Working with a woman who weirdly lies ALL the time

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I’ve worked with her for about two years and started noticing it more and more.

For example: she’ll have a call at work. I will obviously hear one side of it as we sit next to each other.

She will then repeat the contents of the call if she is asked (if it’s relevant etc) but completely makes up her side of the conversation. And as it’s none of my business I’ll sit there and think ‘erm that didn’t actually happen’.

But she has now started doing it with me. So for example recently I’ve been at home as I put my back out and she said to my colleague in front of me ‘oh poor balls was so bored she kept phoning me to keep her company’

No I didn’t!

She has met my children and made up conversations to others that she has supposedly had with them.

If I say ‘well no you didn’t actually I’m going to look like a right prick aren’t I?’ It’s bizarre and a complete non problem.

@billy1966 - thank you & here's to straight-talking straight-shooters x

Steer clear! She sounds like a weird neighbour of mine!

There was a woman I worked with who lied about being brought up in Newcastle ( she hadn't been ) as many other people I worked with went to school with her.
She also stated that she had got engaged to a lesser ķnown but now very well known footballer and bought herself an engagement ring. This was only weeks after telling us all that her childs father had died of testicular cancer. I believed her about the death as I had no reason not to but when she said about the footballer I had my suspicions. She stalked a man at our work and caused problems with his then partner. She forwarded people fictitious emails from this footballer to "prove" that they were together from an equally fictitious email address.I actually felt sad for her as without all the lies she was a lovely person and very kind and generous. It was the stalker type behaviour which crossed the line. Now I have seen that she has indeed gone to Newcastle and set herself up as a psychic medium. She used to give people unwanted "messages" from the other side and never did marry the famous footballer.

This sounds so much like someone I used to work with! Just a few examples....

After accepting the job and a month before starting she was telling everyone we were texting all the time and I was really nice (we’d text literally to arrange my first weeks shifts)

We were going out all the time drinking (never went out with her once)

After someone tried to mug me for my car keys whilst locking up she was suddenly mugged that same weekend (spoken to her over the weekend and no mention.

I had a miscarriage and then she did too.

I kept calling her every time I was drunk (never happened and I’m rarely drunk)

These are just the big ones I can remember 😂

I used to work with a woman like this. It was intensely irritating.
She was also a raving hypochondriac; would come to work wearing a wrist support, or a knee support, then stand around looking droopy until somebody asked what was wrong. One day she outdid herself by wearing an eye patch and I had to leave the room to regain my composure so that I didn't snort with laughter.
If you'd climbed a hill, she'd climbed a mountain. If you had a first class degree, she'd practically received the bloody Nobel prize.
She'd invent boyfriends,who we never met, despite inviting them along to social events.
Another invention was her SEVERE allergy to fish - allegedly couldn't be in the same room as any fish products or she'd DIE. Sometimes we'd clock somebody in the staff room with a tuna sandwich & she didn't notice. She survived though. A colleague wanted to get a couple of goldfish in a small tank & she went batshit about her allergy. I'd finally had enough of her crap 7 told her, loudly, not to lick them.
I felt sorry for her, but God she was hard work.

Not "7 told her" "& told her"

@UniversalAunt yes very dysfunctional family! However I think that lie about me shutting the door on my crying DSD - which was supposed to have happened 3 years previous to DH telling me - was only told to him at the time he told me. It was along with a bunch of other lies about past events! However of course most people, unlike DH, would, have thought, “why didn’t my DD tell me at the time”?!

I once worked with someone who claimed to have an MA. He didn't.

That isn't too outlandish but then he said that he went to the Savoy for afternoon tea and met Joan Collins...

My Dsis is like this. She's always done everything, everything has to revolve around her and she is a total drama queen. She lies about her degree, about work, about her age (she's over 10 years older than me but if you looked at social media you'd think she was younger than me!)

She's always talking about how she works with damaged young people, the place she works for does but she's the admin assistant! I love her and she can be really kind when it suits her but she's an overbearing, feckless fantasist to be honest.

I knew someone who did this....a lot. She would say my friend had said stuff she hadnt. I'd been right next to them when she was supposed to have said it. Once the whole family were there and my friend had not even opened her mouth. When another family member came in, she made up this story that my daughter had said this and that...we all knew she hadnt opened her mouth. Noone challenged her. We all just thought it was a bit odd. She would tell us a family member had said they were going to buy us something, when they hadnt. It got to the point when she spoke I would think to myself "is that the truth, or a lie"?

A young woman I knew appeared with a bandage on her arm and said she’d been bitten by a cobra (in Essex?!) . She said the bite became infected but appeared the next day with no bandage and no marks on her arm . She said she’d been in a car accident and her car was a write off but arrived in the car the next day. The lies were so bizarre and she didn’t seem at all embarrassed when she was caught out.

@lindyloo57 If it's Morten Harket I would have said 'Oh my goodness! You're married to Morten Harket?? I had a huge crush on him in the 80s' (Pål and Magne not so much)

I called out a twat trying to bullshit me about being a professional footballer. Bad luck I support the team they played in the cup not long ago. His friends were pissing themselves.

I worked with someone like this too.
One week she told me she'd been diagnosed with bipolar. Then told me about her medication. 2 weeks later she told me she was going to see the doctor as she thought she might be bipolar.

This went on with different lies a million times.

I'm glad I don't see her now, I never knew where I stood.

My mother does this . I wouldn’t mind but she drags me in .
The way people ask me about my Navy career I just know she’s been binging me up . Which would be nice , but

• she’s obviously been begging me up for what she thinks makes her look like the mother of an admiral or something , rather than bugging up what I actually do , so
• I’m placed in the dilemma of not revealing her “exaggerating” and making myself look like a liar , of by revealing it and making her look like one .

Sometimes I manage a fudge such as “bless my mum , but I’m not grand lord love her , though I know she’s proud “

But then there’s the great London Marathon lie of 2014.
We were at a drinks party , whereby she was discussing how she used to run (true) with some people , then claimed she’d run the London marathon.
Of course ,the people were like “oh really , that’s impressive , what year”
To which she replied “oh , in the eighties “
To funny looks , and me not knowing where to look . Because if you’d run the bloody marathon you’d not forget what year .
The people we were taking to obviously knew that , I knew that , and I bet she did . But she had to confabulate because she didn’t know what year it started .

The only thing I can attribute such behaviour - as with your colleague- is covert narcissism .
Watch out then . Contradict her jokingly and kindly - maybe gauge how many other workmates have noticed (because if they do I’d stop worrying ) - because even covert narcs can be very nasty when caught out . Imagine what she could lie about , and to whom .

Titective it was Magne. At the time I didn't know who it was, I never followed the group, I am a good ten older than her, so into different music.

Very worrying to hear if so many similar liars.
“My liar” always managed to turn it around if she was queried and was excellent at being able to deny saying it, even if it was just ten minutes earlier

Without going into the ins and outs of it, a friend of mine and her then DP ended up being evaluated by a psychologist - he had explained a situation to her plausibly, she believed him, the authorities had to get involved and showed her conclusive evidence of the truth. This test showed that he believed his own lies to the point of being actually dangerous - he was plausible because he was incapable of separating fact from fiction. It was interesting (from a dispassionate point of view, godawful to see unfold as she is a dear friend). They said he was high risk of a psychological break etc

I work in a secondary school and the students lie all the time.

I literally witness them doing stuff and they sent it. It's so frustrating.

They said he was high risk of a psychological break etc

That is interesting, sad and scary at the same time. I guess psychosis is by definition being delusional - perhaps lying to the point that you don’t know what’s true yourself is very similar.

Look on this as a test. She is testing you. So far you are failing. Call her out or she will think you are a soft touch, and who knows what else she is capable of.

I think calling them out depends on the person and the situation. My liar neighbour is already hell bent on revenge and is using her lies as a weapon against me. I fear that if I called her out the situation would go nuclear and I would end up with a concocted police report against me.

My only option is low / no contact and removing myself from the situation by moving. It sounds like an extreme measure but I honestly think this person is delusional and dangerous.

I’ve honestly never met anyone else like this in my life before. The crazy thing is that I’m not someone that goes looking for conflict, if anything I need to work on my assertiveness!

Sounds like Dan Mallory

www.independent.co.uk/voices/dan-mallory-novelist-cancer-aj-finn-new-yorker-family-bipolar-a8768386.html

Change of username due to sensitivity of content, just in case.

My DH is a compulsive liar and it's utterly draining. I'm unable to take anything he says on face value anymore but am so tired of the arguments over it that I am increasingly disengageing instead.

Nothing is too important nor too inconsequential to lie about. Some of the time it's to make him look better, more popular, right and I'm wrong, point scoring stuff. However, the vast majority is done to elicit sympathy. If he has a minor injury or illness he'll big it up to the point of ridiculousness, even going as far as seeking hospital treatment and lying about why he was sent home without any. He'll claim he hasn't eaten all day, despite a lot of wrappers suddenly appearing in the car door. I haven't worked out yet why supposedly deciding not to have lunch would make anyone feel anything, but it's an almost daily occurrence.

Someone at work could point out a mistake he'd made and he will blow it entirely out of proportion. I've heard him discussing such things on the phone and he'll relate an entirely different conversation back to myself or our grown offspring. He also lies almost daily to one or more family members about what another family member just said to him. Invariably that's done to make people feel sorry for him or to make the other person look bad in the eyes of the one he's talking to.

He also takes old observation type jokes by comedians and insists those things happened to him, which is often embarrassing for me as I'd think the world and his wife have probably heard that joke, so we all know it's a lie. He even recalls anecdotes that involved other family members rather than him and tells it from the point of view of someone who was there or involved in some way. Yet he absolutely slates anyone who he perceives as having lied.

I think the most hurtful, personally, was when he accidentally butt dialled me while driving along with our adult daughter, and I heard him telling her a whole load of lies about me. How I was being mean to him and forcing him to do odd jobs despite him being ill again or exhausted. He painted me out to be a complete bitch, twisting and outright lying about a conversation we'd had. All the while I'm calling his name and yelling "Can you hear me? Please put your phone down." I was devastated.

I recently stumbled across an article on narcissistic personality disorder and so many things rang true. I wonder how many compulsive liars suffer from this?

I have a 'friend ' like this. I have disengaged somewhat because of the bullshit.
Ridiculous, meaningless lies.
We get together as a group of 3. She will always arrive first. This is to tell me bullshit lies about her life that the our other friend would know for sure is bullshit. Then when other friend arrives these subjects are never raised 🤔.
I have called her out once, she made another lie to cover the lie but was flustered.
I don't see her often. I don't have the energy.......

This is fascinating! One of those rare threads where I have carefully read every post. Hope you all stay safe. Seriously, these people sound dangerous!