To have blocked the CF?

[Sparklfairy]

I've been seeing a guy for about 4 months. He works a 'normal' job and I work from home, freelance, long and anti social hours. It's not uncommon for me to work overnight, sleep pattern all over the place etc. I've had to put my foot down before with regards to him assuming that because I work for myself that I can have time off whenever I he want(s).

He was supposed to come over last night, but I cancelled due to running late on a work deadline. Said we could do something today in the day. It was left that he would call me in the morning and jokes were made about me likely being dead asleep if it was early and not hearing it etc.

At 6.30 this morning I woke to my phone buzzing. I saw it was him and ignored it, as had only got to bed a couple of hours before.

Then my doorbell buzzed.

I was annoyed that he just rocked up at my house (15 miles from his) at 6.30am with no prior warning. My phone kept ringing so I decided to ignore it. He continued to ring the doorbell, long sustained buzzing 10-12 seconds.

I keep my window which faces the road open most of the time (first floor flat). He shouted through the window "ALEXA! TURN BEDROOM LIGHT ON!" which of course she did. Okay, annoying but maybe, just maybe he was kidding around and didn't think it would work.

Then he shouts, "ALEXA! SET ALARM FOR FIVE MINUTES"

I lost it then. I went to the window, said, 'Well you can fuck off', slammed it shut and locked it.

He then continued to ring me and buzz my doorbell until I threatened to call the police. He then resorted to just yelling up at me from the street

I'm so utterly bewildered that he thinks any of this is normal!? I've blocked him and very firmly told him to fuck off. He's texted saying that I said he could come round (not at 6.30 unannounced I fucking didn't) and if I was clearly asleep why did he think it was okay to force me to wake up? What the fuck.

I've blocked him and never want to speak to him again (but of course am still furious so don't know if it's that). Starting to think maybe I was too harsh...?

I also read the part where he joked the day before that if she were dead asleep she wouldn't hear him ring. Why can't it be that he buzzed repeatedly because he got no response and thought she hadn't heard? And after driving 15 miles wanted some response. If so, yes he clearly doesn't understand boundaries but to accuse him of being a controlling maniac is over cooked IMO.

So you admit he knew she would be asleep yet did it anyway. Just why would anyone go to someone's house at fecking 6.30 in the morning especially to wake them up? Who the hell does that?
The whole point is that he had agreed on calling her later in the day to arrange a meet up. He had no reason to be there whether he drove 15 miles or 50. He knew op would be asleep yet he still did it and kept at it until he woke her up.
That along with all the other times he has tried to tell op how to live her life, practically moving himself in, ignoring her telling him she was working and still disturbing her at home, telling her how to have her own hair and that she should move house to suit him within 4 month's of seeing her!!! They all point to controlling behaviours.

None of it comes out or a normal wish to spend time with some one. He shouldn't need to be told that op isnt there for his convenience he is an adult. He should recognise boundaries.

He doesn't want to listen to her at all why waste more time on him?

JurassicParkaha this is not the same guy. You now look like a dick.

HTH

Adults know that repeatedly ringing on someone's doorbell at 6:30am and shouting at them in the street outside their window is inappropriate behaviour. They really don't need someone to sit down and explain that to them.

Itsalready it was only "name come on let me in, just give me five minutes" etc etc

And I would bet, if OP comes back, that this bloke doesn't normally get up this early on a Saturday, so to be there at 6:30 am means he had to have got up about 5:30.

I mean, yes I'm still here, but it is quite scary to read things like this. He doesn't get up at 5.30 any other day of the week so you are right that he deliberately got up early to come here and do this today

The number of people on here who feel that, by getting up at an ungodly hour and driving 15 miles, this obsessive guy somehow earned the right to be let in and given a hearing by a woman who, as he well knew, had pulled an all-nighter and was just into deep, refreshing sleep is disturbing.

Are men and their overweening demands really so much more important than women's lives and autonomy?

We are told that this man thinks working from home means OP should be ready to drop everything and give him her hospitality and attention 24/7, fitting around his schedule.

OP had said he could get in touch 'later in the day' which rationally means the afternoon. In no way is 06.30 'later'. It's marginally later than sparrowfart, but not much!

Who could possibly justify his behaviour? It's stalkerish and entitled.

Lucky he didn't have a key

To all those defending him - if a woman displayed this sort of behaviour, she'd be called a bunny boiler.

Who in their right mind thinks that 06:30am is acceptable time for anyone? My 1yr old kid doesn't even get up before 07:30. Christ it's still pitch black outside.

The constant calls/text from a distance would be enough to drive me insane and dump him.

I suspect matey boy thought you ditched him for another bloke and wanted to catch you in the act. I genuinely can't think of any sane explanation for this behaviour. Seriously OP you're well within your rights to ditch him.

At only 4 months in, this is completely in "dump the weirdo asap" territory. OP, I'm glad you did, but as others have said, be careful in case he isn't done with you yet and tries to push his way back into your life.

@sparklfairy I didn't say it was the same guy. Was obvious it was different. You went out with that guy for a year (this guy 4 months) and he dumped you by blocking. You then posted about another guy (the drunk driver) who ended things by blocking....

Clearly them blocking you touched a nerve, because you posted about it and mentioned that detail (in which case don't dump this guy by blocking but by telling him), or don't date guys where the end result is blocking. It IS possible to end relationships without blocking..

I always wonder why people search posters previous messages to bring up on a new thread. Searching to see if someone is a troll I can understand. But then posting it?? Weird

I always wonder why people search posters previous messages to bring up on a new thread. Searching to see if someone is a troll I can understand. But then posting it?? Weird

I agree

Why can't it be that he buzzed repeatedly because he got no response and thought she hadn't heard? And after driving 15 miles wanted some response.

Why would you be alarmed because someone doesn't respond to the doorbell at 6.30 a.m., especially when you know they've been working very late? And driving 15 miles doesn't automatically entitle you to a response at that hour.

He could have wanted a cuddle in the morning (my bf comes over after a night shift - when I'm sleeping just to cuddle for a few hours or we'd hardly see each other) or to make you breakfast or anything really. You wouldn't know as you didn't ask him, your refusal made him increasingly desperate and crazy.

Oh God. There’s two of them. 🙄

The selfish bastard. Cunt of the highest order.

I work permanent nights. Mornings are my evening. I get in from my manual job at 6.15am after a 30 minute walk home. I cook, clean, watch TV and have a glass of wine. I go to bed around 9am. I wake up naturally around 4-5pm.

My phone is switched off in the day. I do not have kids. Blinds down. Friends know not to contact me in the day. The times I have had people say 'Can I ring you at eleven am? I take it you will be up then?'. No I will be fucking sleeping you prick.

Oh and the arseholes who say 'If I worked until 05.45am I would go straight to bed when I get in'. Do you go to bed at 6pm when you get in from your office job? Of course you don't!

An absolute shit. I would unblock him and ring him at 2am. That is what I do to people who disturb me in the day after repeated request not to do!

Jurassic. The OP doesn’t owe you any explanation so stop stalking her past threads. You’re getting to sound as bad as the ex BF.

@alexambidextera the OP is a grown ass woman. She asked for opinions on a public forum. I'm sure she can decide what she agrees with and what she doesn't. She can just ignore my comments, as I'm sure she will, and that doesn't bother me at all.

However, I do wonder at the psyche of the other people who get so riled up at comments from strangers that aren't directed at them, have nothing to do with them. A lot of rage clearly that is misdirected but I appreciate the minutes of your life you chose to spend on me x

A lot of rage clearly that is misdirected

😂. Rage? Don’t kid yourself. That would require energy.

He didn't just call or turn up though, he shouted up to make the lights in someone else's house turn on to wake the person living inside up to force them to interact with him! That is creepy and weird.

Would it have been ok to shine a blink torch at her sleeping face through the window or blare music through the letterbox because those are just as odd?

Jurassic i have no words other than I'm clearly due a name change

Forget the daily fail - anyone else wondering how long before this scenario (indeed as well as calling out random Alexa commands walking past open windows at sny time) turn up in assorted soaps, comedies, rom coms and novels...

(Sorry op, not wishing to minimise the utter knobbishness of your now-ex for doing this but it would be such a great scene to have for comedy value as well as neatly illustrating his controlling behaviour).

(And I cant believe that knobbishness seems to be a real word - well in so far as autocorrect hasn’t squeaked anything!).

wibdib I'm now thinking of someone doing a prank type show walking down a street with a megaphone saying ALEXA TURN ON ALL THE LIGHTS

Prank show
“ALEXA, MAKE FART NOISES!”

A favourite of my darling, darling children

What a tosser!