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AIBU?

Annoyed with DH

141 replies

Rosebel · 21/01/2020 20:41

Still suffering morning (all day) sickness although not every day. Had it bad today and still my husband invited his mother round for tea. I assumed that he would cook, knowing I felt shit which he did after I asked him.
When he gave his mum the pie he said sorry there's no veg because I hadn't cooked any. He then sat down with his tea and I said did he do anything for me and he said no
I didn't want to make a scene in front of his mum so am just sat here feeling hungry. I just feel like he has no concept of how I feel. But maybe I'm being a bit unreasonable and lazy. Maybe I should have cooked tea and made sure he did veg? Maybe I should have asked if he was doing me some tea?
I feel like he deliberately did a poor job to prove he's incapable and I should do everything but perhaps that's unfair. I don't know I just feel like he's pissing me off a lot at the moment but could just be that I'm being a bitch. Am I right to feel pissed off or does your partner need things spelling out for them? I'm less annoyed he didn't cook for me, I'm more annoyed he expected me to cook and entertain his mother who I'm barely talking to anyway.

OP posts:

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madcatladyforever · 21/01/2020 21:55

he's going to be a great dad then, don't expect him to do anything when the baby is born.

Shayisgreat · 21/01/2020 21:55

Gosh. I thought my MIL didn't like me but she would never have seen DH act like that wothout comment! Your husband was an arsehole this evening.

gamerchick · 21/01/2020 21:56

He behaved like a cock in front of his mother knowing she doesn't like you. It was a big fuck you. When the reality is, he really made himself look like a dick to his mother by not feeding his pregnant wife and doing a poor job. You could go one further and say he showed her up for not doing her job properly while raising him.

You are going to have problems when the baby comes with the pair of them. They're going to tag team you when they feel like it.

Nip it in the bud now or he can go home to mother.

Rosebel · 21/01/2020 21:58

No he didn't cook for them either. They don't like pie so my 11 year old cooked for her and her sister. I didn't realise that at the time. That upset me too as it's like she's more competant than her dad.

OP posts:

TheReef · 21/01/2020 22:00

Your 11 year old was left to cook for herself and her sister! I'm sorry but that would be a game changer for me tbh.

Winterwoollies · 21/01/2020 22:01

He didn’t cook for his pregnant wife or children, just his hideous mother, to make a nasty point? Wow.

LemonTT · 21/01/2020 22:02

This really isn’t the worse bit about him. This man has hit you in the past.

tenlittlecygnets · 21/01/2020 22:04

You need to sort this shit out before you have his baby.

You do almost Everything at home? Make a list of jobs, split them up so your h isn’t quite so useless. He should be ashamed of himself to be so frigging useless.

Why don’t you and his mum get on?

tenlittlecygnets · 21/01/2020 22:05

He didn’t cook for his dc?? What a selfish bellend.

SpaghettiSharon · 21/01/2020 22:05

Wow. What an arse. If any of my boys did that to their wives I would be fuming and embarrassed - how could she condone that behaviour?

I couldn't stay with a man like that, but it never fails to amaze me what women will tolerate in their partners .

Ohtherewearethen · 21/01/2020 22:06

Good grief this takes some beating.
He has made it very clear where you and your children come in the pecking order. It's up to you whether you choose to see him for what he is or choose to stay with him. He's a spiteful bastard with a very obvious cruel streak. Probably best that you don't raise your children under his influence.

fuzzymoon · 21/01/2020 22:13

That's just plain awful and if this is not a one off then he's abusive.

geekone · 21/01/2020 22:14

OP your husband is abusive, you know this, he has hit you in the past in front of your children and you went back and now you are pregnant so he has you where he wants you.

This isn’t going to get better, this is a symptom of what he thinks of your and his daughter.

You need to leave for your children’s sake.

FenellaVelour · 21/01/2020 22:16

I do believe men genuinely are wired differently.

It’s beliefs like this which enable some of these men to get away with it. Funny how they manage to make their men brains work when they have to function in their jobs etc.

Cuppa2sugars · 21/01/2020 22:18

Well f he’s annoyed that he has to do more now whilst you’re pregnant, he’s in for one hell of a shock when the baby is born!!!

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 21/01/2020 22:20

My MIL would have absolutely torn a strip off my DH if he'd done that. He sounds really bloody shit and rude.

Rosebel · 21/01/2020 22:22

The pregnancy wasn't planned at all. I know what you are saying but until a couple of weeks ago things were really good between us. When we got back together I was wary but he hasn't hurt me since.
As for his mum she's always hated me. Accused me of stealing her son and using him to have a baby. While we've moved on from that she just makes it obvious that I'm not good enough for her son.

OP posts:

Iris27 · 21/01/2020 22:22

This is one of the worst things I've read on here. You deserve so much better OP

Wildorchidz · 21/01/2020 22:25

When we got back together I was wary but he hasn't hurt me since.

That was only 4 months ago. He assaulted you in front of your child. She had to cook dinner for herself and her younger sister. What do you think is going on in her head?

geekone · 21/01/2020 22:27

OP I am sorry I didn’t mean to say you planned it, but that it means he now doesn’t have to pretend to be nice anymore, he has you where he wants you and this is just the start, he will hit you again. This is just another way of controlling you and making you miserable.

You know you need to leave for your DC sake, but you won’t do that because I said so, you have to figure it out for your self.

None of this is your fault.

LemonTT · 21/01/2020 22:27

You do realise that your kids will leave once they are old enough and never look back. Staying with him means you will lose them.

Go back to your parents.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 21/01/2020 22:31

Awful behavior

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dazza1million · 21/01/2020 22:32

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Leah91 · 21/01/2020 22:32

You are good enough. You are better than this. You deserve better than this. So do your children. You deserve to be loved and cared for and accepted into a loving family. He does not deserve you. He treats you like your needs are worth less than his, that's unforgivable. You know it's not right, trust your instincts. Better off alone than with someone who treats you like you're second class.

Smelborp · 21/01/2020 22:38

Who does he think he is?

He expected you to cook veg for a dinner he isn’t prepared to share with you, and he tried to shame you for it in front of his mum?

Wow.

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