They didn't use car seat!

[jollybobs89]

Ok so DD almost 2! Grandparents looked after her at the weekend for the day asked if they needed the car seat to which they said no probably won't go out!

Anyway turns out they did go out and took DD in the car with no car seat on MIL knee to a supermarket which was probably a 13 mile round trip!

DH has gone mental said it's not acceptable at all which it isnt! Caused a massive row as they said she was 100% safe that they are upset that we think they would put her in danger?! (But they did there was no need to take her in the car one of them could have stayed home) they have said that she was probably safer on MIL knee that she would be in a car seat!!! And said thats just what they do ?! They have numerous grandkids.

AWBU? To be mad re this?? They didn't tell us they'd gone out it was till a few days later we realised from pics they sent of having her.

Just don't want everyone falling out re this! But they won't hold their hands up and apologise they just think it's acceptable

In the 70s car seat safety didn’t seem to be around. My parents drove around Kenya with me in a wicker carrycot in the back seat. When DS was born my Mum found it very concerning that we put him in a baby car seat to bring him home from hospital, she thought I ought to hold him in my arms in the car.
They can learn though, my parents have a car seat for DS and use it.

That’s so crap. I’m over 50 and had a car seat when I was small so I’m sure they did for their kids.

I would not leave my dc with them unsupervised again.

Also, I was born in 1982 and always used a car seat, as did all my cousins. My parents are in their 70’s and would be appalled by what your in-laws did.

OP you should talk to DH's siblings and check they are aware of the situation.
@Nutty44 you are, quite simply, very stupid. There is a reason (well actually lots of reasons) the law changed regarding car seats. There are a lot more cars on the road which are more powerful and can cause more damage. Cars are built differently too. Just because your children were never injured does not mean anything. I've never had cancer, doesn't mean I don't attend all the screenings I am offered as a, you know, precaution!
Maybe a shift in A&E to see the damage a crash can cause would change your opinion - though I doubt it. I hope your DC are on Mumsnet and know your username - then at least they will know never to trust you with the DC lives!

@jollybobs89 I'd go NC and stay NC. They've undermined you as parents even if the safety thing wasn't an issue.

You've told them you're not happy with the way they've acted and instead of being prepared to change their ways they've got defensive.

If they can do it over something this serious imagine how much they must undermine you in other areas.

Yanbu. Totally totally unacceptable. What ever are they thinking!

I’m over 50 and had a car seat when I was small so I’m sure they did for their kids.

I didn't. The first car I remember didn't even have seatbelts.

I do think my mum says they strapped the carrycot in when we were babies but (as the youngest!) I don't really know.

My two were born in 1971 and 1973. We had straps for the carrycot and then they had proper car seats. It was expensive and you had to have holes drilled in the car to secure them, but it was entirely possible.
I simply can't imagine where your in-laws have been for the last forty- five years if they still don't understand the importance of car seats.
It isn't a generational thing, just a dangerously ignorant thing.

Even though my parents didn't use car seats when we were small, they still used them without question for their grandchildren.

Probably because they aren't stupid and recognise that safety measures change and are brought in for a reason.

i work drive through and you would not believe the amount of people who dont use car seats.I have even seen toddlers on drivers lap ?????.So unsafe

it is not a generational thing, it is a Stupid ignorant thing

In case they say that it was an unexpected journey so that’s exempt from the law:
Unexpected journeys
If the correct child car seat isn’t available, a child aged 3 or older can use an adult seat belt if the journey is all of the following from gov site:

unexpected
necessary
over a short distance
You can’t take children under 3 on an unexpected journey in a vehicle without the correct child car seat, unless both of the following apply:

it’s a licensed taxi or minicab
the child travels on a rear seat without a seat belt

That would be enough to say no unsupervised contact.

I was born early 80s and my parents did use a car seat for me but not for anywhere near as long as we now know is needed for safety.

They have always had age appropriate car seats for the grandchildren and now with Ds at 10 they will sometimes do short trips with him with no seat if really needed but that’s it.

I assume they aren’t local cabbies

@ Nutty44 I am the same age as you and had DC in the early 80s and remember travelling around with them without car seats . Makes me feel a bit sick now . Unlike you I have learned and would never put my DGS in danger and I was shit hot on car seats when he was younger .
Just because you are a professional doesn’t mean you aren’t an idiot!

The roads are so much busier now though. Time was when you could drive to the supermarket and pass only a few cars but it's loony out there now! Anything to reduce the risk to life and limb should be done and anyone willfully ignoring something this fundamental must be a simpleton.

you had to have holes drilled in the car to secure them, but it was entirely possible.

Exactly this. My sister and I were born early 70s, obviously I don't remember what my parents did when we were babies but as older children we had harnesses and straps which were attached to the bodywork of the car. Sort of like a rally driver has. Bright orange, if I remember. My parents always used seatbelts too, even before it was illegal not to.

IMHO it's very unusual to find drivers of any generation who are so ignorant of the risks of unrestrained babies, or who think baby on lap with seatbelt round you both is OK.

I'm fairly chilled out with most stuff. But, car seat safety I don't take likely. I've had a few comments from relatives about my son still rear facing at nearly 3 (I still have zero intention of turning him yet either). There is NO WAY if my parents or ILs took either of my young children in the car without a seat, they'd never look after them again. They also probably wouldn't see them for a long, long time.

Illegal, dangerous, irresponsible, stupid. They put their grandchild at serious fucking risk. Utter assholes. Bombard them with videos, information, whatever to drill it into their heads what could have happened.

I think you just need to be clear that it is illegal and your expectation is that they do not break the law. I would not make a big fuss about it. I grew up at a time where no one used at belts so although my kids have always had to I do not get hysterical about the subject. I did once extract a screaming baby from car seat and feed her when we were stuck in very slow moving traffic on a motorway with no service station for miles and she was needing a feed. I have also taken a child in a lap a short distance in unexpected circumstances when we have ended up with more people than our car seats. Cannot think of a circumstance but I know I have done it.

I think *@nutty44*must of hit their head at some point considering the nonsense they are writing. Probably from not being restrained properly in a car when a child.

My little brother and my mum went through the car windscreen when little brother was 2. They just suffered cuts and bruises, but my brother still has scars on his forehead. He was sat on my mums lap in the front seat, but this was in 1975 when people didn’t use car seats or seat belts. I can still remember my mum not being there to pick me up from school, and having to go with a friends mum. I cried and wanted to go to my grandmas (she lived opposite the school) but not being allowed. I guess she was at the hospital.

This happened because the car skidded on an icy road at about this time of year. I was 4 but still remember it (and I don’t remember much about my early childhood). There is absolutely NO excuse for them to do this. I wonder if they need to be shown how yet car seat works. Maybe they’ve forgotten and are too embarrassed to ask.

@cologne4711
I would give them one more chance but if you discover they've not used a car seat again, then that's the time to get very angry indeed.

What? When their DC is dead? Bit bloody late then!
What a ridiculous suggestion

@Nutty44 you have made me irrational angry, so presumably you dont wear a seat belt either as that hasn't always been law so thats pointless too. I am assuming you are winding people up for a laugh, in which case you are clear stupid and not a professional as no one with any intelligence is that much of a twat.

A load of crap re the 80s as I was born in late 70s and we had car seats. Definitely not a generation thing, my parents are mid/late 60s now and have always used car seats for the kids. They researched and bought their own isofix ones even so they could ensure they were as safe as possible. We bought them seat protectors which are about a tenner as they had leather seats in their car and there was no damage caused.

I would be fuming too, I let my parents look after the DCs as they pleased in most other aspects as dont feel you can dictate to 'free childcare' but if they did that to us then they would not have had them alone again.

My first child was born in 1972. We were hard up and only of average intelligence, but I still did some research and had the best car seat available fitted by a garage.

It wasn't a legal requirement, but why on earth wouldn't you?

I do think my mum says they strapped the carrycot in when we were babies but (as the youngest!) I don't really know.

True. That's how I brought dc1 home from hospital. DC2 three years later was in a car seat