To re-home cat over this

[Cloudsandrainbows]

Bit more WWYD than AIBU ...... We have a cat, unfortunate timing when we got him as a kitten as no one home all day, I was staying away with relatives and OH working, so think he wasn't socialised enough as a kitten maybe? Anyway several years down the line he is very affectionate but can still scratch and bite on occasion, mainly if provoked or playing. However he has bitten a friend's daughter, no one saw it happen, but was washed and put a plaster put on, however has become infected and the poor child has now got to have surgery to clean the wound and staying in hospital. I feel awful, I feel responsible, I feel guilty, but he has never hurt anyone this badly before. The parents seem ok, but not sure they would even say right now how they really feel about it as obviously concentrating on child in hospital. I have kids and worry what if he hurt them, but they love him and taking him away may cause more harm. WWYD? Do you think it was unfortunate accident? Would I be silly to consider rehoming our beloved pet over one bad experience in nearly 4 years? Or should I hands down just do it to protect my children, and somehow appease the parents of the child that has been hurt? What would you do in way of apology for this family, obviously already said sorry a thousand times, offered to take things to hospital if they need etc. Anyone got advice on cat behaviour?....could it be because they have a dog and he could smell their dog that made him feel threatened? Should or how can I punish him if he was to bite again? He is a house cat....has a run in the garden, but maybe is that not enough, should I let him out alone and risk him getting run over to give him more freedom to play and not be so wound up in the house?

Just to agree with PPs that cat bites are always nasty, if the skin is punctured you must get immediate medical attention/ wash out and immediate antbiotics. They carry specific bacteria in their mouths and inject it in deeply. I remember this being one of the first things we were taught when I did A+E way back in the day. It's a pity it's not made more widely known to cat owners.

If you're cat is happy as an insurance cat, keep him indoors. I have 3 indoor cats and they are happy.

Give him lots of toys and distractions. Teach children how to play with cat by giving them one of those fishing rod toys. Or keep him away when you have guests over especially kids. Do you have a party of the house they can be confined to? For a short while it won't hurt. We stick ours in the conservatory of need be. They just sleep.

I feel sorry for the child but cat is also innocent. Perhaps watch some of that Jackson Galexy feat whisperer guy on YouTube to socialise the cat a bit better?

How many other high spaces does he have access to?

Reward him if he plays nicely but ignore if he gets rough.

Growing up my very gentle cat put up with a lot of shit from me trying to “huggle” her 🤣 and I got bitten and scratched far less than I actually deserved to be. The poor things just want to be left alone half the time! They won’t attack for no reason unless they are feral.

I can’t get over the fact you got a kitten when you weren’t even staying at home ..
That’s shitty .
Kittens need to learn from their owners or other cats so they know how to play safely and he missed this while part of growing up .
Also agree with those saying you didn’t see it , you didn’t see what the child did so to get rid of him is a nasty thing to do .
Poor cat

we have always had cats.
Alll our cats have been affectionate family pets.

All our cats have given me, on occasion, scratches and bites.
That is the nature of cats, they are not really trainable, they will scratch and bite when cornered scared, or full of the new Spring jumpies.

Cats' mouth sare notoriously dirty, cats them selves often get abscesses from bites fomr other cats if they have had a fight.
I strongly suspect that this girl's hand was left too long before the wnet for treatment/advice. I have had, as I said, many scratches and bites and you can quickly tell if it is healing or going sore. usually a good clean is enough to clear the infection. To get to the stage of needed surgery, how long and how sore was it before they got help?!

You seem to be applying the same rules to cats as to dogs, but you can't. cats will scratch, children need to knwo to leave them alone, you need to remove the cat from the room if small kids are there

I was reading an article on Quora today about how cats are driven by instincts and its quite easy for them to go from playing with us, as a kitten with a sibling or mother or cat colony, into prey behaviour within seconds because of a slight change in our behaviour.

Many cat owners know of petting aggression - one minute, we are stroking their belly, and the next minute, they have their front paws wrapped round our wrist, "ripping out the entrails" with their back legs...Cat owners usually get to recognise the warning signs and back off. A child might not recognise those warnings and persist in petting.....

I have lived with multiple cats all my life, and been scratched or bitten numerous times (because some cats are very grumpy), and I have never had an infection! I would not dream of getting rid of a cat for scratching anybody - that is how they are, and as Quora said, its why we don't keep lions and tigers as pets!

I DESPISE owners who fail their animals by not even bothering to do the bare minimum. They then abandon their animals when the inevitable happens (cause and effect) - resigning them to a life of possible abuse and neglect. They are living creatures who feel pain and happiness. How dare you.

You can’t leave children alone with any animal. They don’t read distress cues well and could easily have provoked the cat into biting them. It would be unreasonable to rehome a cat because you haven’t taken proper steps to supervise. Animals aren’t toys, I have two nervous cats and my DDs friends are told to leave them alone when they visit because I know they don’t like being petted.

I would put money on the child having tried to pick up the cat, or disturbed it when it was scratching the post. Cats don't just bite for no reason.

Don't rehome, it's one incident, it's fine. The girl will likely now have learned to leave the cat alone anyway. One hopes!

For future reference, it's usually adviced to get two kittens as then they play together and socialise each other. Not that you don't need to put in the work when they're small to teach them not to scratch etc, but it helps for if you're going to be out at work. Rehoming older cats and there should be just one (unless the cat in question needs to have a buddy, the rescue will know), but kittens do best in pairs (or threes).

You can't compare a cat with a dog, cats are domesticated to an extent but are still heavily reliant on their base instincts. My cat is the most gentle cat there is and has given my dc a warning bite when she has been a pest. She is friendly and lovely but gives strangers a wide berth, including young children as she doesn't know if they pose a threat to her. If she felt cornered and lashed out I wouldn't blame her. All children should be taught how to be cautious around even the most friendly of cats and dogs. My friends cat goes from loving a pet to instant bitey mode, she hisses at my dc so my dc stays away from her, quite rightly.

It is unfortunate that the dc got an infection but that isn't the fault of the cat. Only thing that can be done is to be more observant of your cats behaviour and triggers. There is only so much that you can socialise a cat but I would say at this stage your cats personality is set. You could try giving your cat more freedom or indoor exercise and creating a space so that your cat can hide from people, so it might be less likely to be stressed or lash out.

My cat bit someone in my home. Neither of us had even a thought of punishing the cat or re-homing or any Uchibori nonsense.

The person who was bitten had the food sense to go to the hospital immediately to get the bite properly dressed just in case. The parents of the child were negligent and plain foolish. I have been bitten (very small nip) by a friend's dog and got myself to a surgery just to be safe. Again, no one even thought I'd re-homing or punishing the dog.

What is wrong with people? The humans need to take responsibility and leave the pets, who are acting instinctively, in peace. These things happen and if treated promptly and intelligently, the little wounds heal very quickly.

Little children (esp under 7) should not be left unsupervised with other people's pets. Kids can be very cruel and intrusive. That your cat bit does not mean that it is vicious. It is a perfectly normal reaction from ANY cat.

Love and cuddle that sweet cat and please, no more talk of removing him from his home.

If you know cats can't be trained, and you know they can bite or scratch when provoked or simply when irked, and you also know you can't supervise your children and cat together all the time, why on Earth would you have a cat when you have children?

Uchibori = such

My cousin was bitten by my Nan’s old cat when she was three. She had been teasing it so definitely was asking for it. The cat was old and had a lovely nature but all cats can snap when provoked. Nobody witnessed it so it’s very possible she provoked the cat.

Oh and you really can’t train a cat...

Omg don't re home. As a kid our cat used to scratch us sometimes and cause some damage but we loved her. We would have been devastated if our parents got rid of her. These things happen when you have an animal, it's just unfortunate really.

Just set some boundaries from now on, visitors are not to go near the cat, simple.

You CAN teach a cat that they don't get cuddles if they're bitey/scratchy though. But only if it's a young cat. I consider that important 'training' for kittens, people who play rough with kittens because it's cute when their tiny claws can't really hurt anybody really shouldn't be surprised when their 8 year old cat shreds their entire arm one day.

You've got to be firm when kittens get bitey/scratchy in play. Quiet firm "No" combined with taking your hand away (when it's safe) and no more cuddles for a while. I've had cats for all of my 35 years and never had a problem with it.

Yabu.

Who knows if he was provoked into biting or not.

We have several cats and although fine most of the time they all have their moments. When our kids have had the odd scratch we’ve written it off as unfortunate and unusual.... also with suspicion that the kids may well have been teasing them.

I wouldn’t consider rehoming.

Caveat though - this is only teachable in play moments. Nothing will disuade a frightened/overwhelmed cat from lashing out with a 'boxing paw', claws or teeth, and frankly nothing should. A cat should be able to establish its own boundaries and be respected.

Uhm, you can train a cat. It just takes time and patience. A lot of each.

My daughter got bitten by our cat a few months ago. She readily admits she was teasing it and it wasn't the cats fault. The finger swoll up badly and she ended up on antibiotics. We haven't got rid of the cat. I would maybe start letting your cat out though. Our cats go mental when they aren't let out to run off some energy.

You can't punish cats.

Don't rehome him for this.

No doubt the child was poking the cat.

Hilarious all the excuses cat lovers are coming out with. OP has said the child was doing nothing, just reached out to the cat.

So much sympathy for the cat and so little for the victim - a child. MN is very odd sometimes. Or maybe it's just cat lovers who are odd.

Sounds as if the kitten was very young when you got it? I got my 2 when they were 13 weeks old, they should not be taken from the mother any earlier as it is the experience of playing with mother and siblings that teach the kitten what is acceptable behaviour regarding biting and scratching. I had 3 young children when I got the kittens and the cats are now 15 and 16 and honestly say neither of them has scratched or bitten any of us in all that time, they really are gentle giants. (British Shorthairs)

Maybe your kitten has not been socialised correctly?