They didn't use car seat!

[jollybobs89]

Ok so DD almost 2! Grandparents looked after her at the weekend for the day asked if they needed the car seat to which they said no probably won't go out!

Anyway turns out they did go out and took DD in the car with no car seat on MIL knee to a supermarket which was probably a 13 mile round trip!

DH has gone mental said it's not acceptable at all which it isnt! Caused a massive row as they said she was 100% safe that they are upset that we think they would put her in danger?! (But they did there was no need to take her in the car one of them could have stayed home) they have said that she was probably safer on MIL knee that she would be in a car seat!!! And said thats just what they do ?! They have numerous grandkids.

AWBU? To be mad re this?? They didn't tell us they'd gone out it was till a few days later we realised from pics they sent of having her.

Just don't want everyone falling out re this! But they won't hold their hands up and apologise they just think it's acceptable

I think I'm generally really laid back about grandparents doing stuff that I wouldn't with DC just because they don't see them much and I want to facilitate a good relationship.

I would have it the fucking roof if I found out about this. YANBU at all. I can't believe they thought that was ok. And it wasn't even necessary?? There were 2 of them - one could have gone to the supermarket on their own, fgs.

My FIL took our then 2 year old on a 1 1/2 hour car trip just buckled into the back seat

We even put our car seat in his car for her, but he ended up putting our younger nephew in it and DD just on the seat with a lap belt.

DD is 13 now and he’s never been trusted with her since.

but this is what we did in the early 80s and no one got injured or killed

Yes they did. Lots of people did. It happened all the time.

@Nutty44

Did you have a crash? Because if you didn't your experience with your children is pointless.

@Nutty44 I'm a child of that era and remember it well. Lots of people got injured or killed in cars back then. Proportionately far more than now. I wonder why that might be....

Nutty44 - I'm glad your experiences were positive, but actually lots and lots of people did get killed and injured before child safety seats, and still do by people who don't use them. One study I saw said that safety seats reduce fatalities by 71% in infants and 54% in toddlers.

I'm also pretty laid back about how the grandparents look after DD but this would have been a red line for me.

I’m also wondering if they would’ve used the car seat even if you had used it? Do you think they have travelled this way before and this isn’t the first time? I’m Granny to 7 and have my own (age/size appropriate) car seats fitted in my car.
It is not a generational thing!!!!

My dc's paternal grandfather told me that he didn't know what the law was on child car seats but that my dc would "ok" sitting between two adults and being held. He then wondered why I instantly vetoed any unsupervised visits (he also wouldn't go to ths shop to buy his wife Imodium when she got an upset tummy as it he didn't think it necessary, so she was ill longer than necessary). My Dad, 10 years older than him, found out what was required, and helped ne to choose a car seat.

I remember a little girl in my class when we’re were 5 (1985) falling out of the car (literally she opened the door and fell out whilst the car was on a 60mph limit road) she had quite severe head injuries. Lucky to be alive.

I remember there being a lot of drink driving accidents in the late 80’s too.

Well OK I will stand corrected, if this is the norm then fair enough. I don't have grandchildren yet, but when I do I sure as hell won't be knocking my car interior about with child seats, I'll do it as I always did in the 80s.

when I do I sure as hell won't be knocking my car interior about with child seats, I'll do it as I always did in the 80s.

No you won't. You won't be taking your future grandchildren anywhere by car (well, not more than once) or possibly seeing them at all.

I'm not stupid and I have a professional career

I'm assuming that professional career isn't inroad safety.

I assume you also don't wear a seatbelt.

This is the reason my pil no longer look after dd. Id be struggled for abit with the situation. Then one day i happened to be local town a bus ride away. Asked them about how they got there thinkng bus. Fil said mil couldnt walk to bus stop today so they took her in the car. I asked how as the seat they had was for a four plus child not dd at 2. Mil said they put a coat in either side and fil drove slowly! Needless to say dd didnt return home that way! Yanbu

Nutty44 must be some sort of very stupid idiot. Things change over the years. Sometimes things change and it is silly but a lot of the time it is due to science and research that then improve the quality of life and the safety. There are more cars on the roads now. Imagine a small child being seriously injured just because you were lazy and couldn't be bothered putting a car seat in your precious car. Plus it is the law.

Never leave her alone with them . Lord knows what else they might deem to be safe . Bath on her own... falling asleep whilst minding...

"I don't have grandchildren yet, but when I do I sure as hell won't be knocking my car interior about with child seats, I'll do it as I always did in the 80s."

I doubt you'll be looking after them then! Let's hope your kids are more clued up than you.

IT'S NOT A GENERATIONAL THING!!

It's a being stubborn and stupid thing!

Car seats were around (and used) in their day unless they're in their late 70s/80s.

They don't babysit again. Simples.

They probably did several other things you wouldn't agree with if they're admitting to that! I stopped PIL having our DC after a tally of incidents culminating in my nephew sustaining two broken wrists. Their lack of danger awareness on several levels was an eye opener.
Will you be letting them babysit again OP?

@Nutty44 your username is very apt.
If your car interior is more important than any future grandchild's lives you don't deserve to have anything to do with them.

@Nutty44 it is illegal to transport a child under 3 without a car seat. It is against the law now. 1980 was 40 years ago. It's like saying in 1980 you are going to carry on like it's 1940.

It's not a generational thing, it's a stupidity thing.

They haven't given it any thought and that is worse in a lot of ways.

@Nutty44

Chill out.
I'm 65 and used to take my children to the park, seaside, days out etc without child seats. Loaded the kids and their friends into the back of the Volvo estate and off we went.
Not trolling btw (I'm not stupid and I have a professional career) but this is what we did in the early 80s and no one got injured or killed. The kids loved it.

I beg to differ. You are stupid. Having a 'professional' career doesnt prove common sense. I'm late 60s and yes car seats weren't used much very early 80s but by 84/85 they were.
And there are laws about it for a reason.
Child seats don't damage your car, they're easily fitted and they save lives.
I hope you're never allowed out with any future DGC.

My parents are mid 70s and always had me and my sister properly restrained in cars when we were kids. Would never had driven grandchildren without.

It's a very strange attitude in the UK when the message about car seats has been drummed into us for decades. Friends from other countries ofren don't have the same attitude.

'I don't have grandchildren yet, but when I do I sure as hell won't be knocking my car interior about with child seats, I'll do it as I always did in the 80s.'

Apart from the fact that they don't damage the car whatsoever I am gobsmacked at how selfish you are that you care more about your car than your future grandchildren. Quite frankly you don't deserve any!

OP, I would be concerned now that even if you out the seat in the car for them they just won't use it. People like that are idiots. You can't knock sense into them, it doesn't matter what evidence you show them (case in point Nutcase further up the thread!). You can pretty much guarantee that even if they agree to the seat in practice they will find it a faff and just put your DD on laps again. I wouldn't allow unsupervised access again.

News just in Nutty will be building her new house exclusively out of asbestos because 'thats how they did it back in the day' and 'plenty if people I know had asbestos in their house and haven't died'
OP my MIL tried to out my DD in her at the other day without a car seat. I assume she had some kind of brain fart because she knows to use one for my older nephew. I just reminded her she would need to borrow mine and she did. It's the pig headedness of refusing to admit they are wrong that is stopping the issue being overcome!