To be upset about the name for my nice

[MadHouseUpNorth]

My sister had a baby girl last week and announced the name today. The middle name is the same as my other nice first name. AIBU for being upset over this? Girls have always been preferred in the family. I have boys that nobody really cared much about them and I feel a bit left out... Not that I would expect her to use on of the boys name for her baby girl’ middle name but seems like a really insensitive decision...I’ve also left the house for uni at 18 and never come back, while the two of them stayed and are quite close together. I’ve not been asked to be a bridesmaid at her wedding either and it’s all coming back to me today. Tell me do I behave like 5 year old?

[jamesforagirl]

There are 12 people in our family with the same middle name and one person has it as there first name - Don't see the issue.

[Bluntness100]

Ok so one sister gave her daughter the middle name of the other sisters child's first name, and it's upset you?

I think you know in isolation that's not reasonable but it seems to have brought back that they are close and you're not part of it.

Clearly she couldn't name her daughter after your boys though, so maybe you're picking the wrong hill to die on,

[Footiefan2019]

Sister 1 has a daughter called Amy Rose
Sister 2 has just had a daughter and called her Lola Amy.

For example? Am I getting this right?

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

"Girls are more preferred in the family."
I'm sorry but your family sound like a bunch of ungrateful weirdos. Whats so wrong with little boys. I've never understand that preference for One gender over another. Maybe I'm the oddity.
Rregarding the the middme name I do see where you're coming from. I know 3 sisters all with the same middle name. Mind you I dont know what their mum would do if if they all decided to go by their middle name. Which is something you're absolutely allowed to do. She'd have 3 daughters called Marie

[Walkerbean16]

My 2nd daughters name is my 1st daughter's middle name. I just really liked the name. Maybe your sister was the same.

[Pukkatea]

I think you're seeing a personal slight where there isn't one, OP.

You said yourself that you moved away and have been low contact with your sisters. Unless there is more to that story in terms of how they have behaved towards you, you can't really expect to be as close to them as they are to each other. If you want to change that, and it sounds like you do, you need to put in the effort.

The name is a red herring. Unless it's a super unusual name it probably just went well as a middle name and they both liked it. Nothing more.

[mummumumumumumumumumum]

maybe your sister actually loved the name 'Rose' your other sister knew that and used it first so now she has called her daughter Emily 'Rose' as an up yours to the first sister. You are not really involved with these sisters so dont know all the politics. Dont worry about it xx

[Mischance]

Move on indeed!

You have some historic gripes about your family and are using this non-event (niece's middle name) as a focus for all that. You need to move on with your life and stop letting all this get to you. It is an enormous waste of your life to be dwelling on this - you only have one life and it will go by in a flash.

I am a grandma now and know how quickly life goes by. And two of my seven GC have the same name - no-one cares a jot - better things to think about!

[Autumn2019]

I can see why you are upset OP. Sometimes friends are closer than family. You can't choose your relatives, but you can (thankfully) choose your friends. So make lasting friendships with people who treat you like a sister. Don't keep looking into what your two sisters are up to. Just carry on with your life and your own friends. You don't have to be a part of their little "gang". I know it would be nice to be included but you can't make someone love or like you or change their prejudices. I think it's quite common in families where there are more than two siblings for some siblings to be closer. I have seen this happening in quite a few families. Actually the reverend in my church has quite a few siblings and was telling me the other day that some of them only talk to some and blank the others. Of course there are families where all the siblings get along great, but it isn't always the case. Try not to worry about your sisters and be thankful you have your own lovely family and life.

[Ellisandra]

The names have got nothing to do with it, you’re upset because they’re a gang of two.
Who knows it that’s reasonable or not?

I’m one of 6, there are multiple combinations of who gets on with who, or spends time with who, and for what reason.

A&B are together more as they’re closer I’m age and live in the same town. C&D holiday together as they have only children. E&F are best mates - personalities so similar.

It’s not unreasonable for them to be a natural fit together, moreso than than they are with you.
It’s possibly unreasonable not to make more effort to see you when you visited with your baby, and possibly unkind to have one as bridesmaid and not the other.

If they leave you out in a way that amounts to bullying - or course YANBU.
If they leave you out because they’re just closer to each other - YABU. (though I’m sympathetic that that would hurt)

[cherish123]

What do you mean - other nice first name? You can only have one first name?

[cherish123]

.. not ?

[cherish123]

Sorry just read thread and realised typo -niece not nice

[Lincolnfield]

I have three sisters. I’m the youngest and the one ‘above’ me has always been horrible to me. A few years ago I had been seriously ill and one of my other sisters arranged for the four of us to go out for lunch to cheer me up. I’d had cancer and hadn’t been out anywhere really except hospital for five months.

Sister in question never even asked how I was. That just compounded years of hurt. I really loved and admired her - I always thought she was really beautiful- but, all my life she put me down, insulted me, and hurt me.

I was heartbroken that particular day but didn’t let her see it. I saw my Macmillan nurse (amazing people truly!) and cried my heart out to her about my sister. That wise lady said, ‘You can’t change how she behaves but you can change how you react to it.’ It took me a little while, I was very ill remember, but I kept thinking about what she’d told me and d’you know? It really helped. I rarely see that particular sister. I still love her and wouldn’t hurt her but I prefer to keep away from her if I can. You see, I have changed how I react and honestly OP I feel so much better and that aching pain of wanting her affection has completely gone.

Sorry for long post but I hope it helps. 💕

[Tiredoftalking]

I have 3 boys, hope that they all manage to have healthy relationships as they get older. Although from my friends I do see the difficult 3 being more a girl thing maybe? I am one of 2 and we aren’t particularly close but it’s never mattered much as we have a close family that keeps us in each other’s orbit without having to do much hard work.

[Tiredoftalking]

So maybe you could work on a way to being with them with other family members or friends or children and make it less about the 3 of you?

[Shell4429]

Look on the bright side - you won’t be responsible for your parents when they are old as they are closer. I learned to my cost what living close to parents in their old age is not much fun.

[YesThatsATurdOnTheRug]

Everyone being an arse on this thread is deliberately missing the obvious explanation in the OP of her being left out by her sisters and feeling less important, excluded, unloved. It does not take a strong intelligence to interpret the wording. Grow up and be kind.

OP I'm sorry you feel this way with your siblings, they don't sound like nice people. I would focus on friends and other people who value you instead.

[Fanniesyeraunt]

madhouse - take no notice of the nasty people on here - I understood your post.
You’re basically feeling left out because one of your two sisters who are close has called her baby after the other sisters baby? And this is bringing to the fore the feelings of being the odd one out you have as a result of you a) not being asked to be bridesmaid b) having Boys and not girls c) probably feeling you are a bit different to them because you moved away and went to uni etc?
Try not to let it bother you and be proud that you have had (probably) more experience of the world than they have. And I agree that to ask one sister to be bridesmaid and not the other is a dickhead move.

[Toomuchtrouble4me]

You feel left out because you left home early and had boys and they are close to each other as you weren’t there and then they both had girls?
Nothing to do with name.
YABU but understandably as you feel left out. Boys are great. Count your blessings.

[wooo69]

My daughters partner has the same first name as his cousin (mums are sisters) I have always thought it a bit odd

[Wilkie1956mog]

Eh?

[M2B19]

Cut these people out of your life and make yourself happier. There comes to a point when you have to decide if they’re bringing happiness or sadness to your life and act accordingly. You’ll feel much better.

[FelicisNox]

YANBU.... it's not the names that are an issue it's the fact you feel left out.

The way I see it you have 2 options:

1. don't say anything, move on.
   
2. talk to them both, together or as individuals and tell them you feel left out and would like a closer relationship with them... at this point you've nothing to lose.
   
   All the best. Xx

[Petlover9]

@Via Sacra. - you wrote what I was just about to do, it makes no sense to me whatsoever. What is the main point OP?