They didn't use car seat!

[jollybobs89]

Ok so DD almost 2! Grandparents looked after her at the weekend for the day asked if they needed the car seat to which they said no probably won't go out!

Anyway turns out they did go out and took DD in the car with no car seat on MIL knee to a supermarket which was probably a 13 mile round trip!

DH has gone mental said it's not acceptable at all which it isnt! Caused a massive row as they said she was 100% safe that they are upset that we think they would put her in danger?! (But they did there was no need to take her in the car one of them could have stayed home) they have said that she was probably safer on MIL knee that she would be in a car seat!!! And said thats just what they do ?! They have numerous grandkids.

AWBU? To be mad re this?? They didn't tell us they'd gone out it was till a few days later we realised from pics they sent of having her.

Just don't want everyone falling out re this! But they won't hold their hands up and apologise they just think it's acceptable

@Nutty44 good user name for you.

Ok, no banging around your car interior. You know best and the law can do one.

And you are NOT a professional with that backwards thinking!

Hopefully Nutty44’s children know that he/she is a selfish irresponsible reckless idiot. Clearly not fit to care for a small child.

@Nutty44 Valuing your car more than your grandchilds life is fine, it will also mean your children know that they will never be able to trust you if they do go on to have children, they’ll also be aware that as you’ll value grandchildren so poorly a relationship with you would probably be detrimental.

Well at the moment DP isn't on talking terms with them got very heated!

They just have literally argued till they are blue in the face!! They even think that because she was on their knee with the seatbelt round her she was secure! That's even worse the seatbelt would have cause severe damage! Just shows how small minded they are!!

Just can't believe how they haven't said yes we are sorry it won't happen again!!

But yeah I do wonder the times where we have left them with a car seat or left the car seat at nursery and they have been collecting her if they have actually put it in!!! Probably not!

It blows my mind how people think well it won't happen to me!

Aside from her not being secured, i presume they didn't deactivate the airbag either? Which would have inflated at over 100mph and slammed your daughter into her grandmother at similar speed? The consequences of that alone could be devastating.

And @nutty44 you are either on a wind up or beyond stupid.

@Nutty44. My parents put my dsis and myself in car seats from birth. We both born in 70s. Theres a reson why car seats are law. Death!!! Cars alot faster now etc. Its law to have the correct car seat. If you want to risk your grandchildrens life i think you find their parents wont let you have them.

Nutty44 professional what? Risk taker? Why would you do this with others lives?

I witnessed an accident years ago and I won't go into detail but you really need to have a fucking word with yourself and be arrested and charged

I was born in 1972, ny parents are now mid 70's - they had and used car sests for us ( me, my twin and our older sister).
They were available to buy for safety conscious parents although not law and we were by no means posh but did do regular long journeys.
OP I would never let them have your child alone sgain!

What does your DH remember about travelling in a car as a child? Did they use car seats for him and for his siblings?

Have you told them that they broke the law? Would they be bothered by that?

It's absolutely not a generational thing. My mum is mid 60s, has 3 grandchildren and would never do this.

Could you try to find one of those YouTube videos showing a crash test dummy of a child not in a car seat?

I wouldn't ask them to babysit again.

Send them a YouTube of what happens to children crash test dummies in a crash

OP do this. This is a good idea to let them see just how dangerous this is. Not only that, its illegal. I'm sure being of their generation they'd tut at others breaking the law yet they are doing just that! If a policeman had caught them, the driver would have got a large fine and they would have received a stern lecture on road safety. You aren't being unreasonable, this is very serious. Its not much comfort after an accident to say "we thought it would be fine- it was only a small drive" is it?

They even think that because she was on their knee with the seatbelt round her she was secure! That's even worse the seatbelt would have cause severe damage!

They clearly don't understand the fact that the body of the adult will be travelling forward at at least 30mph until it is stopped by their grandchild. What did they say when you explained this to them?

Highly doubt they used car seats!

I think they think we are more bothered about the fact that it's illegal rather than the safety aspect as his mum was like yes I know it's illegal but she was safe?!

Well OK I will stand corrected, if this is the norm then fair enough. I don't have grandchildren yet, but when I do I sure as hell won't be knocking my car interior about with child seats, I'll do it as I always did in the 80s.

My brother and I were born in the 80s and we both had car seats.
It's illegal to take a child in your car without a suitable car seat except in some extreme circumstances.
You'd rather risk your potential grandchildren's life than 'knock your car interior about'?

I'd point out you're not questioning their driving but that another driver could cause a crash.

Then I'd show them some videos of unrestrained children in crashes. Young children have been known to fly straight through the windscreen.

Then I'd tell them that unless they can agree to use the car seat every single time regardless of their views that you can't possibly leave her with them again which is a terrible shame and only because they can't be bothered with the car seat.

Maybe they feel intimidated by using it and need practice with the seat.

Not trolling btw (I'm not stupid and I have a professional career) but this is what we did in the early 80s and no one got injured or killed.

Nonsense. I had DS1 in the early 80s and it was universal practice amongst everyone I knew to use child seats. The law was less strict so there were a few people who didn't, and they were precisely the people whose children did indeed get injured or killed in car accidents - I remember more than one awful newspaper report about babies getting flung through car windscreens or crushed by the parent on whose lap they were sitting.

I don't have grandchildren yet, but when I do I sure as hell won't be knocking my car interior about with child seats, I'll do it as I always did in the 80s.

If your children are mad enough to let you drive their children without car seats, fortunately you won't be on the road long. It's three penalty points plus a fine every time you are caught.

I would report them to the police when you know they have the other grandkids. The arrogance of them is astounding. Having a seatbelt around an adult with a child on their lap is about the most dangerous way to travel in a car. Totally ignorant bell ends.

but this is what we did in the early 80s and no one got injured or killed

I completed a speed awareness course yesterday. I was told that in the 1980s 5953 people were killed in road traffic accidents in UK. In 2018 that figure had dropped to 1782. Thats not even including injuries, thats just fatalities. So, roads were MUCH more dangerous in the 80s.
Its dropped because of increased safety measures like car seats and seat belt usage. So, you are completely and utterly WRONG.

Not a generational thing as I have friends and family in their 70s and older who are fully aware of the need of car seats.

Isn't it illegal not to use a car seat?

Isn't it illegal not to use a car seat?

From internet:

The consequences of ignoring the legal requirements could be expensive (at best) or fatal (at worst). Police are able to administer an on-the-spot fine which could be as much as £500 if the case is referred to court.

@Nutty44 and how would you feel if your grandchild was hurt or killed in your care when it might have been easily avoided? It sounds like you don't particularly care either way.

I would push the law aspect. They think she was safe - well the law disagrees, and mandates car seats. So they need to use one when they have her. They should follow your wishes anyway, but stick to the law point, it's less emotive.

I would give them one more chance but if you discover they've not used a car seat again, then that's the time to get very angry indeed.

And car seats don't wreck the car's interior.

I haven't RTFT so apologies if someone has already posted this. (Assume you are in the UK.)

But OP, you might want to show them this which spells out the law: www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules