They didn't use car seat!

[jollybobs89]

Ok so DD almost 2! Grandparents looked after her at the weekend for the day asked if they needed the car seat to which they said no probably won't go out!

Anyway turns out they did go out and took DD in the car with no car seat on MIL knee to a supermarket which was probably a 13 mile round trip!

DH has gone mental said it's not acceptable at all which it isnt! Caused a massive row as they said she was 100% safe that they are upset that we think they would put her in danger?! (But they did there was no need to take her in the car one of them could have stayed home) they have said that she was probably safer on MIL knee that she would be in a car seat!!! And said thats just what they do ?! They have numerous grandkids.

AWBU? To be mad re this?? They didn't tell us they'd gone out it was till a few days later we realised from pics they sent of having her.

Just don't want everyone falling out re this! But they won't hold their hands up and apologise they just think it's acceptable

They can’t be trusted. They will keep doing it as they think theyre right.

I would be furious if someone did that will my son and they would never be trusted to look after him in any capacity again.

Ridiculous. 20 years ago my parents didn't question the need for a car seat at all times (we had issues with mil and the booster seat past age 3, but mostly due to the other grandkids parents using a garden cushion because they are plain stupid! She thought I was posh and fussy for insisting on it.). Nip this in the bud now

Ps my brother is 40, i clearly remember him having a car seat!

I wouldn't give them a second chance, especially as they argued with you.

Talk to the parents of the other grandchildren. They may be unaware of the GPs' problem here.

They know their mistake now and won't do it again. I'd draw a line under it now. Don't let it affect the relationship between DD and GPs.

They absolutely should know that's unacceptable.

I'd be telling the parents of the other GC also.

This is obviously very dangerous, to ride without a car seat. Also very dangerous--you told them how to safely care for your child and they decided they know best and decided to ignore you. I would be furious and wouldn't trust them again.

Honestly if it was my parents or in laws they wouldn't see my DD unsupervised again. They put her life at risk, no two ways about it.

Some people can't get over the fact that they never had car seats and seat belts in the back in the past and they all survived. I mean me and my brother's and sister s didn't, where we safe? No we were just lucky we didn't ever have a crash. Even if they are super safe drivers you can't predict road conditions, an animal/person/ object suddenly running appearing in your roadway or someone's else mistake. I'm sorry but I couldn't trust them especially if they argue about this matter.

40! Are you sure? We’re you quite a wealthy family?

I’m 40 and i definitely didn’t ever have a car seat and don’t know friends/family of my age who had one! I just assumed they never existed back then. Although I do remember a (posh) friend having a booster seat but the reasoning was that she was little and couldn’t see out golf the window. Obviously, looking back, her parents were obviously just better educated than mine!!

I clearly remember babies just being placed in a Moses basket on the back seat.

I also remember seatbelts becoming a legal requirement in the back seat when I was about 10/11.

They can’t look after her again unsupervised. They didn’t just fail to use a car seat, they also didn’t even know about the importance of car seats. I don’t buy the generation argument. Their generation didn’t use them but it is fairly obvious that this one does. You see them everywhere, there are campaigns, information on the internet and you offered them the car seat - the biggest clue ever that they needed one. To make things worse they have refused to learn from their mistake. So it wants a mistake, it was culpable and willful ignorance which they refuse to correct for the future. They couldn’t be more irresponsible if they tried.

I would be absolutely furious. What is done is done, but I would look up what the penalty is for driving without a carseat and as pp said show what happens to child crash test dummies not in a carseat.

You can't ever trust them to look after the child again as they obviously see nothing wrong. If they've got other GC tell their parents too.

What dickheads. It's not a generational thing. Carseat for kids that age must have been around for 40+ years, so it's just a mindset thing.

Incredibly unsafe, and illegal.

There is absolutely no way I would be allowing grandparents (either my own parents or in-laws) to look after one of my children after they had done this. Who knows what else they think is acceptable that clearly isn’t?

Totally unacceptable.

I am surprised though you left the GP to look after her all day without a car seat though. When my parents look after my kids, I just swap cars with my mum (rather than having to move car seats). I have insured we are both insured etc... She may or may not plan to go out, but what if there is an emergency or plans change ?

I’m not excusing their behaviour, but if you’d put the car seat in their car (or swapped cars) would they have used it then ?

I just wouldn’t leave my children with my parents (or anyone else) with no ability to travel safely in case of an emergency.

I don't think I'd be giving them a second chance. Even if you fitted a car seat how would you know if they actually used it instead of ignoring it.

Chill out.
I'm 65 and used to take my children to the park, seaside, days out etc without child seats. Loaded the kids and their friends into the back of the Volvo estate and off we went.
Not trolling btw (I'm not stupid and I have a professional career) but this is what we did in the early 80s and no one got injured or killed. The kids loved it.

@Nutty44 🙄

Always one. 'Chill out', yeah ok.

It is not just a generational thing it's a personality thing. My MIL did this because she is a better mother and knows everything. I see plenty of grandparents with children and they have them in car seats even though it wasn't the norm in their generation. Some people just do as they please. There is no excuse.

Bloody autocorrect!!!!!

Oh my. You need to absolutely insist that they use the car seat or she doesn’t go out with them again how old are they? I often hear ‘didn’t have them
In my day and we turned out safe’. Doesn’t make it okay not to use one now though.

I have not so different issues with my mum. My son is nearly 9 and still in a high back booster. He still fits in it comfortably, he’s not tall so he still needs it plus he’s happy in it. If my mum ever takes him out she’ll say don’t bother with the car seat he doesn’t need it now, he’ll be alright without one won’t he? Truth is he is quite short and without one a seatbelt doesn’t fit well so I insist he takes it. My mum has my sisters in backless booster cushions at 2/3. Some people just aren’t car seat savvy but they need educating!

@Nutty44 Lots of people got injured and killed. That’s why the law changed.

but this is what we did in the early 80s and no one got injured or killed

Because you were fortunate enough to not have an accident! What an absurd argument.

I absolutely do not agree it's a generational time at all, more an uneducated, idiotic thing!
My parents are in their 70's and had children in the 60's AND 80's so experienced 2 very different times regarding car seats.
They have grandchildren ranging down to the age of 2 and wouldn't even dream of not using a car seat!

I wouldn’t give them a second chance, their arrogant and will do it again to prove your wrong.