To those who drink 3-4 bottles of wine per week

[prayerbeforebed]

Can you cope with everyday life the next day and are you comfortable with your intake?
Is it too much ? Is your health affected ?
I find that I am using wine as a crutch since my shock split from husband and subsequent discovery of an affair.
I drink three bottle is wine per week when I did used to enjoy one . I don't want anymore but I find it completely relaxed me and gives me a little buzz of happiness in anitherwise difficult time.
I don't want to ruin my health but I feel a bit guilt.
Thanks

Oh and to address the reasons to drink? They are many. I am also separated from my husband. I drink to numb the pain. I drink when I am lonely, angry, sad, stressed, to relax, because I deserve it, to be sociable, to help me sleep, because I like the taste, because I get bored with tea and coffee, because its the weekend etc etc. There is always a reason.

So @Meruem, if you don’t mind me asking...if your window each night is 2 and half hours or so, how many glasses is that each night? About three, or four? Seems a lot to me, but I don’t drink at all any more. I’m pretty fed up I get headaches tbh, I sometimes miss drinking wine!

Regardless of all the health implications of drinking that amount, that would be half my food budget blown on just wine each month. No thanks.

• Even if not alcoholic, that level means you are drinking 30-40 units a week That's more than double the safe limit...*

It’s more than double what the Uk government have determined is their recommendation of a safe limit.

In Ireland the limit is more. In Italy the limit is more. Some countries have separate “limits” for men and women and some don’t.

If you were a Spanish Man you would be drinking pretty much bang on what their government have determined to be the recommendation for a safe limit.

Of course every country will be being conservative, and no country will want to be the one who is out of kilter with everyone else.

Sorry, but I think I’m one of those Mumsnet goody-two-shoes. 😅

I’m amazed at how much some people drink and how acceptable it is. I would feel really sick if I drank a bottle.

I wouldn’t drink more than the NHS recommended 14 units. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Liver disease is a particularly shite disease. It’s nasty and it doesn’t just effect raging alcoholics.

OP, if I were you I’d drop the alcohol almost completely. Your long term health is more important that having a bottle of wine three or four times a week.

@Mureum for women your age, alcohol is a big risk factor in breast cancer. Drinking more than a couple of small glasses of wine a night will increase your risk more than (for example) HRT.
As long as you are aware of this and happy to take the risk, fine, but it's worth knowing.

@PeppermintPasty

Usually it would be around half a bottle in that time and I don't feel I'm glugging it down, I do just sip it, but often I suppose! I have friends that will take maybe 3 or 4 sips an hour! So in comparison to them I guess I'm drinking it fast. I tend to use small glasses as I never see the point of having a glass the size of a fish bowl with just a splash of wine in the bottom! I'd rather have a full glass!

The times where it can slip into a full bottle is when I have company or long chats on the phone to my sister! But then I'm usually up later those nights and that isn't all the time.

So whats the answer? Drink to sleep?

Yup, it was

"Drink to 'ease' the anxiety? Drink to stop painful emotions?*

Yup, and it did

Good luck with that

It worked, ta. I hope I didn't leave you thinking I am still drinking myself to sleep.

I'd pick CBT and anti depressants over a alcohol habit and a fucked liver/blood pressure and ongoing anxiety/depression

I like how you suggest I have an alcohol "habit". I don't.
Nor fucked up liver/blood pressure (Dr. says with my BP I will live forever).
I have tried antidepressants-- they "worked", in a sense. I was flaked out most of the time. Getting off them was hell. Never again.

I will make an assumption about you shall I? Well, no I won't. Just believe me that when the worst thing that has ever happened to you, happens, then you do what you have to do to get through it.

Some weeks I drink that amount and will do for a few weeks on the run, then I go off it and don't drink for a month or so. I know I'm not dependent on it , I can take or leave it I'm lucky as I don't suffer from hangovers if you need it then it's a problem

To myself? No. I share one on a Friday and Saturday.

OK there @SawingForTeens? Make all the assumptions you want, recovering alcoholic here ( with PTSD ).

When I was heading for a breakdown I started using alcohol as a crutch. I drank about 2-3 bottles a week. If I had to get up early for work and had had a bottle the night before and not much sleep I did feel a bit hungover and very tired. I think anymore than a bottle a week is too much. I only have a glass of wine or two once a fortnight/once a month. I feel much better. I realised that even though I felt good at the time it made me very depressed. Don't beat yourself up for your drinking as you are obviously having a hard time but I would gradually look at finding some healthier coping skills. How else can you soothe yourself or distract yourself? Consider seeing your GP for meds and/or talking therapy. Good luck.

I used to drink a little less than you but stopped last year as I began to develop an alcohol intolerance (itching, sneezing etc after any form of alcohol). I would never ever had said it effected me at all, but after a few months off I cannot believe the difference in my energy levels, appearance...it’s amazing. I won’t ever go back. I’m up at 5am four days a week and workout for an hour before work, getting loads more done at work too.

For all those saying it doesn’t effect them, I’d say take a few months off and see!

When you’re drinking alcohol to change the way you feel because you’re basically unhappy most of the time, that’s the first step into the downward spiral of alcoholism.

It’s really not about the amount you’re drinking or whether you can hold down a job etc.

Please speak to your GP and get a referral for some type of counselling to help you learn to cope with your current life as it is now and how you might change things for the better. Drinking to forget is NEVER THE ANSWER.

HowlsMovingBungalow

Precisely why I decided NOT to make an assumption: None of us know what the people on this thread have been through. And we are all different; I do not have the "alcoholic" bent. I used wine as a crutch, until I no longer needed it. I wouldn't decide for someone else what was best for them, though. The OP sounded like she was going through a bit of a horrible time, used the wine to help her feel better, but was not ruled by it. So I shared my similar experience.

You did sound a bit judgemental though, tbf, but I get it. You have been through shit too

Everyone drinks alcohol to change the way you feel. Otherwise we’d all be drinking squash.

@lilgreen

I drink very infrequently, once a month a most. It isn’t to change the way I feel. It’s because I’m out for dinner and a nice chilled glass of Sauvignon Blanc is a lovely accompaniment to main meal. Then soda and lime after the main course.

So the relaxing effect has no appeal?

I enjoy the taste of the alcohol I drink and the relaxing effect. Never had a problem with needing a drink. Often go weeks without a drink but right now it’s Friday, my last drink was Saturday night and I’m looking forward to a few glasses to wine. These threads always get filled up by non drinkers and sherry at every third Christmas types. I don’t know anyone like that.

Tbh - one small glass of wine having had a starter and eating it with a main meal - well over an hour sipping. Can’t say I really clock a relaxing feel!

I’m relaxed enough anyway!

* I don’t know anyone like that.*

Fair enough

I am one if those people, as are majority of my friends.

Good for you.

It's pretty irrelevant whether the UK is being conservative in its safe limits when the recent scientific research basically says there is no real safe limit and that alcohol is bad for you full stop.

The problem with this kind of thread is that people aren't really answering the same question. To some people, the question "Is my drinking a problem?" is code for "Am I an alcoholic?" Others will take it to mean "Am I drinking at a level which will impact my health/sleep/relationships/mental health/life". Alcohol can cause plenty of problems without the drinker being an alcoholic.

I've certainly drunk that much on a regular basis at various times in my life, and at the time would have said it wasn't doing me any damage or having any particular effect on the way I felt. However, now that I've virtually given up alcohol altogether I know I was wrong about that. I feel much more alert and well, and I realise now that alcohol was having quite a depressive effect on my emotions. I also came quite close to trashing my liver and gut, and probably other things I'm not aware of.

I'm not judging and I appreciate you're going through a horrible time, but what I would say is that, even leaving the matter of dependence aside, you're going to do bad stuff to your health if you maintain that intake. Sorry.

Non drinkers don’t live as long as moderate drinkers! Just throwing that out there.