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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think everyine has forgotten about next Frìday?

515 replies

malificent7 · 26/01/2020 08:55

Brexit isn't it? Im a remainer and i feel ok about it...at least my hysteria has died down. What about the rest of you?

OP posts:
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AngelinaGrimke · 26/01/2020 17:52

if it all fails it will be blamed on Remainers for committing thought-crimes

Grin Sadly, you're not wrong there Hoik

Nonnymum · 26/01/2020 17:54

What are you celebrating?
I would like to ask that too because I've never heard of one actual tangible benefit of leaving or how leavers lives will get better.

Nonnymum · 26/01/2020 18:07

how do you think your children’s future will be negatively impacted by Brexit?
My DD is married to an EU citizen so it will have a very negative impact on her and already has Because my SiL no longer feels welcome in the. UK.
Also generally our children will no longer have the automatic right to live, work and study in 27 other countries. I think that's a huge negative impact.

TheresWaldo · 26/01/2020 18:17

I will be applying this week for a 2nd nationality. I am mainly doing this to protect my daughter's future. I am furious and sad about the whole thing. I get the point about the EU not being perfect, but whatever we will have to trade with them, and now we no longer get a say. We have lost important rights and opportunities for absolutely nothing. It all comes down to xenophobia and racism in my view. There is no other reason.

Livelovebehappy · 26/01/2020 18:35

Looking forward to us being out of it, but I won’t be celebrating as whilst i’m happy it’s happening at last, I hate that Brexit has brought out the very worst in people - the vitriol and viciousness. The vindictiveness displayed by our MPs during the voting prior to the election has been a disgrace, and I think everyone needs ‘healing’ time to get rid of the divisions and reunite the country again.

Notthissh1tagain · 26/01/2020 18:37

Since the election I have thought about it a lot less and it's been a good thing.

I still think we are making a big mistake but it is what it is.

Snowy111 · 26/01/2020 18:56

The vindictiveness displayed by our MPs during the voting prior to the election has been a disgrace

Are you talking about the ERG?

Or Boris not voting for TMs deal?

WhereShallWeMoveTo · 26/01/2020 19:01

Also generally our children will no longer have the automatic right to live, work and study in 27 other countries. I think that's a huge negative impact.

I honestly think people are getting far too hung up on this. We don't have the automatic right to live, work or study in any of the other 168 countries outside of the EU either, yet plenty of us manage to do exactly that and in many cases they emigrate permanently.

According to the European Commission 'the number of people residing in European Union (EU) Member States with citizenship of a non-member country on 1 January 2018 was 22.3 million, representing 4.4 % of the EU population.'

That's 22.3 million people living IN THE EU right now, who do not are not nationals of an EU country.

That bears repeating so I'll repeat it.. 22.3 million people.

If your children have a skill set to offer an EU country that is needed and welcomed then I'm sure they will be able to live and work wherever they wish. Similarly the children of the EU will be welcomed here with the relevant skills or qualifications.

WhereShallWeMoveTo · 26/01/2020 19:03

We are ending free movement, not rebuilding the Berlin Wall for goodness sake.

ilovesooty · 26/01/2020 19:07

If I want to feel deeply unhappy about leaving the EU I have a right to do so. I don't even have to give headspace to leave voters who can't be content to have got what they voted for but need to minimise the concerns and feelings of remain voters.

WhereShallWeMoveTo · 26/01/2020 19:09

I would like to ask that too because I've never heard of one actual tangible benefit of leaving or how leavers lives will get better.

I'm SO tired of hearing people say this. People have been asked repeatedly to list the tangible benefits in their view. They tell Remainers what they beleive are the benefits, Remainers ignore it because they disagree that it's a benefit, or just don't want to accept that it might be, so they ask the question all over again saying with wide eyed innocence 'I've yet to hear a Brexiteer give me one good reason...'

It's like flipping ground hog day.

lljkk · 26/01/2020 19:14

I don't know What is Ending, tbh.
The future UK-EU relationship looks as very uncertain as ever.

I wanted to retire to Spain but am fairly sure that won't be feasible, now. Then again, maybe I'll win the lottery & all will be feasible. Goodness knows.

Blibbyblobby · 26/01/2020 19:14

@MasakaBuzz

Pt 2 :)

My baseline assumption with politicians regardless of hue is when they open their mouths they are lying.

Ah ok. I don't. I think most of them do get into it with genuine intentions (other than Boris but that's a whole other post). Unfortunately, politics has become so combative that they have to keep fighting to get/stay in power in order to effect any changes, and since any tiny weakness including acknowledging genuine complexity and the need to compromise sometimes is seized by the opposition they quickly descend into spin. But for MOST of them, I think they are generally spinning what they see as true, not telling outright lies. The deception is in what they chose not to say.

Sadly however someone can tell the truth as they see it and still be 100% wrong.

So I think on the Brexit side you had genuinely mendacious parties mostly outside UK politics (the Russian and US alt-right trolls, the pro-Brexit media), and a bunch of useful fools who could be conned into acting against the UK people's interests because they were blinded by ideology (Rees-Mogg, Cummings), jingoism (Francois) or ego (Farage, Johnson)

On the Remain side, you had arrogance and naivety. As Remain saw it, the economic case against Brexit was solid and everyone in the UK could see some benefit due to the EU (eg clean local beaches, roaming charges, an EU-funded local centre), so when the Scottish ref (where let's face it, the passions had been running true and deep for centuries, in stark contrast to the media-whipped froth against the EU that only surfaced outside the Tory party in the mid 00s) came down for the status quo I think it reassured Cameron that voters would be pragmatic and sensible when it came to the crunch. Remain were coming from the old-style "economical with the truth" politics and they just weren't expecting to deal with outright lies like the Leave facebook ads.

I don’t see Brexit as the country moving into the sunny uplands where everything is going to be perfect and Bulldogs are going to run free amongst us. I think it’s going to be difficult, and the benefits will take many years to come. However I do think there will be benefits eventually.

There will be benefits for some certainly, but I just don't think Britain alone has the economic clout to maintain our standard of living against the economic pressures from Asia and Africa. Look at Wuhan - a city the size of London that most of us have never even heard of! All over India, South East Asia and China, the populations are industrialising and urbanising, and because for them it's an upward move, they accept low wages and low living and consumer standards that we would not. Africa's coming next. Those are the people UK will be competing with on the global stage, not Polish builders. The EU, second largest economy in the world, has the clout to say "hey, you want to sell in our market, you meet our standards". The UK alone, not so much. So the small number of people who place themselves to benefit from the new low-standard, high import economy will do well. The rest of us won't. Remember before "EU workers steal our jobs" it was "Japanese imports steal our jobs"? Yeah, that's where we are going.

The Referendum on the E.U. shouldn't have been in 2016. It should have been before the Maastricht Treaty was signed. It was at that point that the Common Market became the EU, and the direction of travel became apparent.

I agree, that would have been a better time. I also think it would have been for Remain. There was nothing like the poison then that's been dripped into the public ear since. And if the worst had happened and we had been taking out then, at least that odious duplicitous toad Farage wouldn't have had an opportunity to trouser an MEP salary and pension while failing to represent the fishing industry he claims so much affinity with!

I am not comfortable with the lack of democratic accountability of the EU. Covered in part 1.

I also don’t see that The EU actually benefits the poorer in our society. The influx of Eastern European workers has forced wages down (It’s a basic supply and demand issue).

I do have sympathy, but it's complex. First is the point that the UK under EU rules could have applied more restrictions than we did. So we can't lay it wholly on the EU here.

Another thing that is not said enough is that we can't have a free market without freedom of movement, because if the cheap workers stay in one place, the jobs move. So given the free market (which typically Brexiteers say they want - "we thought we were joining a trade union"- we do also need freedom of workers to move around.

The critical thing to understand here (and again it's part of that "an economy is not a household budget" thing) is that yes, while supply and demand is relevant, it's not a zero sum, "one worker comes to the UK, one job is taken from a native British worker" thing. Those people are taking jobs in the UK but they are also spending in the UK which in turn supports other UK jobs and tax, whereas if the jobs had moved out of the UK altogether that spending would also disappear.

I appreciate that benefit doesn't really mean much to the people who think their wages/prospects have suffered from immigration, but I think if the jobs had left the UK altogether the country would be suffering more. And if we weren't part of the single market, a lot of jobs wouldn't exist in the first place.

All of those workers also need housing, education and health care. I think it has placed stresses on our infra structure, that wasn’t planned for. It doesn’t effect the political elite. They won’t be on waiting lists for operations or housing.

Yes, I agree, but that's an ideological decision by the UK government, not something the EU told us to do. We could and should have invested.

It is however worth noting that the areas that have most concerns about the impact of immigration are generally not the ones that actually have the most immigrants. So perhaps some of this is (media-driven?) fear of what could happen rather than lived experience.

I don’t have children, but I truly feel for the youngsters I know - the less academic ones who are struggling to find work that pays enough for decent housing and to raise a family.

I totally sympathise, but I think this is due to Austerity (which is basically a failure of the UK government to invest in the UK population) and Brexit will only make it worse Sad

malylis · 26/01/2020 19:15

We are limiting the right of people to move to work in the EU. Listing numbers of non EU citizens living in the EU doesn't mean its going to be easier for UK citizens.

oblada · 26/01/2020 19:16

Weshallwemoveto - are you an immigrant? Because if not I'm not sure you realise the actual implications.

I moved to the UK to study some 17yrs ago. I met my now husband then. He's an Indian national. We decided to stay in the UK.

I can assure you the administrative nightmare he's gone through for visa purposes (to stay in the UK and indeed also to visit my family in France) is not at all something I'd compare to my own experience of staying here. I just...well stayed! Studied, got a job, got a life. Easy!

In the end (after a few various visas etc) whilst he would have qualified for a highly skilled migrant visa we decided that it was easier to do a spouse of EU national. For one it was free (the alternative was far from free)!

So no I don't think you realise the difference between free movement in the EU and general migration rules.
(Also - 4percent is actually quite a small number and much more appropriate to use - and repeat - than 23millions, which means nothing unless full context is given)

I for one am glad that my children will retain that right to move to another EU country with ease, but through their French nationality. And as they also have British nationality, they've lost nothing.

malylis · 26/01/2020 19:18

Oh and the stuff about pressure on infrastructure is just utter bunkum. Its an appeal to common sense which doesn't work when considered as a group EU citizens are net contributors to the exchequer, and falling immigration from the EU does not reduce demand for services but does reduce tax revenues.

theunknownknown · 26/01/2020 19:19

Whatever we voted or wanted this is not the way to heal wounds. If you have fallen our with people you care for then I feel very sorry for you. For the five millionth time I am not a rascist and immigration did nott influence my vote to leave. I am not and never had gloated about the result. I am sad that you are continuing in this vein
Don't be sad, just do the decent thing and get to the back of the food bank and NHS queues. And be the first to put your hand up when the redundancies come. Own your shit.

thecatsabsentcojones · 26/01/2020 19:21

I’ve not forgotten but I’m resigned to it now. I don’t think cutting ourselves off economically and self imposing trade restrictions is going to do us any good whatsoever. Logically I just can’t see any upside to that. But I’d be ecstatic to be proved wrong as it means my children can grow up and enter a secure economy.

On Friday I’m properly ending Dry January. We are going to hit it hard and have a massive bonfire onto which Brexit effigies will burn. It’ll be very Wickerman but I think Farage, Johnson, Rees-Mogg and Cameron have absolutely scuppered this country for no other reason than tax avoidance and the ability to remove hard won employment and human rights. So there will be no guilt about burning effigies of the fuckers.

BurneyFanny · 26/01/2020 19:26

It would be great to hear reasons for leaving that couldn’t be debunked with ten seconds on Google.

WhereShallWeMoveTo · 26/01/2020 19:59

We are limiting the right of people to move to work in the EU. Listing numbers of non EU citizens living in the EU doesn't mean its going to be easier for UK citizens.

I didn't say it would be easier for UK citizens. But it won't be any harder for us than any other non EU nationals will it?

Likewise there are plenty of UK citizens living and working in non-EU countries throughout the world. Granted it's not quite as easy as just pitching up in Spain or France with a few boxes tied to the roof of your car and saying 'Right, I've decided I live here now' but it's still perfectly possible with the right skill set.

I can assure you the administrative nightmare he's gone through for visa purposes (to stay in the UK and indeed also to visit my family in France) is not at all something I'd compare to my own experience of staying here. I just...well stayed! Studied, got a job, got a life. Easy!

Oblada yes I understand that it is a very different process and frankly that is something I welcome. I think that freedom of movement has been a disaster in many respects and I am happy to see it go. I see the curtailment of my FoM into EU countries a small price to pay to have FoM removed for all EU nationals into the UK.

I am not an immigrant in the UK, I am British. But I did live and work for many years in a non-EU country so I understand about working visas, residents permits that need renewing every couple of years, company sponsorship etc, etc. I've done it. And we didn't have the right to just stay for good in that country either.

I also own a holiday home in an EU country so I will obviously be inconvenienced by the 90 in 180 day Schengen rule for visiting the EU, but because we did not wish to be fiscally resident there we were never going to stay for more than 180 days in a year anyway.

contentedsoul · 26/01/2020 20:00

Not forgotten
Made me smirk when I read on the BBC News App that EU could impose sanctions on the UK.

malylis · 26/01/2020 20:01

Its much more difficult to get a Visa to work in the EU than it is to move under freedom of movement.

It also means that UK nationals are less likely to get jobs in the EU.

WhereShallWeMoveTo · 26/01/2020 20:05

It would be great to hear reasons for leaving that couldn’t be debunked with ten seconds on Google.

Well I've just given one in my last post. For a variety of reasons I am relieved that we will soon see an end to see the end of Freedom of Movement and the introduction of an Australian points style system.

Even though I will be personally inconvenienced by it, I don't base my feelings on self interest alone.

That's not something you can just debunk by googling I'm afraid.

MarshaBradyo · 26/01/2020 20:09

I’m wondering if it will be underwhelming for people who have been really looking forward to it. How much will change for the better on a real day to day level.

We’ve got new coins coming out there’s that.

It is good not to hear about it all the time though. I doubt much that happens that is negative will be attributed to Brexit by the media anyway.

caringcarer · 26/01/2020 20:13

Can't wait. Having a bit of a Brexit party here so getting champagne in. Can't wait to get new Brexit coin.

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