Private school or property?

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Current debate with dh about what’s best for dc.

Private school is an expensive thing these days so for those who send your dc to a private school, do you think it’s worth the investment? What iyo makes it worth the cost and why?

Dh thinks private school is the only way forward for our dc as he was privately educated, but I’m not 100% convinced due to the cost. We can afford it without it affecting our lifestyle but it wouldn’t leave much to save. We have decent investments so don’t currently need to put money away for a rainy day.

However, AIBU to think that as long as we get a good state school for our dc and are prepared to pay for extra curriculars, tutoring if necessary etc., they would benefit more from getting a property? Currently it would cost 200k for each dc so with fee rises over the years, I think 250k overall is a conservative estimate. That in our area would buy a nice 2 bed flat which imo would set them up for life after uni.

Depends on so much - you kid’s personality and skills, the particular school, your own ability/confidence to help your kid out with school work. Personally I would go state and top up with tutors or go part time so I could help the kids myself - but I’m relatively confident in the curriculum and homework help etc.

That contradicts what I’ve read on here though where someone has said state primary and then private secondary. Any thoughts on this?

Re; OP’s question above, I think this depends vastly on where you live in the UK. In areas where there’s selective Grammar schools operating, a lot of parents will be sending their children to Prep schools to help them gain a place at these schools. I know this is very common with the West Kent Schools, where the majority of students entering the high performing Grammars are from the local Preps.

I think parents should fund their kids through university before paying for private school.

They might not get into university with a state school education if it’s not a good one

I went to private primary and then grammar

I have a good job now but not due to school made contacts but work contacts and having a personality that fits

I chose not to do university as I didn’t want the debt

Anyone I know who has been to university and done well at it hasn’t come out with amazing jobs other than the one doctor who has the worst work life balance of all.

Well I think it depends how bright your kids are, if they need the extra support, and what the standard of state schools are like in your area.
Both of mine went to average state schools and got top grades (as did many of their friends) so clearly private school isn't a necessity.

Private school might be a more pleasant experience OP. It might mean your kids don't encounter some of the worst behaviour, or end up getting overlooked in big classes. It might also mean they come out with GCSE grades a bit higher than they would otherwise have got, and then it might happen again at A level. So they get into a good university, where they have to hold their own against the state school intake who arguably have to be a little brighter to achieve parity of grades for eligibility for the course. They graduate with a decent degree. Now they have approximately £40k of debt and are no more attractive a prospect to employers than the state educated graduates with the same degree. Don't you think they'd far rather have the money then, so they can go to university without accruing huge debts (because unlike with schools, there's no choice not to pay fees)? Or have the deposit for a first house? The alternative is to spend £400K in total to get them to this point a slightly easier way but have nothing left to help them with when they most need it!
Education isn't free, or at least you pay for it in your taxes. Most state schools are fine. You know this because you went to one and you thrived. Save the money and do your kids a favour when they really need it!

We’ll be going private all-through but it’s not about the grades (we’ve got top schools incl 5 grammars locally).

We just feel it’ll be a much nicer experience with small classes, fantastic grounds and facilities and a very strong culture of participation in music and sport. We want DC to have a nice time and grow up well rounded which the independent sector supports better.

I worked in the state sector for a number of years, and while some schools are great, the funding is miniscule, there’s never any money for decent resources etc so they just won’t ever be able to compete even with the most brilliant teachers.

Whether it’s worth the money is a personal decision really. If you’ve got enough for a deposit, you could possibly buy a BTL that would pay for itself before your children reach adulthood. Obvs there are many tax and financial implications so you’d need professional advice.

I would go for property over private school. I was privately educated and left school a bit of a twat tbh. Took me a while to unlearn some stuff out in the 'real world'. DS will be going state, with a more diverse community and hopefully lesser sense of entitlement than I ended up with. It's so hard for young adults to get on the property ladder - that would be an invaluable safety net for their adulthood. Private education does not guarantee anything - it does not give security or guarantee a good wage in adulthood, no matter how good their results are, believe me. Having a property would remove a lot of stress.

Anyone I know who has been to university and done well at it hasn’t come out with amazing jobs other than the one doctor who has the worst work life balance of all.

Yes but that's just your unusual personal experience. Statistically graduates earn significantly more than non graduates. Every I know earning a 6 figure salary did at least an undergrad degree and almost everyone I know in their 30s who didn't go to uni is earning significantly less (almost all under £30k). That's not to say that you can't earn a lot or have an otherwise rewarding career without uni but it's silly to claim that it doesn't increase your earning potential - particularly if you attend a top uni. For most people it's also a really positive experience and the opportunity to learn more about a subject that interests them.

Anyone I know who has been to university and done well at it hasn’t come out with amazing jobs other than the one doctor who has the worst work life balance of all.

DP and I both have high earning jobs in the same area. He doesn't have a degree, I do. The difference is that he has a much harder time getting past agents and getting to the interview stage, because even 20 years later, people use a degree as a filtering tool. His brothers all have the same issue (also in the same kind of area of work). I on the other hand, had 2 kids, was freelancing for 4 years during that, and walked straight back into great job offers with major companies with no difficulty at all. My MIL didn't see the point of degrees, and TBH, it has hampered her children. Unless my kids had a strong desire to do something else, I'd encourage them to University.

I agree with Inliverpool1 - private school is about networking and who you know.
It helps in life. Life is not a level playing pitch.

Not all private schools are equal in terms of 'networking' and useful contacts. Mine was totally useless. No-one from my year in any sort of position to give me a helping hand with my career. If you're looking at Eton or Harrow and your DC is envisaging some sort of political career or in finance, then yeah, nepotism (or is that just family?! ) is useful. Otherwise, nah, not so much.

It depends on the kid, the area and the available state options. For a middling somewhat quiet kid I'd go private every time. They will make the most of that kids talents. They are investing in instilling confidence. For a very bright pushy kid who will be picked for everything at state school I'd consider it for primary if you can provide the logistics/money for lots of outside interests. For secondary there's no question I'd go private if you can afford. Teach a man to fish and all that.

Depends what school. My DC went to a private prep, they are dyslexic and the experience was appalling. Many prep schools don't have the skills or resources to deal with this. The problem is you don't know whether your dc will have sen before they start school. DC are at state secondary now. The support they have got is amazing and I am so impressed with their progress. I wish I hadn't wasted my money of private prep tbh. The one we used was very focused on the 11plus and they had no interest in any child that was unlikely to pass with good grades. It's worth considering that if you decide to go down that route.

We send our DC private. I think it gives them a leg up in life, private children in general have an air of self confidence that state school children doesn’t. All the resources, the small class sizes, the well equipped labs, specialist teachers and the emphasis on sport are also a factor. Plus the network and contacts. Not to mention the fact that private schools can remove problematic children if they are disrupting the education of the other children, I am not sure if that is the same at state school (perception rather than fact obviously) but either way it was never something we considered.
I know we are lucky to have the option.

Small class - 16 maximum, my child started with only 12 in their class. And had 2 teachers per class. Resources are amazing. The confidence - astounding. Worth it in my opinion.

Depends on the calibre of state schools in your area. A good state school stuffed full of the kids of parents who value education means private frankly a waste of money. But on the other hand...

My husband and I both went to state and private in three different countries. It didn't make any difference apart from cost. Private gives you the edge socially which can be helpful after uni, but only in certain professions. Our kids are at a state school, but we are considering private for the final two years.

Depends on the schools near you.
Our local state school gets results very similar to the local private school. The state school kids have parents who work in the NHS, police, etc
The private school has a fair amount of kids from families involved in crime!
I realise the opposite is probably true on other areas.
Check out the demographic.

Property always property.
They will need a home whatever or however they do in life. And actually having home sorted means you can have a career you enjoy not one that just pays the bills. So in the long run I think it opens up more opportunities in life.

You need a home, you don’t need a private education.

@measelsmumpsandweasels perfect summary. fits exactly with our experience

Depends on the area and local schools.

If you really cannot afford a home if you send them private, I would not do it.

And even then, I live in a place with good state schools (comps) great 6th form colleges and also great private (and public) schools.

All to choose from.

The kids going to the private schools end up back with their mates from state. The public school really does put them in a different stream, so if you are talking “connections” and “our kind of people” and advantage (say somewhere like Wellington, Eton, Winchester College) then yes it gives them a leg up.

Random private school (some might call them “state school plus” ) not so much of a difference in outcome

Education is more of an investment in the here and now than their furure earning potential which varies on so much. They need a school environment that supports their mental health right now if that makes sense.

we live in Essex with a couple of the best grammars in the country a 10 minute drive. Their results are better than the private schools in the area, it’s just really competitive to get in

Well, exactly. The results reflect the ability of the cohort as they do in schools of any kind.

£250k is also a lot to spend to get three As, if they would also have got 3As at a comprehensive.

Have a look round the primary schools.

I fell in love with our local primary because they were hatching chicks and rearing chickens. A small school that treated every child as a member of the school family. 7 years of happy and effective education, lifelong friends living close by, all free.

I would not commit to a major outlay for 14 years without knowing what Brexit will bring in terms of income and expenditure.

£6 for a bag of ground coffee will be ahead of my kids wearing a posh uniform, I can tell you

Agree @Grasspigeons I moved mine because they were unhappy and unsupported, not because I was concerned over which tier of university they might achieve.