Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feel sorry for colleague ripped off at strip club?

551 replies

Bibbiditybobbidy · 26/01/2020 23:00

30 year old colleague went to a well known strip club on a stag do, and woke up the next day with £7k missing from bank acct.
He was so drunk it appears he managed to spend all that without knowing. When he complained they sent him evidence of himself ( CCTV) at the bar authorising each transaction, times receipts etc
He parents have had to lend him ££ as he’s at his over draft limit and he’s paying them back.
He’s weeping and wailing about it but I just think he’s been an arse and should learn as lesson AIBU? He’s getting lots of sympathy about the ‘injustice’ of it in the office... but he's exactly the kind of guy to show off in front of his mates playing the big man, while he’s actually a bit of a beta male...I have NO sympathy for him, the little creep!

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2020 19:34

STOP EVERYONE! @siring1 IS DESPERATE FOR SOME ATTENTION!

Please stop what you’re doing and focus on @siring1 thanks

Whatisthisfuckery · 27/01/2020 19:36

And Hooves, the rules, don’t know if they’re law or not, against selling alcohol to people who are already drunk exist to preserve public order, not to protect irresponsible individuals from spending money they don’t have. They aren’t there to protect the individual. He could have just as easily got plastered at home and spent 7 grand online. If laws existed to prevent individuals from spending money they didn’t have we’d have no credit cards, and gambling would be illegal.

The law against raping people is to protect the public, from being raped.

karencantobe · 27/01/2020 19:36

Yes because men never rape women who are sober.

PanicAndRun · 27/01/2020 19:39

I'm not bending over backwards to stick up for a man.

Could've fooled me .

siring1 · 27/01/2020 19:40

Just pointing out double standeds Pumper.

Thanks for drawing more attention to my post!

Mammatino · 27/01/2020 19:41

I kind of thought everyone knew that strip clubs charge a fortune for drinks. If he hadn't been in there in the first place it wouldn't have happened to him. It's not a scam every licensed place must display prices... He kept going back to the bar so he must have know what the first round cost.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 27/01/2020 19:41

Where is the double standard?

I've explained countless times.

Do you have full capacity when drunk?

Are you able to make decisions in your own best interest when drunk?

Are you more vulnerable to being a victim of crime when drunk?

All of the above apply in this case and yet there are variations of "he deserved it" cropping up time after time. That's double standards.

The op describing him as a "beta male", whatever that might mean, and as an average looking man who goes after women out of his league as though that means he deserves to have been fleeced to the tune of £7k.

siring1 · 27/01/2020 19:43

Standards..

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 27/01/2020 19:44

And Hooves, the rules, don’t know if they’re law or not, against selling alcohol to people who are already drunk exist to preserve public order, not to protect irresponsible individuals from spending money they don’t have. They aren’t there to protect the individual. He could have just as easily got plastered at home and spent 7 grand online. If laws existed to prevent individuals from spending money they didn’t have we’d have no credit cards, and gambling would be illegal.

Well, they form part of the licensing laws and whether they are there to protect the public or society they exist and this club should abide by them or they should lose their licence.

Aridane · 27/01/2020 19:45

Shit - that's awful. I feel sorry for him / anyone semi-scammed / taken advantage of. And, no, I wouldn't be rubbing my hands with spiteful glee

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2020 19:45

(It was a joke @siring1 - I think it’s the only attention you’ll get sadly)

Whatisthisfuckery · 27/01/2020 19:45

There will be receipts, so if he thinks he was charged too much for the drinks he recieved he should take it further. There is CCTV after all.

It’s all quite straight forward really. If he was visibly pissed on CCTV then he has recourse. If he was charged 50 quid for a bottle of Stella that cost a 10th of that, which the CCTV will show him getting, he has recourse.

He’d have much less recourse if he’d been raped, ironically.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 27/01/2020 19:48

not to protect irresponsible individuals from spending money they don’t have.

Ok. So irresponsible parents who let their children run up thousand of pounds worth of bills on line gaming shouldn't get refunds either then? Because it's their own stupid fault that they left their device logged on or their cards within reach of children who could log on with them?

Whatisthisfuckery · 27/01/2020 19:52

If parents run up thousands of pounds worth of debt they don’t get refunds. If their cards are stolen they get refunds.

Whatisthisfuckery · 27/01/2020 19:54

And there are buyer protection laws for online purchases that you don’t get when buying a drink in the pub.

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2020 20:02

It’s not double standards because a woman in exactly the same scenario would get the same treatment. What you’ve tried to do, hooves, is suggest that this is comparable to a woman being raped. Which is the thing that’s made you look so stupid.

If he’d been raped in the club, absolutely nobody would say he deserved it. But spending too much money? That’s on him.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 27/01/2020 20:03

Their cards haven't been stolen though have they? They've just been silly enough to not log out of their on line accounts. Or in some cases have actually allowed the kids to use the cards and then got annoyed when the many thousands of pounds worth of bills turned up.

This should be like parking fines on private property - they shouldn't be allowed to be running some sort of racket, charging hundreds of times the going rate for drinks.

I wonder if the group he was with also got charged similar amounts too or was he paying for all of them?

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 27/01/2020 20:04

What you’ve tried to do, hooves, is suggest that this is comparable to a woman being raped. Which is the thing that’s made you look so stupid.

Nope. I've asked when are we considered incapacitated due to drink and therefore considered incapable of consenting.

NotTerfNorCis · 27/01/2020 20:06

I kind of feel that the club should have stopped him. If anyone is spending huge amounts of money while out of control (drunk in this case) then the responsible thing is to stop them. On the other hand, strip clubs are grim.

DuLANGMondeFOREVER · 27/01/2020 20:08

This is the aim of strip clubs, to fleece as much money out of each customer as is humanly possible.

It’s been this way since the 90s at least. Maybe since they began?

This man used to own several table dancing clubs in London (before Stringfellows and Spearmint Rhino etc)

Sagradafamiliar · 27/01/2020 20:10

Considered capable of consenting ....to sex! That's what you were saying, hooves.

Pumperthepumper · 27/01/2020 20:13

Nope. I've asked when are we considered incapacitated due to drink and therefore considered incapable of consenting.

So where’s the double standard? What are women consenting (or not) to, that is compatible with this situation?

siring1 · 27/01/2020 20:20

Having a lot to drink then saying yes to sex with a man she wouldn't have had sex with when sober.

siring1 · 27/01/2020 20:22

You did know that Pumper.