Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feel sorry for colleague ripped off at strip club?

551 replies

Bibbiditybobbidy · 26/01/2020 23:00

30 year old colleague went to a well known strip club on a stag do, and woke up the next day with £7k missing from bank acct.
He was so drunk it appears he managed to spend all that without knowing. When he complained they sent him evidence of himself ( CCTV) at the bar authorising each transaction, times receipts etc
He parents have had to lend him ££ as he’s at his over draft limit and he’s paying them back.
He’s weeping and wailing about it but I just think he’s been an arse and should learn as lesson AIBU? He’s getting lots of sympathy about the ‘injustice’ of it in the office... but he's exactly the kind of guy to show off in front of his mates playing the big man, while he’s actually a bit of a beta male...I have NO sympathy for him, the little creep!

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2020 20:26

Ah siring1 are you not getting that attention you needed earlier? I don’t know what you mean, and I’m sorry about that because I bet it was super intelligent and well thought out.

siring1 · 27/01/2020 20:28

Read my post and respond.

SunshineCake · 27/01/2020 20:28

That post so needed reporting.

siring1 · 27/01/2020 20:29

If a women has a lot to drink and says yes to sex with a man she wouldn't have had sex with when sober is that rape?

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2020 20:31

I don’t know siring1 - is it? If a man spends too much money in a strip club has he been raped? Otherwise why are we comparing them?

MorganKitten · 27/01/2020 20:33

I used to work in a club, girls had told me of tricks to get more money, one said her old club would get the men drunk and walk them to cash machines and take out as much as they could.

siring1 · 27/01/2020 20:33

Whatever you do when.you're drunk you take responsibity for when you are sober.

siring1 · 27/01/2020 20:34

Drunk

Original poster
Bibbiditybobbidy · 27/01/2020 20:44

Having Googled this it appears that there World is full of blokes who go to strip clubs, spend a fortune and then complain about it... there’s even advice on some ‘men’s’ websites spelling out how to not end up spending $$$. Bar service charges, eye watering priced drinks, charges per dancer per song, or per dance or per 20 mins... goes on and on...

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2020 20:45

Whatever you do when.you'renk you take responsibity for when you are sober.

Nope - spending too much of your own money when you’re drunk, your responsibility. Someone else using your body when you’re drunk, not your responsibility.

Do you think what happened in the OP is comparable to being raped? Otherwise where are these double standards you and hooves are so interested in?

WTAFFF · 27/01/2020 20:46

How are we actually comparing rape to (potentially) getting ripped off in a strip club?

Seriously people.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/01/2020 20:46

When you take out the type of establishment he was in, whilst he wasn't scammed as such, it is illegal to sell alcohol to a person already drunk. Other places have to abide by these rules or potentially get closed down. And there is also a fine for the individual who has served the drunk customer as well as a potential job loss. So the fact that it is a strip club should make no difference, they should not be allowed to serve anyone that drunk.

Iamthewombat · 27/01/2020 20:48

I called him a beta male as he’s eternally single but that’s because despite looking like a ordinary, ok looking, little bloke not in great shape his standards for women are hilariously high - basically he wants a girlfriend that looks like a super model...

Wow, OP, you don’t like this man at all, do you? I find your delight in his misfortune quite distasteful. Your description is spiteful too: “...little bloke not in great shape...”

I don’t like the other pile on attempts either. For everyone who thinks that he deserved to lose £7k because he views women as commodities or whatever: if he’d been beaten up by bouncers for questioning the bill, would you still say that he deserved all he got? How about if he’d been robbed whilst walking home drunk? Why does he deserve every misfortune for having been to a strip club on somebody else’s stag night? People make mistakes and drink too much sometimes. Are they all ‘asking for it’?

I bet if this was the 21 year old son of a poster we’d hear more sympathetic points of view.

I feel a bit sorry for him. It’s entirely possible that he was too drunk to see how much he was being charged. The club haven’t behaved responsibly.

As for the posters baying for him to be disciplined at work for going to the same strip clubs whose good fortune in getting their hands on the money of blind drunk men you are celebrating: seriously? So the clubs are to be congratulated and can operate any sharp practices they like, but anybody going into them deserves to have their life ruined?

greeneyedlulu · 27/01/2020 20:49

I used to know a few strippers and they loved their job. I know it has its dark side but it's not all like that. I also don't get why women are so fussed about their fellas going to stripclubs either... you have to pay the girls for attention there whereas the local bike in the local nightclub will give any untrustworthy fella what is he after for free.

This guy should actually be embarrassed that he had to get his parents to pay this off!

siring1 · 27/01/2020 20:50

How can it not be your responsibility when you say yes?

spongejack · 27/01/2020 20:50

@sweeneytoddsrazor makes a good point, rules are rules and they should target the club that's abusing the girls and the customers and no one deserves to be ripped off to the tune of £7K ! Although I can't believe it's actually £7k!

Iamthewombat · 27/01/2020 20:51

the local bike in the local nightclub will give any untrustworthy fella what is he after for free.

Is it 1982 again?

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2020 20:54

How can it not be your responsibility when you say yes?

What does this mean? I have no idea if that’s rape, not a clue. I do know that this scenario isn’t comparable to being raped. And so do you. So why you keep comparing them, then accusing others of double standards, is completely beyond me.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 27/01/2020 20:54

So where’s the double standard?

The double standards are with regards to the attitudes shown by people on here. If it was a woman who had got drunk and then been taken advantage of I doubt that many of you would be saying that she got what she deserved, shouldn't have got drunk etc.

That's the double standard.

The club took advantage of the fact that he wasn't as alert as he otherwise would be.

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2020 20:55

Is it 1982 again?

I think there’s just some weird buzzer that goes off when there’s an opportunity to stand up for a stupid man and they all hear it and come running.

bakedbeanzontoast · 27/01/2020 20:56

@greeneyedlulu I agree.

My mind boggles at what he managed to spend 7 grand on.

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2020 20:56

What way has the woman been taken advantage of Hooves?

Iamthewombat · 27/01/2020 20:58

If a gay woman had gone to the strip club on the same stag night, and the same thing happened to her, would you still say that she deserved it?

How about if she was ‘not in great shape’ and ‘thought she deserved a supermodel girlfriend’?

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 27/01/2020 20:59

What way has the woman been taken advantage of Hooves?

In the same way. Over charged or "encouraged" to run up a whopping bill.

siring1 · 27/01/2020 20:59

The senario is not comperable to rape.

But the principle of taking responsibilty for your own actions when you're drunk can be applied to lots of different situations.

Getting drunk and spending too much.
Getting drunk then driving
Getting drunk and sending your boss a rude email.
Getting drunk and saying yes to sex.

Do you agree?