To not feel sorry for colleague ripped off at strip club?

[Bibbiditybobbidy]

30 year old colleague went to a well known strip club on a stag do, and woke up the next day with £7k missing from bank acct.
He was so drunk it appears he managed to spend all that without knowing. When he complained they sent him evidence of himself ( CCTV) at the bar authorising each transaction, times receipts etc
He parents have had to lend him ££ as he’s at his over draft limit and he’s paying them back.
He’s weeping and wailing about it but I just think he’s been an arse and should learn as lesson AIBU? He’s getting lots of sympathy about the ‘injustice’ of it in the office... but he's exactly the kind of guy to show off in front of his mates playing the big man, while he’s actually a bit of a beta male...I have NO sympathy for him, the little creep!

It’s absolutely possible that he was unaware of what was going on. I recently read an article about a man who was violently assaulted by security staff in a strip club as a tray of drinks was sent over to his table (that he did not order) and refused to pay. Tricks like this are often used in places like these and as he was intoxicated they most likely took advantage of this.

Everyone here celebrating this happening to the guy - you do realise the girls working there will have only seen a very small amount of this. It will all have gone into the owners pockets - the same owners you’ll all accuse of exploitation.

Im sure it has all been said but no, no sympathy.

Doing something yourself and having something done to you are two different things

Exactly. Surprised people are trying to justify his behaviour. He was fully capable of using his PIN number so he was hardly so intoxicated he didn't know what he was doing,

This is very low on my list of things to give a fuck about. I hope he's learned his lesson and stops being such a bellend.

The dancers will likely have seen a fair chunk of the cash. The dancers are invested in making money for themselves, that's their job, he will not have had the dancers with him for long if he was spending money on drinks, but not dancers.

They will have been encouraging him to have drinks and spend, but on them as well as alcohol. A pissed up, sloppy customer is no use to them if he's not spending on them. A pissed up sloppy customer is more likely to forget his pin or get it wrong and then their time (and investment) will be wasted. He's more likely to try and be handsy and touchy feely if he's bladdered. He's more likely to fall asleep, be sick on you, knock drinks over on you and be a liability if he's completely off his face meaning he's going to be taken out.

He can drink in any bar, the lure of strip clubs is the company and entertainment.

Surely the issue is whether he did consent though?

Why? How can you not consent to handing over your card time and time again (proof on cctv) and receiving the drinks/dances you pay for, in this example?

Not just handing over the card, but actually typing in your PIN.

Exactly, and he was using his pin. Clear on cctv.

Some people will excuse men of anything.

Why? How can you not consent to handing over your card time and time again (proof on cctv) and receiving the drinks/dances you pay for, in this example

Because typing 4 digits into a card machine doesn't mean you were with it enough to read the amount on the screen and check that it matches with what you were expecting to pay.

Again CCTV is only proof if it is a moving image, with sound, shows what you were charged for and for every transaction made.

As for receiving the drinks you paid for - if I order a bottle of stella, receive it but get charged £50 for it, did I receive what I paid for if the prices aren't clearly displayed?

As for receiving the drinks you paid for - if I order a bottle of stella, receive it but get charged £50 for it, did I receive what I paid for if the prices aren't clearly displayed?

Yes, you got what you paid for. You wanted a bottle of Stella, didn’t check the price, they brought your Stella, you paid for it, you drank it. The price was massively inflated but you still asked for it, paid for it, and got what you paid for.

Hearhooves, honestly, why do you bend over backwards to defend men on every thread in absolutely any scenario? Why do you make such distasteful 'comparisons'? How have you managed to make exploiting women and having a fun yet expensive time doing so= the same as being raped? It's just so disgusting.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras good quality, moving CCTV with sound is usually a strip club license requirement. It is there to protect the dancers, the staff, and to have proof of incidents.

Why would he be disciplined at work?

I guess it depends on the industry, some wouldn't think twice about disciplining this sort of behaviour but if he was, for example, a teacher, social worker or an employee of an organisation such as rape crisis/refuge and openly discussing this at work then I would imagine some serious conversations about values and professionalism would have to take place. And women are disciplined for much less at work...for example women commonly lose their jobs or are suspended if they are victims of 'revenge porn'

The best policy Hooves, is just to not put your penis into a woman who has consumed alcohol. That’ll clear everything up nicely

^

Sagradafamiliar

I'm not bending over backwards to stick up for a man. I'm just so sick of the double standards on this site.

If you've been scammed then that's wrong - regardless of whether you are a man or a woman.

If someone takes advantage of you while you are drunk then that's wrong regardless of whether you are a man or a woman.

The best policy Hooves, is just to not put your penis into a woman who has consumed alcohol. That’ll clear everything up nicely

Well, seeing as I don't have a penis it's not a choice I shall have to make

Yes I have worked in places where he would lose his job, and others where nobody would care.

Entering your pin isn't much proof of being sober, it's a pattern that can be entered without much thought, an automatic response to being handed the key pad.

But there is no double standard here, hooves. The scenario doesn't work the 'other way round' so to speak.

There is also no scam involved.

Raping a woman doesn't compare to a man being taken advantage of financially. There is no equivalent consent to spend law as there is sexual consent legislation. It's no comparison legally, or morally.

Being scammed is not like being raped. Being scammed is deception, being raped is when a man puts his penis into your body when you did not or cannot consent. HTH.

But there is no double standard here,

I disagree.
There is no equivalent consent to spend law as there is sexual consent legislation.

Maybe not but there is legislation that makes it illegal to serve alcohol to a drunk person.

Where is the double standard?

Tell me the double standard, then.

And how can that be compared to rape? Why would the thought even come about?

Well Hooves, the man in question has the footage from the club. If he genuinely believes he was pissed he should take it to the authorities. If he didn’t look pissed then the club weren’t to know.