To those who drink 3-4 bottles of wine per week

[prayerbeforebed]

Can you cope with everyday life the next day and are you comfortable with your intake?
Is it too much ? Is your health affected ?
I find that I am using wine as a crutch since my shock split from husband and subsequent discovery of an affair.
I drink three bottle is wine per week when I did used to enjoy one . I don't want anymore but I find it completely relaxed me and gives me a little buzz of happiness in anitherwise difficult time.
I don't want to ruin my health but I feel a bit guilt.
Thanks

I agree to winding it back in, more so that you avoid becoming alcoholic as it is possible to have a healthy relationship with alcahol.

I routinely drank that, even more over Christmas. I'm in dry january and thought I'd find it impossible but it has been really ok, it was a habit.

It affected my weight and made me feel rather sluggish and I looked a bit shit most of the time. I was also paranoid people could smell it off me the next day.

I'm not giving up completely but plan to reign it in.

We holiday in France quite alot and when we visited Burgundy about ten years ago, we stayed in a gite owned by a vigneron. She was in her seventies and worked hard in the vineyard. She told us a story about her mother who lived to 98 and drank two bottles of wine a day. The vigneron invited us into her house one morning as we were going for a walk and cracked open a bottle of Puligny Montrachet. We never touch alcohol before 7.00 at home but felt it would be rude to turn down a glass of good white wine.
I probably drink about the same as the OP, which does concern me a bit, but it doesn't seem to make me sluggish during the day. We do regular pub quizzes and have won quite few.
I am loathe to respect the government guidelines because they always seem to be changing

Do you think I am dependent or excessive drinker?

Does not sound like it.

I drank every night for a time, just to make my brain shut down so I could fall sleep at night (young GS was dying of cancer). Sometimes it helps, alcohol isn't always the bad guy. I'm done drinking myself to sleep now. I still drink, though much much less.

Please tell me when alcohol helps? Using it to sleep is a shit self medication.

Going to your GP and seeking help throughout a personal trauma would be far beneficial to your physical and mental health.

My drinking had started to creep up in the latter half of last year, to the point I'd be having 3 whiskeys a night (poured freehand so likely more than a standard double!).
I wasn't hungover the day after but I was worried it was becoming more of a habit so decided to do Dry January (it doesn't have to be January, you can pick any month) to try and have a bit of a reset! It's been surprisingly easy, and as a bonus I look a bit less haggard

I don't want to stop drinking completely but when this month is over I'm definitely going to be very careful not to let it creep up to be quite so much. I'm planning to stick to gin and tonic (whiskey is too comforting!) made with my cocktail measure to avoid overly generous pouring and only on nights when I don't have work the next day.

I think it depends on how you feel.

My mum spends months drinking a bottle a night. It doesn't seem to affect her, she works and says she isn't tired. I'd be dead if I drank like that. I suspect she is a functioning alcoholic but she won't take that seriously.

I'm very aware of her habits and very aware that I could have inherited them. I drank a lot over Christmas but usually just have a few gins at home at the weekend.

I'm doing dry January and you know what? It's been very hard at weekends. I've absolutely craved a drink. I haven't given in and I think that while I crave it, I probably shouldn't have it. It proves though that I was right and it's a slippery slope for me.

If you feel you rely on it too much then you probably do.

HowlsMovingBungalow

you do you

I drink a very similar amount OP and have done for many years. It's a very stable pattern for me, I have no inclination to drink more, simply have no appetite for it after about half a bottle.

This would take me about 3 hours - say from 6.30pm to 9.30pm as I don't like to have had anything just before bed. Personally I feel fine with this, I see no immediate negatives to my health or skin, I am fit, healthy size 10, low blood pressure, resting heart rate 62.

I acknowledge there are possible long term consequences with slightly elevated risks of some conditions but honestly to me, the pleasure that I get from a glass or 2 of wine outweighs my concerns here.

I can go without alcohol with no issue at all, and in fact have improved in this area as I previously was probably too reliant on it to help in some social occasions. Now I feel no need to have it whatsoever (but yes, get a lot of pleasure and enjoyment when I do have a glass or 2.)

I would beware intake creeping up, and obviously make sure it does not impact your day to day functioning.

@HowlsMovingBungalow And what can the GP do? Anti depressants and CBT? I spent more time trying to come off anti depressants which was very hard, than cutting down a bit of over drinking. And CBT is about negative thought patterns. It does not work if you do not have negative thought patterns, but are just having a shit time.

@lazylinguist...of course it’s bad for health. We all know that. The point I was trying to make as that you can have two people who drink the same amount. One person can truly take it or leave it, but the other needs it; and the thought of not having it or having access denied is terrifying - literally like having a crutch pulled away with a knackered leg.
The OP says she’s going to reduce her drink a couple of days, but honestly I don’t wish to sound unmotivating, this proves very little. She should try a good week and see how she feels. Bear in mind someone can be dependant but dry drunk; in otherwords they’re abstaining but haven’t tackled the underlying alcohol psychological dependancy.

So whats the answer? Drink to sleep? Drink to 'ease' the anxiety? Drink to stop painful emotions?

Good luck with that.

I'd pick CBT and anti depressants over a alcohol habit and a fucked liver/blood pressure and ongoing anxiety/depression.

Could you replace some of your drink evenings with another activity you enjoy? Cinema, or out with friends, or an interest group?

I don't think your intake is hugely excessive, but it is a bit, and its not a good idea to become dependent. Other things might be more enjoyable in the long term, especially with friends, or making new friends.

Good luck in your new life.

You will damage your liver. That's too much.

How about reducing the 3 bottles to 2 bottles a week. No other drinks in the house either. That might be a better balance and still give you some pleasure and release.

The health risks for women are quite serious.

It's not just about liver, but breast cancer.

OP I don't know your age but for women post menopause, alcohol intake is directly linked to more breast cancer.

Instead of using booze to blot out unpleasant thoughts and depress your central nervous system, you ought to address the experience you had- the loss of your marriage.

Talking therapy is the way forward and you could start by looking at the website of MIND for general help on how to boost your mood- ie going for a walk, joining a gym, going to a dance class.

Blotting out your grief over his affair through drink is not the answer.

I’m amazed by some of the amounts people can drink throughout the week and apparently not have side effects. How old are you all I wonder? I stopped being able to drink loads in my early 40s, without getting bloody awful headaches I mean. I still did it, until my mid-40s when I packed it in completely. One of the best things I ever did for my sleep ironically.

I’m 51 now, genuinely think I can’t process it as well as I did. If I drank 3-4 bottles a week I wouldn’t be able to go to work or look after the children! Sometimes a large glass used to give me three days of pain.

The differences on this thread are really interesting. And a bit shocking if I’m honest.

I would cut down or else it could creep up further and long term you are punishing your liver by making it process alcohol every other day (on average).

The worry is simple - it ends ups been a bottle of wine every night, then two bottles of wine ect.

It’s harmful to your health. Your basically saying alcohol is becoming your comfort blanket, your using it to make yourself feel better/switch off/ease the pain of reality.

I think your worried with how much your drinking to help you cope. speak to your dr, there’s safer ways for you to deal with your feelings xx

There was an interesting article recently about women stopping drinking (I assume you've posted ebcause you're concerned about your intake and want to get a handle on it).

The link is here and basically, it is about a woman who set up Tempest, a group to support women quitting alcohol because she found the AA and other rehab models too macho.

If you're worried, speak to someone you trust if you feel you can open up. It's helpful to identify when you're drinking and why (triggers, habits, boredom?) and what you might be able to do to identify these before they trip you up, and how to handle them differently.

I don’t think 3 bottles per week is a massive problem but I do think a bottle at a time is too much in one go. Most people who drink alcohol do enjoy that slightly buzzy feeling, and it’s hard not to look forward to that as it does feel relaxing, I guess that makes us all dependent? I probably drink about 2 bottles per week (don’t strictly measure as it’s often shared between 3or more people). I’m going to read the Alan Carr book that I’ve seen recommended on here to see if it changes my view of alcohol.

I've always enjoyed some evening wine, and like OP, could sink a bottle pretty easily a couple of nights a week. I've never felt dependent on it, if I miss a night it doesn't bother me, but drinking a bottle to myself wasn't exactly ideal! I've increased my alcohol free nights, as well as cut down on the amount when I do drink, so a glass or 2 and that's it.
I actually found it worrying that I could drink a whole bottle and feel OK the next day!

@PeppermintPasty

I'm one who drinks around what the OP does and I'm 50. I didn't drink much at all through my 20's and 30's. But I was raising DC then. I never drank at home until they were grown up. Not because I thought it was "wrong" in any way, it just didn't cross my mind.

A lot of people on these threads tend to think that alcohol use will always "creep up" if you drink too often. Yes that can happen to some people obviously, but it doesn't happen to everyone. For example I never drink alcohol before 7pm, other than a very rare pub lunch or Christmas dinner! That's been the case for years now and I see no reason for it to change. I'm also usually in bed around 9:30! So my window for drinking isn't large.

I had been doing this for some months. Around 4 bottles a week.

I never had a hangover unless I drank more than a bottle and on work nights I usually had 3/4 of a bottle. I was drinking most days - even if just a (large) glass.

I am 3 weeks into dry January. The plan after that is to stay within the recommended units and have at least 3 days a week off. Alcohol free lager is helping on the days I get cravings. I might carry on into Feb though. I am saving loads of monet and worry about slipping back.

Money