Downside of dog ownership

[TheFastandTheCurious]

A colleague's husband wants a puppy, colleague doesn't, I've told her to not even consider getting one if they don't agree on it. She wants her husband to understand why she doesn't want one and the downsides of dog ownership, I have a dog and as much as I love her, I wouldn't get another. They both work full time. She wants me to get a list together to show the cons and so far I have cost - including food, insurance, vet bills etc., dog hair everywhere, giving up a lot of time to train, toilet training, not being able to leave the dog for long periods, what will they do when they want a holiday, who is going to train it, what will they do when at work.

He wants to just go and buy a Golden Retriever, I've said any reputable breeder would have a waiting list and he'd potentially be getting one from a BYB or farm.

What else am I forgetting?

The walking thing is breed dependent though.

DDog get a 30 min walk in the evening during the week, two long walks Saturday and Sunday. He doesn't need two walks a day.

You need to be aware they can develop long term. costly conditions. DDog is diabetic, when he got diagnosed we only had 2k pa lifetime cover. His premium now for the same cover is £60 per month, no one else will insure him. Medication, diabetic food, needles, testing equipment comes in around £80 pm. We can afford it so it's ok but not something I ever considered when we committed to a dog.

He has to have insulin injections at 7am and 7pm. Forever. It's restrictive. No lie ins. Cant go out in the evening until after 7pm.

Wouldn't change him for the world though.,

They both need to be on the same page.

Me and DH both wanted our dog (and he picked her, he really wanted her - she wasn’t my first choice )

However, there was a lot of resentment at the beginning as I found myself doing the majority of walks and sorting the dog out (like her vet appointments and vaccinations) which wasn’t what we had agreed when we got her.

We both had dogs growing up. His family didn’t really walk their dogs whilst my parents would take our dogs on long country walks so he thought it would be OK to just skip a walk and let her out in the garden

We are much more on the same page now and it’s equal but the resentment really is something to consider

seagullonthewind aw - thats so sad - and that letter!

Before we got our dog (died Nov aged 13.5 years) I was prepared for everything practical: the cost, the walking, the feeding, the grooming etc etc. I work from home so no worries there.

What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional attachment. That dog ruled our lives for those 13 years. We never left her for longer than 4 hours (and that rarely), we got a camper van so she could come on holiday, we never left her with anyone or had daycare etc because it made her sad.

The endless guilt. Worse than kids, because at least you can explain to kids that you'll be back, or offer a bribe on your return.

Dogs love with a huge unmatched adoration. Unless you can return it full time, don't even think about it. Unfair on them and you.

That’s true too myearsareburningagain - I forgot about the resentment! I felt so angry with my dh and dc’s because I was the only one doing everything for the dog after they’d all promise they’d help if we got one.
I remember having to walk her whilst I had a stinking migraine because no one else had bothered and feeling like running away to stay in a hotel!
Unfortunately it usually is all left up to the mum.

Housework/housekeeping/cooking, grocery and essentials shopping, relaxing, spending time together.

Your friend obviously wants to find time to relax after work AND sharing (I guess?) all the chores. If her DH spends 2 ours every evening walking the dog she would have to do everything by herself. Call her lazy if you want but she is entitled to it. It seems like when one half of the couple want to do a hobby and the other half stays alone for hours and is left with all the housework.

A baby would turn to a child who would get dressed, brush their teeth and bath by themselves and go to school. Even small kids find it fun to open drawers to help parents sort out the washed clothes. Would the dog respond to "please, give me all your bedding" as a child would?

The walking thing is breed dependent though. But is more individual dog dependent. I have a moderate need for walks dog - he lies! He is alseep now, hates getting up in the morning. But, if I don't take him out shortly, this evening I will wish I had overridden his wishes and walked his hind legs off. He'll play us to distraction

We have a dog. We adore him but ... we're both retired and have all day to look after him, walk him (twice a day come rain or shine), make sure he's safe and well etc etc. We have a great doggy day care near us where he goes if we want a break (DH has occasional hospital appointments, for example), but holidays are dog friendly cottages in the UK. He's NEVER on his own. Having a large, active dog like a retriever when both are at work full time is utter madness.

We've got an almost year old border collie. We've had her 9 months.

We are both mad on her, and wouldn't be without her....BUT

If I knew then what I know now, I don't know if I'd get a border collie. The energy that dog has is phenomenal. It's like having a toddler in the house. Even after two long walks a day (my husband is retired so he does most of it, but I do my share when I can) she constantly wants attention. She will approach you all the time to show you her toys and wanting to play. Believe me it's all the time. You could be sitting down to dinner or on the loo and then this little face comes to you to show you a ball/rope toy/stuffed crocodile. It's relentless. She runs up and down the hall with her toys.

I'll sit on the sofa looking at my table and she'll jump up on the sofa next to me and push the tablet out of the way to say ''ME! LOOK AT ME! GIVE ME ATTENTION! LET ME LICK YOUR FACE!''

You have to ''dog proof'' every room she's left in, otherwise she will either eat, destroy or play with it. The other day, she tried to eat a loaf of bread I'd taken from the freezer. She also loves chewing up toilet roll or any other tissue products and will eat any food left out.

She loves being outside and without those two long walks, she's so superactive. The only time she refuses to go out is heavy rain though is happy to go out in cold or drizzle. At least we get exercise.

The mud. My god, the mud. Even with a coat on she needs regular baths in the winter. And we're in London, not a rural area. Forget having a dog if you're house proud.

This sounds so negative, but to be honest we love her sooo much the benefits far, far outweigh the negatives. The complete and utter unconditional love we get from her is worth it. The pleasure she gets from simple things like chasing a squirrel up a tree in the woods is hysterical. The exercise she forces us to get is doing wonders for our health. The interaction we get with other people when we're out is fantastic....people talk to you when you have a dog, from kiddies to old people. But yes, she's hard work, and unless all parties are fully on board, it ain't going to work.

Looking at my tablet.

I don't sit there looking at the table. Unless there's something wonderfully interesting about it. But it's just....a table.

Lack of sleep when they’re puppies if you don’t want them sleeping with you. They can howl and bark all night until they get used to it. I had to sleep downstairs with my pup and gradually get him used to being on his own. I love my dogs both 5 now and very well behaved but even the most avid dog lover thinks what have I done when you first get them, they turn your nice organised life upside down.

Personally, I think the number one reason they shouldn’t get a dog is that your friend doesn’t want one. Unless her other half is going to commit to doing all the work involved, never ask her to interact with the dog in any way and follow it around with the hoover it just isn’t on.
I have a GR. She is the best dog in the world, never chewed our furniture, toilet trained within days and is just a sweetheart. She’s still a massive tie though. We went away on holiday for a week and she was depressed by the time we got back. It took her a while to be back to her normal happy self again. Our next holiday is in a self catering cottage in the same country we live in so she can come too. A compromise.

Keeping them socialised and taking them to training classes as aell

Bookmarking - DCs are desperate for a puppy, so I need to read this carefully!

My dog comes to work with me. He has separation anxiety (rescue) so whilst we are working with that he literally cannot be left alone. If we want to go out in the evening he goes to my friends house or someone comes to my house to sit with him. If I go out for lunch at work then a colleague has him. If I want to do something alone (right now I’m at the hairdressers for example) I have to liaise with DP that he can have him. It really really limits my freedom, obviously I think he’s 110% worth it.

For me its the walks, I hate being cold so winter its a struggle to get motivated to go for a walk, but if I don't I will know about it.

Then you have the summers, you have to keep him thinking, when you have to keep him in because its too hot.

Also any behaviour issues, we did really well socialising him when he was young and then he got attacked 3 times in very quick succession and it went downhill from there. I still can't allow him near other dogs without a strict way to introduce him, this doesn't stop me having dogs run up to us with the other owner yelling its ok they are friendly.

Because of the issues we were having, we were walking him at 1am and 5am to avoid people, that was something nothing prepared me for.

Also just from my own perspective, any life changes that may happen if they rent for example their landlord might say its ok for them to have a pet now, but what happens if they have to move. You only have to look at any number of threads here where people find it near impossible to find rent homes that allow them to take a hamster let alone a dog.

The resentment is a big thing. My ex has a dog. DD really resents it as they now can't do anything together, e.g. they couldn't go Christmas shopping together as one of them had to wait outside the shops with the dog. So she had to go in on her own, mooch around choosing stuff, and then swap over so ex-h went in to pay and she was left outside in the cold minding the dog. Ex-h has been unable to watch her compete in her (indoor) sport as it would mean too long away from the dog. He's missed an important event for her as the dog needed the emergency vet, and a few regular events where the dog has needed the vet.

I feel really sorry for DD, as it is obvious to her that the dog is given priority over her. And she knows that the dog, unlike a human baby, won't grow up out of this stage. It's a couple of years old now and still dominating their lives.

A lab? Leaving a lab at home and working full time is the fastest way to kiss your bank balance goodbye my mom had to replace a door and a kitchen with a Jack Russell my friend spent thousands on "sock removal" surgery (lab) and we spent hundreds on grass seed removal (spaniel) and we had to do that more than once and neither she nor the lab were puppies when they did that

A morning in the life of a dog owner ....
Well I’m expecting a friend round so I’ve cleaned the whole house and was really looking forward to it. My dog waited for me to wash her bed and hand wash the floors to throw up what ever animal shit she’d eaten when I let her out for a wee (not envy). She stinks and now needs a bath but the last thing I need is wet dog on top on shit throw up in the air. Wouldn’t mind but she’s only went to the groomers on Saturday which cost £50

Yes it my fault I should of watched her as I know she enjoys munching on shit ( not a sentence I ever thought I’d write) but the toddler was giving me a good bollocking while the phone was ringing and I just wasn’t on the ball due to looking forward to some adult company.

She’s still feeling sorry for herself and if she doesn’t pick up in a few hours it will probably be a trip to the vets which will cost £££ that her insurance won’t cover unless the bill goes over £200.

It’s a good job she’s cute.

I got another pup beginning of December. I have spent several hours a day toilet training general training playing socialising. He hasn't been left at all yet. They absolutely cannot get a puppy and work all day. It's beyond cruel.

A reputable breeder would not sell a puppy to a home where the animal is alone all day.

Not read the whole thread so sorry if this has already been said.. I have a collie who I love to bits and I also look after dogs as a job. Luckily I live in a very dog friendly place, but when we have been away or visiting people I have realised quite how many people dislike dogs and have no problem with telling you.

DH had some friends who we were meant to be visiting for weekend and the day before we went we got a list from about 'ground rules.' It was things like our dog not being allowed on furniture or to poo in their garden, all very reasonable but I couldn't help but be affronted that they decided to point it out (especially as when they'd visited us a few years before their toddler had put a jam sandwich in our DVD player!) We would never in a million years let our dog do the things on the list, and they should have hopefully realised she didn't do them at home either, but it was like they were doing a huge favour by letting us bring her.

We decided to 'postpone' in the end!

You'll be paying for the vet's new Mercedes as well as all that handling of dog excrement
😖🤮🤢😖

You should have sent their list back wth "No jam sandwich incidents" added

I didn’t have a dog when I worked. It wouldn’t have been fair. I got an adult rescue dog when I had to retire for health reasons.

Having her forces me to take exercise. I am fortunate I have people who will have her when I am away for the day or on holiday, but it still takes organising.

Will I get another - probably. However not a puppy, and a smaller one.

Don’t underestimate the work involved.