Annoyed with DH

[Rosebel]

Still suffering morning (all day) sickness although not every day. Had it bad today and still my husband invited his mother round for tea. I assumed that he would cook, knowing I felt shit which he did after I asked him.
When he gave his mum the pie he said sorry there's no veg because I hadn't cooked any. He then sat down with his tea and I said did he do anything for me and he said no

I didn't want to make a scene in front of his mum so am just sat here feeling hungry. I just feel like he has no concept of how I feel. But maybe I'm being a bit unreasonable and lazy. Maybe I should have cooked tea and made sure he did veg? Maybe I should have asked if he was doing me some tea?
I feel like he deliberately did a poor job to prove he's incapable and I should do everything but perhaps that's unfair. I don't know I just feel like he's pissing me off a lot at the moment but could just be that I'm being a bitch. Am I right to feel pissed off or does your partner need things spelling out for them? I'm less annoyed he didn't cook for me, I'm more annoyed he expected me to cook and entertain his mother who I'm barely talking to anyway.

There's nothing to be confused about.

You managed without him before, you can do it again.

He'll only make your life harder when the baby's here.

Occasionally being a decent human is not good enough cause to stay with someone who is utterly cruel to you while pregnant and who is abusive to your young children to punish you to control your behaviour. You need out of this mess.

Please don't let your daughters grow up to think this is normal behaviour. If he hit you, the man should be serving time not entertaining his awful mother.
You deserve better and your children do. If you won't leave for yourself, please leave for them.

Fucking hell, you're making him a baby and he can't make you dinner. I can't advise you because the only way I know to make the situation better is for you to leave and I know things aren't always that simple but he's an arsehole and I hope you do leave him.

Jesus OP, I've just sat and read all the posts you've made over the last few months! What on earth are you still doing there!? He's hit tou multiple times(but only once infront of the kids, so it's ok ), he does fuck all around the house, he is emotionally abusive and has a batshit mother who goes from evicting you from her home to a few weeks later wanting to be a birthing partner!? He let your 11 year old autistic daughter cook her own dinner, for ffs. Take your children away from this toxic environment for the love of christ. Go to your parents and finally tell them about him hitting you!

He's scum. He's abusive. You owe it to yourself to leave him, but if you're too blinded by him occasionally not abusing you then please realise that the only thing a decent mother can do in this situation is leave him. You are the only hope your children have. You have to protect them from him.

Your children deserve so much more than this. They can’t do it for themselves yet, they need you to step up for them and do the right thing by them. Don’t let them down, don’t subject them to this scum any longer.

If you allow yourself to be treated badly, that’s sad but ultimately it’s up to you. However, allowing your children to be treated badly is another matter entirely.

You say you hope it’s a one-off. Given the history, it’s clearly not going to be. It’s a sign that he’s not really changed. You’re allowing your children to be made to feel as if they don’t matter and if you allow that to carry on, it’s unforgivable.

I’m sorry to sound harsh but you need a reality check. You’ve been sucked right back in again and this will only get worse once more.

If you won’t get out for your own sake, do it for your children.

I don't normally comment on these things. Imagine as a mother sitting down to a pie and realising that two children and a pregnant woman haven't been fed. And then sitting and enjoying the pie anyway.

He's learnt from his mother and your children are learning from their father. What is it teaching them?

Jesus wept! You need to leave this man. Sorry to be so harsh but what are you doing procreating with this shit stain of a man?? Think of your daughters! Poor, poor girls.

Ive not read your past posts but if what other posters are saying is true

Then you really do need to leave OP, what hes done yesterday was manipulative and abusive,

It wasnt about cooking tea, it was a deliberate act to embarress and punish you. His mum should of said somthing too

Its hard and its scary but have you started putting a plan of action together to leave?

The council offer help with the bonds for private rented houses, you state you work anyway so hopefully you have seperate finances

Look into the freedom programme

Where is your mum? And your friends?

You need to start a plan of action to leave, your DD is already 11, shes had 11 years of thinking this mans behaviour is "normal" do you want her to marry someone like your DP?

Please make a plan, you can do it x

Leave the bastard.

You know what you have to do. I don’t know why you’d go back to a violent man but now you know he hasn’t changed and it WILL ramp up. Leave

We both work although he does do more hours than me but then I do pretty much everything at home.

No surprise there.

What a horrible, selfish, charmless, petty pathetic excuse for a man.

His comment about you're feeling sick so you won't be feeling like eating is simply his nasty way of punishing you as he didn't want to lift a finger and anyway that's your job isn't it? He doesn't see it as his responsibility.

Poor you and your daughters. I know it's easy for us to type but please think about leaving for your sake. He will be a terrible father.

He doesnt care about any of you hes shown that in this one night! why do you care about him? I would be embarrassed if I invited my mommround for dinner and only made us two somthing sat there eating it while the 11year old was in the background making dinner for her and her younger sister also saying to partner no I didn't make you anything because you were too sick to cook so thought you were too sick too eat.
I just could not do it I would feel embarrassed and awkward the fact he sees nothing wrong screams volumes.

They never changed your confused because you believed his lies crying and begging and now the monster is back , if you let this slide your opening the doors back to your old life with the physical abuse. Leave before it's too late op it's not going to get better

OP, I hope you're ok. I know some of the comments may come across as harsh given the circumstance but sometimes telling someone straight is much better than skirting around the issue. You surely know you should not be with him. You've mentioned before that when he last hit you, you went and stayed with your parents, so you clearly have support there. Put yourself in control of your life. For your sake and the sake of your children. Show your daughters that it's never ok to accept this kind of abuse from anyone. It may seem like there is no way out, but there is always a way out. If you're not ready to talk to your parents, ring the local womens shelter or DV charity.

Why didn't his mother shout at him?

Badly brought up spoiled man child you got there.

This is not going to go well. Would you consider a termination at all?

Even if no, There are lots of lovely men out there, you could start again without this selfish entitled twat in it.

Awful. The other day, my husband grabbed some McD's on the way back from taking the kids to a museum. He texted me to see if I (his working from home, pregnant wife) wanted anything, but I was in a work meeting and didn't get his text until he was already leaving the restaurant. He came home with stuff for him and the kids, but none for me.

The moment he saw my sad "wait, none for me?" pregnant lady face, he was instantaneously apologetic, offered to go grab something for me right away even if it meant his went cold, offered to share half of his or even give it to me outright. I waited til the kids finished theirs and had their leftovers, and didn't resent my husband over it because he would HAPPILY have gone and gotten me something or given me his, no resentment or ugliness, if I'd said I really needed it.

It's ok to make a mistake, even an insensitive one. The important thing is recognizing the insensitivity and reassuring the person you're with that this was a moment of blindness and stupidity (which we all have from time to time, about something or another!), not an overall pattern of being unaware or unconcerned with your needs.

I had an abortion when I was 22 and the guilt still haunts me. I already feel connected to the baby and couldn't go through with a termination again. I don't think I can go back to my parents. They're in their 70s and it's unfair to turn up with 2 children and another on the way..
It sounds easy when people say leave but it's really hard and I've already messed my poor babies about so much. I don't want to screw them up by changing their environment all the time.
I know it sounds stupid but when my husband tried he really is brilliant.

He doesn't sound brilliant op. He sounds mean, lazy - oh and abusive.

You need to raise your standards and know you are worth more than this.

Your girls are worth more than this.

You will screw them up for life if you stay with him.

OP, you owe it you yourself and your DC to get away from this monstrous excuse for a human being. Your children deserve to grow up in a happy and loving environment.

He's no father to them. He's no husband to you. What he is, is an abusive tyrant who doesn't care about you or his children.

Speak to your parents, I've no doubt they'll do everything they can to help you and the children. My mum is 70 and she wouldn't let me stay in an abusive marriage.

This useless, abusive piece of shit hit you on numerous occasions, including in front of your children and you have gone back to him and are now pregnant.

What possessed you to do that? Where's your self respect? What do you think your children are learning from this? By his actions he is showing you zero thought or respect or love.

You and your children are worth and should expect more, not the dredges from neanderthal man.

I've already messed my poor babies about so much. I don't want to screw them up by changing their environment all the time.

No, what will mess them up, is seeing their mother abused at the hands of their father. That is far worse than up and leaving with them. They're your parents, what would they say if you told them about all this? I bet they wouldn't feel like it was unfair to go to them whilst you got yourself sorted. Its no good in saying that when he tries, he is brilliant. The man is abusive. He doesn't deserve to have you in his life. Is this the life you want for your children? I know I certainly wouldn't. You're worth so much more than this. Plenty of women up and leave everyday and they get by and make it work. You can too. What do you actually need him for?

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

What a dick!