To re-home cat over this

[Cloudsandrainbows]

Bit more WWYD than AIBU ...... We have a cat, unfortunate timing when we got him as a kitten as no one home all day, I was staying away with relatives and OH working, so think he wasn't socialised enough as a kitten maybe? Anyway several years down the line he is very affectionate but can still scratch and bite on occasion, mainly if provoked or playing. However he has bitten a friend's daughter, no one saw it happen, but was washed and put a plaster put on, however has become infected and the poor child has now got to have surgery to clean the wound and staying in hospital. I feel awful, I feel responsible, I feel guilty, but he has never hurt anyone this badly before. The parents seem ok, but not sure they would even say right now how they really feel about it as obviously concentrating on child in hospital. I have kids and worry what if he hurt them, but they love him and taking him away may cause more harm. WWYD? Do you think it was unfortunate accident? Would I be silly to consider rehoming our beloved pet over one bad experience in nearly 4 years? Or should I hands down just do it to protect my children, and somehow appease the parents of the child that has been hurt? What would you do in way of apology for this family, obviously already said sorry a thousand times, offered to take things to hospital if they need etc. Anyone got advice on cat behaviour?....could it be because they have a dog and he could smell their dog that made him feel threatened? Should or how can I punish him if he was to bite again? He is a house cat....has a run in the garden, but maybe is that not enough, should I let him out alone and risk him getting run over to give him more freedom to play and not be so wound up in the house?

No one saw it. Nobody saw what the child was doing to the cat. Even the most gentle animals will bite when properly provoked.

I wouldn’t regime over this one incident.

It's a cat. If they get hurt/ scared/ over excited they bite or scratch. That's how cats defend themselves.

You didn't see the lead up so you don't know how provoked the cat was. Just resolve to supervise interactions between your cat and other people, for your cat's sake.

I hope the little girl recovers soon.

Oof. I definitely would have an indoor cat for one thing. For another no pet should be left alone unsupervised with a child. No I wouldn't rehome but I definitely don't agree with the cat being indoor and the fact that the poor thing was left alone so much as a kitten really isn't fair so that definitely could have affected his socialisation.

If it was my child by the way I wouldn't really blame you, unless the cat had history and I wasn't told.

Please don’t panic or make a rash decision. Cats don’t often seek out and attack someone, unless that someone’s pee’d them off. Likeliest thing is that the cat was either playing with the child n got carried away or the child seen a sleeping cat n annoyed it and the cat naturally reacted.. unfortunately it hurt the child.

The wound was cleaned and dressed, I’m not sure how likely an infection from a cat bite is.. never been infected definitely been bitten personally.. but for it to need surgery surely it’s been quite a while since it started to show signs of infection.

Redirecting his prey drives maybe an idea.. loads of toys that stimulate him n tire him out instead of associating hands with play

You’re overthinking it. If you keep apologising again and again it becomes meaningless. Offer help if they need it then move on. You can’t change what happened.

How old is the girl that was bitten? If you weren't in the room could she have been cornering the cat/winding it up? Would seen harsh to rehome cat that was defending itself. Especially if this pis an isolated incident... I think just about every cat will bite/scratch whilst playing. Unfortunately yours has done it to a child who obviously has no experience of cat behaviours. I am not blaming the child and really hope she is ok but I think for a one off incident like this it's unfair to uproot the cat. As for managing behaviours I'm not sure but apparently there are plug ins that help calm them? To be honest though it doesn't sound like the cat needs anything like that but maybe a stern shouting at if it shows anymore aggression. Anymore serious incidents then yes, rehome.

You say he bites/scratches when provoked so I'm not sure you have a behaviour issue with your cat.

And no one knows what happened to cause him to bite the daughter

I wouldn't rehome for this. I would tell visitors not to play with or provoke the cat.

"no one saw it happen"

So no one was supervising the child and/or cat...?

I agree with the above. I let our cat outside when we have visitors, especially nieces and nephews as one of my Dnieces is always trying to lift and carry him which he hates. Our cat is very sociable and was used to having one of us at home at all times (we work shifts), but he still occasionally scratches.

Some cats just can’t cope with too much stimulation, so something that soothes them (like stroking) for a few minutes will suddenly overstimulate them, and they will bite. It is not at all uncommon. Just tell all children to leave the cat alone in future and it should not be a further issue.

Send flowers and balloons and wine and keep your kitty. It isn’t their fault.

When he was a kitten my nan became very ill and I had to go look after her until she passed away, it was not planned for him to be left alone,and I've always felt bad for it. He was very nippy as a kitten and bit, scratched us all, but kittens do that. The child is 4. I Have never had cause to supervise the cat, around my 4 year old, obviously did when she was younger but the kids were playing in their bedroom. My DS tells me he was on his scratching post, it's a huge floor to ceiling thing on the landing, and the other child put her hand out and he just bit her? Obviously how true that is and what happened before that I don't know. The parents say she is very into animals so maybe she was trying to play with him. I don't feel it is either the child or cats fault, but want other opinions? Within 12 hours of the bite the area had become swollen and red so it obviously took hold quickly. I just think if he was a dog I'd be told to put him down, and don't know how people feel/react to cat bites

I wouldn't rehome a cat for this. Cats have disgustingly dirty mouths and it's not uncommon for a bite to get infected. Who knows if your friend's DC was pulling its tail or whiskers or who knows what.

I would keep the cat and take precautions when small children are around (keep the cat in another room, warn kids and their parents, etc).

The wound was cleaned and dressed, I’m not sure how likely an infection from a cat bite is.. never been infected definitely been bitten personally.. but for it to need surgery surely it’s been quite a while since it started to show signs of infection.

I can't count the times I have been accidentally or deliberately scratched or bitten by my cats over the years. Cats are known for having filthy teeth and claws, but to get to the stage of needing surgery sounds crazy. How could anyone not realise waaay before that stage that the wound was infected or not healing properly?

Absolutely agree with previous posters. You’re over thinking it. No one saw what happened and cats are cats! They can’t be trained! But children can. They can be told to stay away, leave alone, don’t annoy....or there will be consequences...which there were.
I’m sorry for the little girl, but she will be fine. It’s one of those things and lesson learnt.
No way should the poor cat lose its home over it! I’m afraid I’m a firm believer in you commit to an animal for its lifetime.
You wouldn’t give your child away if he/she hit out at someone in self defence (or if they felt threatened, scared, annoyed) so you don’t give your cat (any pet!) up either.

You stand by it, you work with it, you respect it, give it space and you continue to love & take care of it, per your initial commitment.

I just think if he was a dog I'd be told to put him down, and don't know how people feel/react to cat bites

Well, the difference is that some dogs would be able to kill a child. I've never heard of a cat killing a child. Cats do have an enormous amount of bacteria in their mouths though, and this has probably caused the severe reaction.

Agree you shouldn't rehome your cat over this. Most probably was provoked which is why it reacted this way as it couldn't have bitten her unless she was in very close proximity! It's a cats natural instinct to bite when provoked or when they feel threatened, not because you left it alone as a kitten, and not something that should be punished. A cat will show signs that it wants leaving alone (tail wagging, ears back, swiping, meowing/hissing) so you need to learn to read these behaviours and teach your children (and their friends) to leave the cat alone when it starts displaying signs of irritation and depending on their age always supervise any interactions. It's unfortunate it's led to an infection and a hospital stay but that isn't anyone's fault and certainly not a reason to rehome your beloved pet. Animals have feelings too!

Am I meant to follow my child and cat around 24/7? Is this a parenting fail? Can't see how anyone can supervise 100% of the time especially with more than one child. Am I meant to shut the cat somewhere every time I leave the room if he's in it? Am I meant to take my kids to the toilet with me and make them follow me everywhere when I cook and clean? If he was a vicious cat, a) I wouldn't have him around my children, b) I certainly wouldn't have him around other people's children.

I would guess the child tried to pick up the cat. Not the cats fault. Do not over react.

I have a house cat. She’s lovely but gets excited and sometimes bites me in play - doesn’t usually leave a mark but on a kid with their thinner skin it could. House cats need a lot of attention and play as they aren’t getting it from being outside. Mine has an injured paw so can’t go out. Please don’t blame your cat!

I’d have it put down tbh.

Cats scratch and bite. Even the easiest going cat can get a bit bitey if they've had enough of just being stroked, let alone if someone hurts them.

No one was supervising, rather unwise, so perhaps the child, did something that the cat didn't like: pulled its ears, tried to hug it, hurt it in some way.

Cat scratches can become infected very easily; try googling cat scratch fever, it's not your fault. Stop apologizing and do not rehome your cat.

I would never have a house cat, I don't think it's fair, but you say the cat has access to the garden, so it's not as if the cat is confined within four walls.

It's an animal, an animal with sharp claws and teeth with which it is going to defend itself, or use in 'play'. You should never leave any animal alone with a child.

And no, you don't punish a cat. There is no punishment that is going to work with a cat, it's a cat. I can't for the life of me imagine what form you think this punishment could take. A cat has no understanding of the concept of 'doing the right thing'.

And as for shouting at it, all that will do is make it fearful of you.

I seem to just be falling on bad times at the moment, seems a very extreme result from a cat bite, perhaps just unlucky? I have not heard of surgery for a cat bite before but feel very upset for the child and family. I just hope it all heals ok? The cat is currently snuggled up with my DD he sleeps with her every night, she has ASD and would be devastated if he was to go, so I won't think anymore about it. He's staying where he belongs, but I will have to get him an outdoor house for when guests come. He doesn't go out if it's cold or wet. I keep his nails cut, but not much o can do about his sharp teeth! He is usually so tame, he will sit on my lap and tolerate all his nails being clipped and even tries to get in the bath with me, he's a bit mad, but we love him

I would definitely let your cat outside more. While I love my cat, he is unbearable if he can’t get outdoors. He burns his energy outside then just lies around sleeping when he comes in!

Still don't get this you should never leave an animal alone with a child?! Obviously not of a certain age, but what am I meant to do? Follow them around constantly, that's not humanly possible?