To be upset about the name for my nice

[MadHouseUpNorth]

My sister had a baby girl last week and announced the name today. The middle name is the same as my other nice first name. AIBU for being upset over this? Girls have always been preferred in the family. I have boys that nobody really cared much about them and I feel a bit left out... Not that I would expect her to use on of the boys name for her baby girl’ middle name but seems like a really insensitive decision...I’ve also left the house for uni at 18 and never come back, while the two of them stayed and are quite close together. I’ve not been asked to be a bridesmaid at her wedding either and it’s all coming back to me today. Tell me do I behave like 5 year old?

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Do you rather mean the new child’s second name is the same as your other SISTER’s?

[littlepaddypaws]

some pp are being awkward for the heckof it. you have felt left out for years from your family, a new arrival hasn't changed or started to close the gap, you've beenlow contact for years. it really is time to left this go and move on, be the better person for your own ds. just because you are related doesn't mean you have to get on, sometimes relations are impossible.

[agonyauntie2020]

OP posts, more than half the replies say some person of sorry? I don't understand what you've written? or Is this what you mean? If so, xxx.

And OP can't be bothered to explain her confusing to most initial post? Despite people obviously wanting to understand, help, offer advice. OP ignores requests for clarification.

If she's this way with the sisters, maybe this is why this niece is not being named how OP wants (although I, like other posters, cannot make head nor tail of her OP).

[agonyauntie2020]

*some VERSION of sorry
Ha ha, guilty of same confusing posting. Pot, kettle etc. Nevertheless, have re-read and corrected immediately.

[tenlittlecygnets]

@BohoBunney amd @sleepylittlebunnies - what a coincidence that two bunnies are about the only posters to be kind to OP.

It's obvious that OP has feelings of rejection and sadness going back to childhood, and I don't think it's helpful to tell her she's over-reacting or being silly. It's not about the names at all.

OP, do you think some counselling would help you? Do you get on with anyone in your family? Do you have friends and a support network?

[TimeForPlentyIn2020]

Good god, why are all these replies so obtuse?! It’s obvious what she’s on about and since when was it cool to all pile on someone who is upset? Get a hold of yourself people!

[Dacquoise]

Hi @MadHouseUpNorth, you don't sound like a five year old. You sound like someone that's been deeply hurt by your family dynamics and this whole naming business, whilst trivial to outsiders, is triggering you in some way. Perhaps bringing up feelings of rejection and abandonment. Do you feel like you don't belong? Were you hoping to be included in your sister's life by being part of your niece's naming in some way and having a special part in the wedding?

[MulticolourMophead]

agonyauntie2020 OP's first post was about 50 minutes ago. Perhaps real life means she hasn't had chance to return yet. We're not all glued to MN permanently.

[AllergicToAMop]

You are LC what do you want from them🤷

[TheMustressMhor]

Well, I'm sorry - and I'm really not being obtuse - but I still don't understand what the names of the babies have to do with the OP being upset?

[BumbleBeee69]

I don't get it.....................................

[Tartyflette]

Sorry OP but it seems obvious to me that if you left home at 18 for uni and haven't been back much since while your sisters stayed behind, they will naturally be much closer to each other than to you.
It's sad if you feel your DC are being left out, (and you too) but I think it's at least partly up to you to arrange some increased contacts with your family and see how it goes.
I could see one of your DSis posting on here saying 'my sister who I hardly ever see wants to be my bridesmaid after xx years of being low contacts. AIBU to refuse? '

[AutumnRose1]

“ It’s obvious what she’s on about”

No, it isn’t. People are allowed to choose names for their children. What is the problem?

[MadHouseUpNorth]

Thank you to those of you who were kind and tried to understand . The rest, well you’ve surely never spelled a word wrong in your life. Or posted a confusing message when you were feeling under the weather. I shall go back to my hole.

[GrannyBags]

Ok, I have a Granny Elizabeth. One cousin has a daughter Elizabeth Louise. One has an Evie Elizabeth. I have a Matthew Jacob. Elizabeth and Jacob are family names but only I have used Jacob.
Am I getting the facts Op? I’m v confused

[littlepaddypaws]

mad aibu brings out the best and worst in mners, some just like the bitchfest, please don't let them put you off.

[diddl]

Is it a family name?

Maybe they just both like the name?

I doubt that there's hidden meaning or proof of how close they are.

But you're low contact-why would you be asked to be a bmaid?

[TeetotalKoala]

Tell me do I behave like 5 year old?

Yes.

[andyjusthangingaround]

@MulticolourMophead
agonyauntie2020 OP's first post was about 50 minutes ago. Perhaps real life means she hasn't had chance to return yet. We're not all glued to MN permanently.

oooo.... guilty as charged!

[Tartyflette]

Autumn I thought the OP's problem is that she is more or less estranged from her otherwise close family, and feels sad about it especially now that she and her sisters all have DC.
She feels that she and her DC are left out of things and the baby naming/bridesmaid issues have brought it all up again for her.
I see her point in a way, if it were me I'd like my DC to get to know their cousins, at least.
I may be wrong.

[AutumnRose1]

Tarty I’m surprised you got all that from the OP posts.

OP if you want to be more involved with family, step forward. Surprising things have happened in my family after my father’s death. You don’t need a dramatic excuse either. But you might need to say how you feel.

[Lobsterquadrille2]

No, you're not behaving like a five year old. In fact, it sounds as if you've been the most independent of the three sisters by leaving home and bringing up two boys alone, with what sounds like little support or contact. Could you suggest a coffee with both your sisters as an olive branch? They quite probably have no idea of the isolation you have always felt, because you have just got on with everything. I really hope you can work something out.

(One of my niece's middle name is my cat's name. I always tell my brother that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery 😀.)

[katy1213]

You sound like someone who's had a drink (and is behaving like a five year old).

[TheMustressMhor]

So you've returned to your thread but (I am only talking for myself) have not clarified what it is you're upset about.

You say you'll "return to your hole".

You do sound very unhappy about something. Can you expand on this so that people can try to help?