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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Downside of dog ownership

171 replies

TheFastandTheCurious · 22/01/2020 10:22

A colleague's husband wants a puppy, colleague doesn't, I've told her to not even consider getting one if they don't agree on it. She wants her husband to understand why she doesn't want one and the downsides of dog ownership, I have a dog and as much as I love her, I wouldn't get another. They both work full time. She wants me to get a list together to show the cons and so far I have cost - including food, insurance, vet bills etc., dog hair everywhere, giving up a lot of time to train, toilet training, not being able to leave the dog for long periods, what will they do when they want a holiday, who is going to train it, what will they do when at work.

He wants to just go and buy a Golden Retriever, I've said any reputable breeder would have a waiting list and he'd potentially be getting one from a BYB or farm.

What else am I forgetting?

OP posts:
Girliefriendlikespuppies · 22/01/2020 13:18

I think the working full time is the main issue your friend has. You can't leave a puppy at home for longer than an hour, two at a push but even then you're likely to come home to carnage! Day care will not give the owners chance to train their puppy and bond properly.

We got a puppy last summer but I had waited 10 years until the circumstances were right!! I now work from home some of the time, my dd is a teen and helps out with walks, training etc and my mum is semi retired and on hand to puppy sit when needed.

I've loved having a puppy but God it's stressful and relentless.

Flusteredcustard · 22/01/2020 13:20

DNeighbour once had a dog he put in kennels while he went on his hols, never wen on a holiday again as dog had a doggy nervous breakdown.

DD can take dog to work and has a van so is a bit freer, but when I'm taking care of it it is so restrictive, Misses you if you leave it on own, and can't take it into shops nor outside, nor in the car, can't leave at home for more than a few hours, and feel bad when you do as they are upset, they love you so much, and you worry about traumatising them, so many places you can't go, no days out unless someone can look after dog. She manages as she can take to work, and has a van because of dog, and she can call on me if needed, but has to find someone should I be away. Some people with some dogs can manage longer absences by having an outdoor shelter with light and warmth, but even then they wouldn't want to do it regularly.
I love her dog to bits and dog loves me but I'd not get one myself, because of the ties. A household with plenty of people who do things at different times would be easier.
All this without even thinking about costs and poo

fiftiesmum · 22/01/2020 13:24

I agree with cobblers and feel trapped.

We ended up with the dog when FIL died. It means we have to plan every outing around the dog. Visiting our adult children together is out as they live too far to leave the dog on its own.
And as for the volume of poo, I feel my garden is now unaccessible and dread coming home if the dog has been in the house for more than a short period.

Topseyt · 22/01/2020 13:24

Much of it has already been mentioned, but I would just add that puppies (especially retriever type breeds such as golden retrievers and labradors) are power chewers, especially while teething. They are bitey little arses with pin sharp teeth and will chew through anything.

Chewing young dogs can do a lot of damage around the house if the owners are not able to supervise much. I had a labrador from when he was an 8 week old puppy until he died last year at the age of 15 years. He was a gorgeous dog and I adored him, but as a puppy he could chew for England, and he did. You name it, he could chew through it.

I was a SAHP at the time because we had young children. On occasions when I just couldn't supervise him as well as them we had to have a dog crate or he would probably have eaten our house. He did like the crate, and always took himself off for a sleep in it and the door was only shut if I needed to pop out.

However, if these people are both at work for more than a couple of hours at a stretch each day then they can't simply leave the dog in a crate for hours on end.

I don't think this sounds very well thought through. Your colleague is trying to think it through. Her partner not so much.

YummyBelicious · 22/01/2020 13:41

Not being able to let the kids into the garden whenever without having to do a poo check is my most annoying thing.

Likethebattle · 22/01/2020 13:49

I love dogs but you can’t leave them all day whilst you work as it’s cruel. You have to get up every day and take them out whether it’s snowing, hurricanes etc and you have to clean up shit.

Socksorter · 22/01/2020 13:51

My puppy is 16month old and is just starting to settle, she can be left for 4 hours after a good walk, that means every outing including going to work or a night out needs a walk factored in, and then they also need stimulating company and training of course, that in itself is very time consuming and I work flexi and had to rope the kids in to do their share. We got her while mourning the loss of our 13year old dog and totally forgot how hard it is. Cant even be bothered to now try and organise a holiday with a dog sitter! She has also eaten all my eyeliners and i am back to wearing a coat which constantly has muddy paw mark on it
Shes lovely when shes asleep though 😂

JanuaryIsNotTheOnlyMonth · 22/01/2020 14:08

I have a dog precisely because he needs walking twice a day every day (I work from home and sit on my arse a lot).

Today, I'm going to be out for several hours at a kids' event. It's no exaggeration to say that I've timed the day round the dog walking to win myself four hours of probable calm while I'm out.

And bloody hell she costs a lot. Even omitting the time I spend walking instead of working, this last week we have had:
Dog sitter while going out for the day, £20
Emergency trip to the vet on Sunday night for scoffing a raisin Danish, out of hours fees, £290
Cleaning of the already blackened carpet where she was sick on coming home, £65
Dog groomer, £35
Food... I don't think I want to add that one up...

MitchellMummy · 22/01/2020 14:15

The end. That's the downside.

But although I'm sure they'd get doggie daycare if they both work then that itself is a pain. Dogs running riot in a daycare centre, or out with 3 or 4 other dogs for a midday walk.

Maybe they could volunteer to dog walk for a few weeks/months to see how they get on?

LoveNote · 22/01/2020 14:51

we are day 8 of owning our 16 week old labrador pup

jesus!!

its a
whole new world....he is into everything,all at once. you need to be 100 per cent on board for a pup. my household has adults, adult children and youngest is 12. so we have lots of help, we all wanted him though

but its still hard work....we take turns with the night shift as he hates his crate. toys, puppy pads, treats,mess from water bowl, bedding all over the place....he's now discovered the stairs....so stargate required unless i let him roam.

its a challenge and a huge responsibility.....potentially next 18 years.....

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 22/01/2020 15:09

We are currently dog sitting a spaniel puppy, about 8 months old. It's been here since Friday. We are exhausted.
2 long walks a day plus a few other outdoor play sessions. By long... We walk 2 miles. The dog does about triple that running after his ball.
We are covered in bruises. He jumps a lot... And can get level with our heads. He climbs all over us.
The smells... Poo stinks. The food stinks. Damp dog stinks.
We are up to him several times a night. He's missing his owner.

We are looking forward to Friday night!

(As for the plus sides.. he's adorable, we enjoy the walks, I saw an amazing sunset)

notanothershitday · 22/01/2020 15:09

I have a 8 month puppy, his done about £1000 worth of damage so far, I love him to bits but his very naughty, I'm home every day so his not even left alone, my hubby has to walk him in the evenings has his much to strong for me, and he has plenty of toys but chews everything including sofas!!!

KnifeAngel · 22/01/2020 15:13

We lost our dog fairly recently. The children want another but I don't know what to do. I love having a dog but life is easier without one. You have to make sure there is always someone able to let them out in the daytime. We have had family funerals where one of us has had to leave to sort the family dogs out. The hair everywhere even in places they don't go. The cost of food, medical treatments etc. Having to find time to walk them every day. The extra cost of taking them on holiday which we always did but otherwise kennel costs. All that said I really miss having a dog.

DopeyDazy · 22/01/2020 15:50

got a rottie cross and love her but wont have another dog , vets bills, food, cleaning all the while, it takes time and money and on a pension its not easy. Love her though great company and reassurance on your own although she is soft as tripe

Boredisboring · 22/01/2020 16:04

Picking up warm poo. Just that.

Socksorter · 22/01/2020 17:24

Thats is exactly what happened to us, we lost our dog, absolutely gutted and caved in a got a whippet puppy, totally forgetting how tying it is, we were dog free 3 months, and only remembered the easy going old timer who only needed a stroll and slept the rest of the time, shell shocked an understatement 😂

greeneyedlulu · 22/01/2020 18:11

@fish why is she bu for being honest about not wanting a dog? If more people were that honest then you wouldn't see all those ads for the nspca and those poorly treated animals!
No way would I want a dog and there's nothing wrong with that!

SpamChaudFroid · 22/01/2020 18:22

I wasn't prepared for how bad dogs smell. It made me feel quite queasy to begin with. Got better after castration.

I've got used to it now and actually quite like it and sometimes sniff his paws.

Nameychangey2 · 22/01/2020 18:24

I could give you a list as long as my arm but then there's moments like this and I just ❤️❤️ Grin

But yes, I'd say the main thing she'd have to use is that they work full-time. If you aren't willing to get at the very least a dog walker or put them in daycare, it's not very fair.

He's hard work but he's so worth it to me. But I can't imagine not even wanting a dog AND having to put up with all the difficulties it brings. Your friend is not being unreasonable.

Downside of dog ownership
Dylaninthemovies1 · 22/01/2020 18:24

We both work part time so our dog is home alone 3 days a week (she has a dog walker). In hindsight I think it’s unfair on the dog: we adore our girl and wouldn’t be without her, but I wouldn’t get another dog unless we were at home all the time

teraculum29 · 22/01/2020 18:29

if your friend is garden proud, she will need to say bye bye to nice garden as dogs like to dig,they will wee on the grass so it will become yellow and patchy.

fannyanney · 22/01/2020 18:40

Mud, wet walks, hair everywhere, dog vom, smelly dog smells.

LakieLady · 22/01/2020 18:48

I would honestly of had to leave my DP if he didn’t agree to a dog

This. And my DP knows I would rather live in a hovel with a dog than live in a palace without one. And having a dog makes it a lot harder not to have a house that looks like a hovel.

The biggest reason for them not to get a dog is it wouldn't be fair on the dog. They are social animals, and need company.They won't be able to look after a dog properly if they both work f/t.

And (unless I overlooked it) I don't believe drool has been mentioned. I used to know a couple who had golden retrievers. They would slobber and then shake their heads, slinging strings of drool over everyone within a 5' radius. It was like melted mozzarella, and would inevitably score a direct hit on the person present who was smartly dressed in dark clothes.

That's why I went for terriers. A lakeland terrier's gob seals shut like a fridge door, and they never dribble.

Redmarchingband · 22/01/2020 19:19

I puppy-sat yesterday for a friend. In a day the pup managed to dig a hole in the garden, walk mud all over the carpet and bark lots for no real reason. I love her dearly but it’s hard work as you can’t take your eyes off her else she finds a pair of pants/a shoe/a dish sponge and refuses to give them back...

blondiebrowneyes · 22/01/2020 19:37

Dog hair (especially with a retriever)
Having to get up early
Not being able to have spontaneous dog free holidays without planning for the dog (ditto days out)
Having to go out all weathers whether you feel like it or not
Food and insurance/vet bills