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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Downside of dog ownership

171 replies

TheFastandTheCurious · 22/01/2020 10:22

A colleague's husband wants a puppy, colleague doesn't, I've told her to not even consider getting one if they don't agree on it. She wants her husband to understand why she doesn't want one and the downsides of dog ownership, I have a dog and as much as I love her, I wouldn't get another. They both work full time. She wants me to get a list together to show the cons and so far I have cost - including food, insurance, vet bills etc., dog hair everywhere, giving up a lot of time to train, toilet training, not being able to leave the dog for long periods, what will they do when they want a holiday, who is going to train it, what will they do when at work.

He wants to just go and buy a Golden Retriever, I've said any reputable breeder would have a waiting list and he'd potentially be getting one from a BYB or farm.

What else am I forgetting?

OP posts:
TheFastandTheCurious · 22/01/2020 20:13

Thank you all, I have copied this thread for her and she's going to chat to him tonight. It appears he's really pushing for this so hopefully once he's read this then it'll put him off.

OP posts:
WaggleWiggle · 22/01/2020 20:25

He needs to research the breed. Without being rude, he’s ignorant. The very idea that a golden retriever is a good breed for a household where two people work full time is absolutely ridiculous. Does he just like the fluffy fur and pretty face, or does he understand that this is a breed with high levels of intelligence and energy, so it will need a high degree of mental stimulation? It’s not going to sit quietly on a rug for eight or nine hours while he’s at work. Even a lunch time dog walker isn’t going to be enough.

CheshireDing · 22/01/2020 20:28

We have a dog and small children, it’s like another child really as he’s the same mentally as them !

I am walking him now at 8.25pm and then I need to go home and do some work before bed.

If we want a cheap few days holiday the dog sitters cost more than the cheap holiday (so it’s not that cheap in the end)

No lie in EVER as the dog needs to be let out for a week by 6am (before his morning walk)

Dog still needs walking Christmas Day/New Years Day when most people might not want to leave the house.

CarolinaPink · 22/01/2020 20:45

The pain when they die can be completely disabling. I’ve always had pets but I’d never had a wee dog all of my own until I got the terrier who died two years ago. We were out walking all the time in the hills. Losing her was just horrific. I know it’s the deal we do when we choose to love a pet, but it almost broke me and I’m still not ready to go through it again.

LEELULUMPKIN · 22/01/2020 20:51

Having the strength to say "Sleep well and Thank you old friend" that's the worst bit.

LEELULUMPKIN · 22/01/2020 20:54

Having said the above, I put myself through it again and again because grief is the price we pay for love and the love, joy and pleasure I get from my dog is worth every single second of it.

AliceAbsolum · 22/01/2020 21:05

I'm considering getting a dog... This thread has put me right off. No thanks.

Sheld0r · 22/01/2020 21:06

If she really doesn't want a dog then she'll end up resenting the poor thing (as well as him for bringing the dog into their lives). They both have to be on the same page. Even if he said he'll do all of the work with it, it will still affect her life massively too. They are awfully tying. Your world will revolve around them and if she's not 100% ready to do that then it's not fair on the dog or herself. Training them takes all of your time and energy too. We didn't find the toilet training too bad at all but the rest of her training has taken lots of hard work. The mess is unbelievable too! Our dog is like a sponge with dirt. We love her to bits but we won't be in a hurry to get another one.

GeraltOfRivia · 22/01/2020 21:18

We have a 9 month old dog in the house. His worst traits include stealing food and belonging stuff from the kitchen surfaces (big dog), chewing everything, humping everything, not listening, shedding.

I love him to pieces, we all wanted a dog, and I knew that the first tear to 18 months would be hard work but my god it's harder than I thought. If DH and I weren't both 100% on board I can only imagine how shit it would be.

TheFastandTheCurious · 22/01/2020 21:48

He is stupid @Wagglewiggle. They were looking after a fully house trained 4 year old Dachshund for 2 days over the weekend, he's decided that he wants a dog and thinks it'll be easy. My colleague is furious about this, she's fully on board with everything that has been said, she's said she's fully prepared to walk out if he won't change his mind

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 22/01/2020 22:04

Tell them to look at only health tested parents, particularly with hip x rays and ask the breeder the co-efficient. I wouldn’t touch a retriever without those in place plus a 0 elbow score.

I think he’s mad to push this when the wife doesn’t want one. You HAVE to agree, it’s as much work as a child!

WaggleWiggle · 22/01/2020 22:21

Good grief. He has no idea what is about to hit him if he goes into it so poorly equipped. I’m totally with your friend - puppies are very hard work and need to be a joint decision!

40somethingJBJ · 22/01/2020 23:16

Today, my lovely almost 12yo dog, threw up her entire breakfast directly behind a closed door. I opened said door, trod in it barefoot, slid about 8ft across the living room and fell on my arse in the trail of vomit!

I had to get completely washed and changed, mop it up and clean the underside of the bloody door where it had stuck Sad

If that’s not a downside to dog ownership, I don’t know what is Grin

Majorcollywobble · 22/01/2020 23:22

@Lunafortheloveogod
I love your post !

1300cakes · 22/01/2020 23:23

hopefully once he's read this then it'll put him off.

I really don't think a bunch of people saying "Well sure I have a dog (or 4) and always have, but it's hard work you know, you would hate it" is that off-putting.

I don't have a dog for all the above reasons but all of the posters on this thread knew all these reasons as well. Yet they all went and got dogs, most of them multiple dogs over the years, and most say they "wouldn't be without them". Its very hypocritical.

Branster · 22/01/2020 23:38

I had a retriever, absolutely wonderful breed, great with kids and perfect for an active family. Can’t fault them really. But they are not meant to be left alone at home for so long, it would be cruel.

A retriever will need around at least 2 hours walking outdoors every day in all weather.
The hair is nonstop and the mud also even if you wash, dry, clean, brush the dog regularly. So you simply have to hoover every single day and clean hair off everything. A robot vacuum cleaner might work to an extent. . I‘d spend up to half hour every day looking after its coat one way or another to mitigate the mess in the house and to make sure the dog looked well. Drying the coat of a retriever takes forever in wet weather.
I adore dogs so actually enjoy doing all this but it is a huge hassle if you don’t actually want a dog.
Working full time with such a breed is not ideal really. They need and thrive on human company. We had a mix of working from home between us otherwise there’s no way the dog would have been left on its own. Going away for the day meant taking the dog to a friend, going away on holiday meant taking it to a home based kennel setup. Even if they get a dog walker it simply is not the same. And would they have time to also clean and dry the dog before bringing it back?

Dogs are expensive, apart from the odd accidents or illnesses, you could be looking at £200/month on average just for food, insurance, checkups, worming tablets fleas treatment etc. Boarding and dog walking is very expensive as well. However, I don’t think this argument would necessarily sway him.

Branster · 22/01/2020 23:42

Oh yeah, I forgot the sick cleaning, occasional but it does happen.
In all honesty, if you like the dog none of this would be an issue as you just get on with it, but if you don’t want a dog in the first place then it would be very annoying.
The puppy phase is not as bad as some people say, it simply requires full time attention and training until they grow up. And it’s fun.
What is not good, is not having the time to spend with the dog, that’s the only reason why they shouldn’t have a dog in the current situation.

Bagofworries · 23/01/2020 00:12

Downsides of my small dog

  1. He refuses to come in from the garden, despite my best efforts. He likes to bark at everything outside, a leaf, a bird, a gentle breeze. His bark is loud and annoys the neighbours but he wont come in when I call him.
  2. Muddy floors indoors. My floors are permanently caked in mud. There is mud up my kitchen cupboard doors and my appliances. The mud gets everywhere.
  3. Dogs do not give a shit what the time is, or that you have to get up for work. If he wants a wee at 3.30am, he will bark and bark and bark until I get up and let him out.
  4. He pulled on the lead for months when he was a puppy and walking him was not pleasant.
  5. They eat poo
  6. Dog smell
  7. Dog farts
  8. Cost, food, pet insurance, flea and worming treatment, vaccinations, grooming, bathing, toys, leads, treats, neutering costs.
  9. The barking when I left him for any length of time.
10. The chewing. Shoes, coats, knickers, skirting boards, doors, beds. 11. If they are not chewing, they are scratching. 12. Dogs vomit. It is not nice. If you dont get to it quickly enough, they will eat it. 13. You will never both have a lie in again. 14. There are so many things that are hazardous to dogs and you have to make sure none of those things are anywhere near the dog. Grapes, chocolate, anything with sweeteners in, batteries, raisins to name a few. 15. Dogs get stressed if they're left alone for hours and hours. You may need doggy day care or a dog Walker.

That's enough off of the top of my head.

Kokeshi123 · 23/01/2020 01:42

Can't the guy join the Cinnamon Trust or do dog sitting for people and get his fix that way?

Like I said, I have just seen too many cases of women being railroaded into accepting dogs that their husbands wanted, and then ending up being stuck with most of the work, cleaning, hoovering, arranging the kennels and dog sitters and dog walkers and trainers...

Herts6789 · 23/01/2020 08:26

Sounds like a major downside is for the dog having to go into a home where it is only 50% wanted.

They need to think about the impact on the dog as well as the impact on themselves.

Zaphodsotherhead · 23/01/2020 08:52

I am trying to move house at the moment and my dog is behaving like a hyperactive toddler, so every single thing is taking twice as long, plus she's insisting on sleeping with me at night to make sure I haven't secretly left her in the night (she's five years old).

Exercise takes a lot of time out of my day. She's a terrier, and so many people think small dogs need less exercise, but, like any working breed, if I don't walk the legs off her every day she's impossible (so we run at least 30 miles a week, but I am really fit now...)

The vet. Just when I think I've got my life in order and my finances sorted and I have a Very Important Meeting, the dog will wake up with some obscure canine complaint that necessitates immediate vet treatment and a vet bill.

I adore my dog. Which is just as well, because nobody else would put up with her...

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