AIBU re: lift giving: will she turn up on Friday or not?

[Whiskeychaser]

Second thread.

Thanks for all the support.

Dreading them coming out od school because I can see my dd getting it in the ear from them, and I'm really feeling for her.

Link to first thread to follow in a minute (when I figure it out).

I’ve just read the last thread and now caught up on this one.

I love a good CF thread because I cannot believe the audacity of some people!!!

You have been more than accommodating and you have dealt with this with such dignity considering how awful she has been.

Do not doubt yourself in any of this and good luck tonight

I've been following your threads since the start OP, just caught up, never replied before. I'm genuinely gobsmacked that someone would act like this even after what you've said. I can't believe she didn't apologise instantly and still got in your car home. Then to say shes too tired to do the short walk because she works?! I'd have told her to fuck off by now

@3luckystars your song has made my day! Love it!

I can't believe she didn't apologise instantly and still got in your car home

I can MummytoCJSH - because CFs ARE NOT LIKE US!

They walk among us, but they are . . . different . . . twisted . . . alien, even.

Really pleased to read the updates OP that you stood your ground. As for the CF not wanting to walk after working all day, what the hell happens to the poor dog then? Does it ever get walked? Someone else mentioned if she was genuinely worried for her 14-year-old daughter to walk the few minutes to OP's house, she could accompany her with the dog. Would be a perfect solution for the poor dog to actually get out too.

toomuchtooold that pretty much describes me

I strongly suspect that each and every one of you that's posting "I'd text her and tell her not to let the door hit her on the arse when she fucks the fuck off to the other side of fuck and then fucks off some more" are exactly the people - my people - who in real life would silently fume about this and then end up picking her up at her house at 5.45 for another 3 years

Love this so much and yes, obv.

Only just found these threads.

Wow! Just wow!

And well done op. I think you and your dd have every right to be very proud of yourselves.

Put message on other thread cos I'm a bit dim with technology. Anyway wanted to say. Well done OP. 🎉Dh is right (sorry). I am desperately waiting for the next Update.
Everyone else, I have crisps, cheese and onion rolls and box of red wine waiting, any takers welcome

She is beyond a CF. Blaming you for her laziness.

Bootstraps, if she doesn't turn up today then it's obviously never going to be resolved unless I back down, which I'm not prepared to do.

Holding my breath for later

Just read through both threads and think you’re doing really well OP. This situation could be the making of you when it comes to how people treat you. Some of us need these defining moments. I’ve had one myself and I’m still kind and willing to help people but it’s now on my terms.

Your DD sounds like she has her head screwed on right too, so fair play to you both there.

I get that these threads get a bit of steam behind them and people get giddy because they are incredulous about CFery - same tbf but when MN descends into poems and songs I can almost feel a thread deletion coming on because it always gets into the press.

I had a situation like this with a neighbour.
We shared a garden (mainly lawned) and when I got the mower out, it just seemed so petty to do my half and not hers, so I cracked on and did the lot.
Cue much gratitude and a bottle of wine...all good. However, over time she seemed to forget that I was doing her a favour, the wine stopped, and she took it for granted that I would do it for her.
The final straw was bumping into her in the garden, and her saying snippily “Are we going for the wild flower meadow look now then?” (Grass was a bit long) Fuuuuming I was
I put up a fence.
Sorry not terribly helpful but just showing some solidarity! X

Place marking ...

Wow @CaptainButtock - awful! I love that you put up a fence!

@CaptainButtock - I do hope you said "Well, I'm certainly not but it looks like you are with your garden. It looks awful. If you can't look after it yourself, I'm sure there are plenty of gardeners and such who could cut your lawn at a price" and then go back inside.

How did she react to that @CaptainButtock?

OP, just echoing what everyone else has said that this women is clearly a CF and you have dealt with this brilliantly, both with your messages to her and the way you've handled it with your DD. Fingers crossed for no more drama tonight.

Sorry, pressed post by mistake.

As I was saying, I'm not prepared to back down over this so if the dd isn't here today it doesn't leave me much choice. By withdrawing favours, it would be quite hard for me to continue if I'm not friends with the mum anymore, and I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so anyway.

What are you going to do about the dog?

@allthesharks

She got the right hump cos the fence more or less ruined the garden 🙄
You reap what you sow I say! (Including wild flower meadows 🤤)
Her Dad mowed it after that....

My dd has pretty much been ignored by this dd today, apart from her saying that if I'm going to continue to be so difficult her mum will not allow her to go at all, although she also intimated that they would be trying to find someone else to pick them up if I won't. She then stayed away and didn't speak to her for the rest of day.

I did end up texting the mum today, as I don't want to feel that I've not tried my best, but only because I really feel sorry for the dd, as she's the one who will ultimately suffer for her mum's stubborness.

I've just said her dd is more than welcome to a lift there and back as usual, but she needs to be here by 6pm at the latest, and, as I said last week, is welcome to come here before it gets dark, if that helps. I've reiterated that I don't have the time to pick her up anymore as my schedule has changed, so I hope to see her dd at mine later.

At least then I feel my conscience is clear no matter what happens next as I've done all I can, without rolling over.

I won't be texting again and we'll be leaving at 6pm, with or without her.

Well I wouldn't have texted her again especially after the way your Dd's 'friend' has treated her today.

I actually think that was the right thing to do. That way you’re not punishing her dd for all the petty drama that her mum is stirring.

But you do need to leave it now and draw a line under it.

What are you going to do about Fido?

AryaStarkWolf, if she turns up at mine today, I'll honour the commitment I've already made, but wouldn't agree to it again in the future.

I'll also be less likely to do other favours going forward, knowing what I do now.

If she doesn't, I don't see how I could continue to look after it, so I'd tell her straight away to give her as much time as possible to find someone else.