To have blocked the CF?

[Sparklfairy]

I've been seeing a guy for about 4 months. He works a 'normal' job and I work from home, freelance, long and anti social hours. It's not uncommon for me to work overnight, sleep pattern all over the place etc. I've had to put my foot down before with regards to him assuming that because I work for myself that I can have time off whenever I he want(s).

He was supposed to come over last night, but I cancelled due to running late on a work deadline. Said we could do something today in the day. It was left that he would call me in the morning and jokes were made about me likely being dead asleep if it was early and not hearing it etc.

At 6.30 this morning I woke to my phone buzzing. I saw it was him and ignored it, as had only got to bed a couple of hours before.

Then my doorbell buzzed.

I was annoyed that he just rocked up at my house (15 miles from his) at 6.30am with no prior warning. My phone kept ringing so I decided to ignore it. He continued to ring the doorbell, long sustained buzzing 10-12 seconds.

I keep my window which faces the road open most of the time (first floor flat). He shouted through the window "ALEXA! TURN BEDROOM LIGHT ON!" which of course she did. Okay, annoying but maybe, just maybe he was kidding around and didn't think it would work.

Then he shouts, "ALEXA! SET ALARM FOR FIVE MINUTES"

I lost it then. I went to the window, said, 'Well you can fuck off', slammed it shut and locked it.

He then continued to ring me and buzz my doorbell until I threatened to call the police. He then resorted to just yelling up at me from the street

I'm so utterly bewildered that he thinks any of this is normal!? I've blocked him and very firmly told him to fuck off. He's texted saying that I said he could come round (not at 6.30 unannounced I fucking didn't) and if I was clearly asleep why did he think it was okay to force me to wake up? What the fuck.

I've blocked him and never want to speak to him again (but of course am still furious so don't know if it's that). Starting to think maybe I was too harsh...?

Absolutely a fucking idiot! Well done you!

My ds has dropped a good hey Siri at a group of school mates all in the middle of a game.

Drive by iCarnage

I’d be cross if my DH woke my up at 6.30am on a Saturday morning and he shares a bed with me!

“I think it sounds funny if you really liked him that much you’d of seen the funny side and let him in gone back to bed together“

Agree.

How many people go to someone's house at 6.30am Betty? You're twisting yourself in knots trying to make out this guys behaviour is ok.

What an absolute knob, how dare he!

Deliberately inconveniencing someone else for your own gain, pleasure or entertainment is not okay. It's not fun, sweet, cute, romantic or funny.

Well done op, brilliant advice and guidance from lots of posters and a few worrying comments from others. Have standards everyone and never settle for what doesn't seem right and respectful.

Is there not a chance he didn’t appreciate you were up until 4am on a Saturday morning working? I don’t know many people who work those hours.

So what if you don't know many people who work those hours? He does. He knows she works odd hours. There are many, many, many jobs that are not 9-5, M-F UK time, it's a global economy now. He knows he's disturbing her. Not everyone can just get back to sleep after being woken, either.

BettyAll1 You're trying find reasons to excuse this behaviour, or to twist this into something nice. It isn't.

This man knows what OP does for a living, so there's no excuse of "maybe he didn't realise". He'd been told OP needed to work, and there's absolutely no reason to go round unannouced to wake someone up that early. Boyfriend or not, I'd shoot the bastard who did that to me.

I left an abusive relationship after 30 years, and this kind of controlling behaviour was common. You need to raise your standards.

Absolute nutter!

Massive red flag for a controlling, entitled, selfish bastard further down the line.

Well rid! Don’t accept any excuses or apologies as he knows fine what he was doing.

What a knob. You are well rid.
He doesn't respect your boundaries.
Some people on here are saying they'd let their boyfriend in but that's up to them. OP had already explained she had to work late and they'd agreed that he would ring in the morning.
Cheeky bastard decides to rock up at her front door at 6.30 am and phone her from there and then start ringing the doorbell and then starts pissing about with Alexa. That is disrespecting the OP's boundaries.
There have also been issues with him not understanding/taking on board the kind of work she does. I am a freelance translator (amongst other things) and sometimes I'll be up until 2 or 3 am getting things finished before a deadline or simply because I work better at night or I have had other work to complete during the day. If a partner couldn't respect my need not to be woken at 6.30 am they'd be history too.

I had issues with the ex I was living with regarding this. If he had to get up to go to work he'd make as much noise as possible. It's a way of exerting control and showing how important they are. Their needs trump yours etc.

Good bloody riddance OP.

OP, you have his text saying he won't contact you until or unless you contact him. MN's money, I think I speak for the bulk of us, is on that proving untrue. Personally I give him 48 hours tops before he tries to get in contact; likely to be within 24.

Sit on your hands, have your weekend, wait and see. On no account be tempted to contact him or reply to anything that could be from him. He's much rather be yelled at than ignored.

Stay safe, stay sane, stay NC.

Oh, and OP? 'Moved back in with parents after a breakup' translates as ' lives with parents between brief spells of conning his way into women's homes.'

You are better of rid of him. I had one like that and didn't notice at first. It was a relative that pointed out I was living my life around him...

On another note- I've just tried to get Alexa to make me a coffee too. Lazy sod said exactly same as yours! I guess "let crazy boyfriends give you irrational commands" is an in built setting...

He's an absolute nut job!

But the Alexa stuff had me howling! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You and Alexa need to have a serious chat about the sisterhood.

And he needs to stay binned!

I'd be furious if some guy i'd only been seeing for 4 months woke me up like that. Thats definitely not "normal" behaviour and at 6.30am? He can fck right off.

Good riddance!

The worst thing for me would be his utter disregard for your neighbours and the prospect of embarrassing you in front of your neighbours.
I had an ex who loved nothing more than shaming me in front of people (neighbours). E.g. beating me out on the front lawn, and shouting for the neighbours to come and see me now.

This is a massive humongous sparkling neon red flag and you need to block him entirely.
Despicable behaviour and an omen of things to come.

In all seriousness - get rid completely - today - forever.

I think his behaviour was definitely very odd. However, if this was someone you really liked or were invested in, you would have politely told him you were sleeping, you'd call him when awake instead of ignoring him and threatening to call the police. And would have discussed boundaries later. He could have wanted a cuddle in the morning (my bf comes over after a night shift - when I'm sleeping just to cuddle for a few hours or we'd hardly see each other) or to make you breakfast or anything really. You wouldn't know as you didn't ask him, your refusal made him increasingly desperate and crazy.

So for the best really as (a) your schedules are too different and would take a lot of compromise for both of you (b) if after 4 months it ends so brutally, there wasn't enough affection there anyway.

Of course YANBU - but the Alexa bit is inspired and demented genius

I don’t have an Alexa and if random people can shout instructions to it from the street I have no intention of getting one!

FFS it's bad enough you would condone this, PP, and let him in and let him use shag you but OMG it is would HAVE not would OF.

OP go you and I love the way you write.

@Sparklfairy when he was shouting in the street, was he angry/aggressive/bad language or something like "ah please let me in"?
I really can't understand people saying that they would have no issue and you must not have liked him to not find it funny or whatever. On what planet, unless previously arranged or the norm after night shift, is it ok to turn up to someones home at 630AM and purposely wake them knowing they're likely asleep and not expecting you. How and why was he up that early on a weekend, having to travel too...fuckin doodle
Hope you're ok and managed to get some more sleep.
@PatellarTendonitis. Would you be able to copy the link to that other thread you mentioned, haven't seen it. X

As a side note, can we have a thread-wide pact of silence around the Alexa thing? Otherwise if anyone tells their kids, the twat has just invented the modern version of knock-door-run as a plague on society ready for when the evenings draw on and it gets warmer. 😂

You were restrained. In those circumstances boiling oil was called for.