To those who drink 3-4 bottles of wine per week

[prayerbeforebed]

Can you cope with everyday life the next day and are you comfortable with your intake?
Is it too much ? Is your health affected ?
I find that I am using wine as a crutch since my shock split from husband and subsequent discovery of an affair.
I drink three bottle is wine per week when I did used to enjoy one . I don't want anymore but I find it completely relaxed me and gives me a little buzz of happiness in anitherwise difficult time.
I don't want to ruin my health but I feel a bit guilt.
Thanks

I used to drink about 1/2 to 3/4 of a bottle of wine every night when I was in my late 20’s early 30’s. I didn’t realise I had a problem but I definitely did - I was never fresh when I woke up in the morning, I often had panic attacks and sweaty palms the next day and felt lethargic. Often friends and I would skip out in our lunch hour at work and get a glass or two then too! I think the worst thing was looking back and realising how much time I wasted! I was spending every night in my flat drinking when I could have been doing much more interesting things like studying at night school, making things or getting fit. I was drinking to mask the stress I was feeling in a job that was full on and in which I was over stretched. Now I get endorphins from running whilst listening to music and the chilled out feeling after exercise lasts a good few hours ( far longer than a wine buzz does). If you find your intake is creeping up try exercising it wil make you feel so much better in the long run. I’m sorry you’ve had a bad time with your relationship breakup.

Used to and not notice the difference as much, but when I gave up, boy do I notice the difference!! I guess it's all about tolerance but having given up I could never go back. Mind feels fuzzy, confused, over tired, bad skin etc when I've been drinking a lot.

If it wasn’t wine it would be some rubbish food

Maybe so but even junk food has some nutritional benefit.

Alcohol has none

Sorry about your split.
I used to drink approx 5 bottles per week. It slowly went from 1 bottle on a Friday after work to Fri, Sat and Sunday. Then 1/2 bottle on a Thursday and then me needing 2 bottles on a Fri & Sat night.
After about a year I could feel it was affecting my memory, I was tired all of the time, my skin was terribly dry and had beer fear about 5 days per week. Oh and a disgusting looking wine gut that made me look about 5 months pregnant.
I cut back to 1 bottle on a Sat night when we started TTC and definitely felt a million times better. And saved a fortune!
I now rarely drink at home and when I do I enjoy it so much more, it feels like a nice treat again.

I have drunk that much when coping with difficult times, it was better than a nervous breakdown. The only way it affected me was that I don't sleep very well after drinking.
If you are doing a few nights of no alcohol I wouldn't worry too much, but arguably you can get the same feelings from half a bottle drunk slowly as from a whole bottle.

3-4 bottles per week is roughly half a bottle a day which is 2 large glasses.

I don't think that is particularly excessive or enough to leave you feeling ropey in the morning, but it's worrying that your intake has increased dramatically during a period of stress. I would work towards cutting it back to nearer your previous level, not because I think 2 large glasses a night is too much, but because I don't think it's great to use it as a crutch. It can escalate pretty quickly from there. Especially as you are largely drinking alone when feeling maudlin.

If it wasn’t wine it would be some rubbish food

It's not an either or. Plenty of people do both. And in fact drinking alcohol often makes you more inclined to reach for the junk food. Whereas if the OP's eating a lovely healthy diet why ruin that by drinking a load of booze?

I don’t drink that much anymore, but used to. Looking back it was too much, but I would have denied it vehemently at the time. I would have said ‘I feel the same the morning after not having a drink as I do the morning after having one’ and it would have been true... however it was only when I went a couple of months without any alcohol at all that I realised i felt much much better. Just took a while for the effects of the alcohol to wear off! My weight came down, my skin was better, I felt more productive and less ‘fuzzy’. I now drink maybe 3/4 glasses of wine a week, some weeks none at all.
In terms of dependancy, it’s a question only you can answer really. I think the term ‘alcoholic’ is unhelpful as it conjures up imagines of an unkempt person swigging vodka out of a paper bag on a park bench. In reality, many ‘normal’ people are dependent on alcohol to some extent.
Alcohol is an additive substance, that’s not in dispute. It stands to reason therefore that many people will be addicted to it to a greater or lesser degree. If you think you may be overly dependent, then take steps to cut down. It won’t harm you to cut down, and my help you feel better.

I drink 3 bottles a week....wine free Monday through to Thursday most weeks and have been for best part of 10 years
Had full blood tests done before Christmas including liver function tests and CRP test (shows inflammation of liver) and everything came back at normal levels.
I don't smoke and don't have a high sugar/chocolate craving so it's my only vice and it doesn't concern me one iota

I drink 2/3 large glasses of wine most evenings, (& have done for many years) I don't get hangovers or feel tired. But I wouldn't drink a whole bottle at one time (well, I did last Sat which was rare - a night out - and I definitely felt bad the next day).

I suppose my body is used to the amount of alcohol.

When I have stopped it is because I am low carbing and I do feel better but that might be the difference in food as well as no alcohol.

I used to drink a lot before dc because there was a drinking culture in my line of work and it was habit. When I went on holiday with non drinkers I didn't drink and loved it ... but feel back into it again every time back at work. Now I have dc and I have never picked it back up again, so hardly drink at all.

My advice - looking back in hindsight at times when I had tough relationship experiences while working - you won't get over what you are going through unless you stop drinking - if you stop drinking it will hit you like a lorry but the only way through it is to deal with it with your own mind not altered by alcohol - you will get over it and you will also start to build a new life with new things in it, towards happiness, in a way you couldn't possibly do if you were drinking 3 bottles of wine a week. You are currently being affected by the alcohol probably the next day and the day after even if you aren't suffering with hangovers. Stop, and it will be really hard (assuming you are safe to stop - make sure you know what the situation is with DTs - I have no idea when they'd kick in) but keep at it and within a few weeks you will feel the change and within a few months be in a better place.

Is my advice.

I believe you only have a problem if you cant go without. If you said I'm not drinking for the next 7 days, would you feel fine. If you cant cope and break open a bottle, then you have a problem.

Depends what kind of problem you mean. The OP is clearly concerned, otherwise she wouldn't have posted. I'd say that being concerned about the fact you are drinking double the recommended amounts and are probably risking long-term health issues is a problem.

My parents drink on average two bottles of wine a night but then the next night could be an 18 pack of beers split between them both one might drink more than the other and vice Versa, however one of them holds down a full time job and the other looks after four kids under ten whilst that person is working. It's been like this since I was young they wouldn't say they are alcoholics but I sadly think they are.
They cannot have just one drink a night it has to be botttles or numerous cans, one of them might have a can or wine before work, or the other one who stays at home might start drinking by 11am. It honestly does upset me .
They usually crash out on the sofa out cold until morning and the next day they both are just cranky and irritable.
Every occasion is marked with booze, kids parties, they borrow money when they have none for drink.
I didn't mean to hijack your post OP just I've never really realised how bad it is for them with alcohol

Yes that is an excessive amount of units per week. You need to cut down

You have started a thread expressing concern about your drinking - asking whether excessive or dependent

The point at which a person is concerned about their own drinking means that it is a very valid concern and needs addressing

Good luck op

@Beautiful3

I believe you only have a problem if you cant go without. If you said I'm not drinking for the next 7 days, would you feel fine. If you cant cope and break open a bottle, then you have a problem...

This. Some people do have a glass of wine (or two,) in the evening some nights, and it might clock up to 3-4 bottles a week. I don't think that is a MASSIVE amount, but I think it's on the borderline.

In other countries they drink a glass or two of wine a few times a week (with their meals usually,) and it doesn't seem to do them any harm, but I don't feel like they are dependant on it, and it is just a social thing IYSWIM.

I think if you are drinking 3-4 bottles a week whilst sitting alone and watching TV/mumsnetting, and that's not great. It's not AWFUL, but it's a good idea to keep an eye on it.

@prayerbeforebed

As the poster above said, could you just stop right now and go without for a long-ish period of time? Not just a week, but have none until say, May the 1st? Or do you feel stressed at the thought of no alcohol for just over 3 months?

If you DO feel stressed at the thought of no alcohol for 3 months, then you do have a problem.

I can easily go MONTHS without alcohol, and it doesn't bother me, but I do like the odd sherry or whiskey (and a glass or two of wine with a nice roast meal,) but if I could never drink alcohol again, it wouldn't bother me

I would say my weakness is probably food. especially cheese and chocolate and general 'carby stuff...' Also cakes, biccies, and pastries.

I admire and envy people who are disciplined and stay slim and fit - and don't eat much crap (like me.)

So we all have our weaknesses and vices.

@peanutdust Your parents need to go to rehab by the sound of it!

I used to drink that amount (maybe a little bit more) and yes, it was too much over time.
You might be fine on it, but you might not, and it's a hell of a gamble. Up to you if you want to take that risk though.

OP, anytime you start a drinking thread on MN, you will be labelled an alcoholic.

Except no one on this thread has said this...

Also meant to add on it doesn't sound like a lot for now but in time can you see yourself drinking more than what you are now? I think if you feel it's somewhat a bit much and your worried you'll continue drinking more to just get that happy release then try and cut down from now.
My parents use any time they are stressed as an excuse to drink but with or without the stress they'd still drink

Prayerbeforebed I used to drink too much, like you whilst going through the hell of finding the man you married is a cheat, i thought alcohol helped me cope but it didnt, it just masked my feelings. You will never deal with the grief whilst you are drunk ( yes you are, no matter what lies you tell yourself) Are you driving the next morning ? Here in Scotland you would be over the limit, can you honestly say you are never over the limit when you get behind that wheel ? How would it impact on your life if you failed a breath test ?

I try to drink only at weekends as I find the quality of my sleep is reduced if I have alcohol. I feel better as a result.

@MistyCloud I know but that would never happen sometimes they take a few days off to prove they aren't dependent on it but spend the whole time moaning about it

I think you need to be careful that this doesn't spiral out of control.

If your personality is that you need to quit something cold turkey and never go back then do that, if you need to gradually reduce something do it that way.
Just be careful that you don't develop cirrhosis. Your children have had a huge upheaval and their father has moved on, they are learning how grief/healing/moving on works through your actions and they don't need to loose you to alcoholism.
You may have had no control over his choice to walk but you do have a choice on how you move forward from here.

I used to drink that much and while I didn't feel it affected my health per se, it certainly affected my weight!

I didn't like getting drunk, still don't, but I like the taste of wine.

I don't drink that much now - 1-1.5 glasses of wine per night now, with some nights off - and one thing that helped reduce my intake (which isn't for everyone, I know) was to dilute the wine with sparkling mineral water - even red wine. I drink everything at the same speed, regardless of alcohol content, so diluting it works for me because I get the flavour (albeit weaker) and the volume but with half the alcohol content. As I said, for me it's not about getting drunk, or the buzz - I just like the flavour.

Anyway, it's one way to help you cut down if that's what you want to do.

When my marriage broke up, I was drinking a bottle of wine a night to sleep. Every night.
Never hung over, never felt out of sorts as always got enough sleep. The weight gain, bloating and feeling a bit sluggish wasnt good and there was more than once when it was more than one bottle a night, usually at the weekend when ExH took the DCs.

I don't know where the wake up call came from, but it did, and now almost 6 years later, it's a bottle a week (usually all in one night) and I can live with that.