it shit - with their arguments and in-fighting on facebook. Everyone I have on there behaves perfectly well, normally, and civilly.

Even so @purplerainmaker this guy clearly is not into you. Dump him.

It could be perfectly harmless OP, maybe I’m he’s just really private but this could also be a red flag.

My ex used to post photos of me everywhere but when we broke up and he met other women (there have been lots) there was never a sign of them. He was hiding them from his DC because he was continually breaking up with women and he knew how much of a lothario he looked to the outsiders. He pretty much knows every relationship he’s ever going to be in is doomed and as such I don’t think he’d post anything. He hasn’t told his DC that he’s with someone and they’re planning on moving in.

Could be a red flag...

Lol what's with the weird 'move in after 2-3' months comments? Mental!

No way would i live with a partner until I'd known them at least a year. Ideally more like two years.

But I like my own space and have no interest in having kids ect...so there's no rush. But still, at least wait a year surely!

@Pinkbonbon we waited a year and even then we rented for a couple of years first. Less than a year would've been out of the question! The first year was about dating / fun / the excitement of the person knocking on your door etc!

Exactly!

I mean it takes a few years to really get to know someone, no way would I wanna live with them early on.

Wow. Many people I know move in with each other around 2 to 3 months of dating

Where do you live? Love Island

@NameChangeNugget

Where do you live? Love Island

😂