To be upset about the name for my nice

[MadHouseUpNorth]

My sister had a baby girl last week and announced the name today. The middle name is the same as my other nice first name. AIBU for being upset over this? Girls have always been preferred in the family. I have boys that nobody really cared much about them and I feel a bit left out... Not that I would expect her to use on of the boys name for her baby girl’ middle name but seems like a really insensitive decision...I’ve also left the house for uni at 18 and never come back, while the two of them stayed and are quite close together. I’ve not been asked to be a bridesmaid at her wedding either and it’s all coming back to me today. Tell me do I behave like 5 year old?

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Even with the correct spelling of niece I have no idea what this post is about. Do you have sons OP and you feel as if your sister using her nieces name is a snub to your child?

[DickDewy]

So, your niece's name is the same as another niece's middle name?

What's wrong with that?

[thepeopleversuswork]

Life is just too short to worry about shit like this.

[1forAll74]

I can never understand why people get in such a silly mindset regarding the naming of children.Why is it such a problem ?

[BohoBunney]

I think OP has always felt like the black sheep, her sisters have been closer to each other than her, one of the sisters is getting married and the other is a bridesmaid, op has boy children and sisters have female so feels like this adds to the divide. Now the youngest niece has been given the name of another niece, op is interpreting this as a way of “honouring” it and so is feeling rejected and isolated.

OP, I think you need to address these feelings, be that with your sisters or therapy but it’s very much affecting you.

[moonkitty79]

I think it's quite common to use a family name as a middle name, I don't think I'd be too upset if my brother used one of my children's first names as a middle name though. My cousin named her dog the same name as my husband, that seems more offensive!

[MadHouseUpNorth]

I think I needed to be told that... have been low contact for years but perhaps hoped the new arrival will change things. Time to move on...

[SegregateMumBev]

So you have a niece called Sally (say). Your sister has just had a girl, and has called her Julia Sally. So she won't even be known as Sally? In fact very few people will even know what the middle name is?

I know full cousins with THE SAME first name, but no-one feels slighted or insulted.

This isn't about the names, is it.

[NotStayingIn]

No need to get too hung up over the details, surely the point is that the OP feels left out by her two sisters who are very close.

OP don't be jealous or hurt by their friendship, that's not going to help. Try and reconnect with them. Can you suggest meeting up, days out, whatever? I think a positive approach to getting closer will help you more than focussing on things they do and viewing them in this negative 'they don't like me as much' light.

[EineReiseDurchDieZeit]

So your older niece is called Rose Elizabeth and the new niece is called Hannah Rose? And neither are your daughters?

Really don't see the issue AT ALL

My friend gave her all her DDs matching middle names

Her DDs her choice

[andyjusthangingaround]

@MadHouseUpNorth - yes, it might be time to move on
This is certainly not an issue for quite a few people! Family tradition is to have the same name as middle name for every girls??? And you question it? and you think your boys are left behind?

Am I missing something here?
Every first born in my family is called the certain name. Every, single, one of them. Back to 7 generations. I thought that was sweet!

[GaaaaarlicBread]

This has got to be a joke ?

[sleepylittlebunnies]

I can see that it’s just another thing that is making your sisters closer and distancing you from their friendship. It can’t be a nice feeling being pushed out. You either need to accept it and build other friendships; they don’t have to be relations, or try and be more involved with both sisters. It might be nice to do things all together with your children, nurture the cousins’ relationship, they don’t have to be the same sex.

[CaptainCabinets]

What?

[Forgivenandsetfree]

Sounds to me that what you're really upset over is the fact that your two sister seem a lot closer to eachother (the name swapping) than they are to you.. YNBU to feel that way, but maybe talk to them? They might not realize you're feeling this way, they might feel bad for leaving you out and might even invit you to be a part of the wedding x

[TheMustressMhor]

This has to one of the most bonkers posts I have ever read.

[ScrambledEggsOnToast1]

Your post took a couple of reads to work out what you were trying to say. It's funny on mumsnet it's usually people kicking off about sisters etc using their child's name, effectively copying, you are annoyed you have boys and your sister hasn't named their child the same name. Utterly bizarre.

[Pardonwhat]

I can be very empathetic - or at least manage to put myself in someone’s mindset even if I think it’s batshit - usually; but seriously.. this is.. batshit.

[TheMustressMhor]

Sorry OP. I am utterly bewildered.

What is it that you are so upset about?

What does it matter that your nieces are called anything at all, since you don't have any daughters anyway?
I'm really not trying to be difficult here but I fail to see the dilemma.

You're clearly very upset - but about what?

[Runnerduck34]

So you've two sisters, one has just given birth and given her daughter a middle name that is the first name of your other sisters daughter?
Could it be they just liked the same name? It might not have been done to honour the other sisters daughter in the same way as if it had been the name of a parent/ grandparent.
I think you feel isolated and left out of your family, your sisters are closer to each other than they are to
you?
I think this is making you overthink the name thing and put more emphasis on it than there actually is.
I wouldn't worry about the name thing at all.
Perhaps invite your sisters out individually and spend time together to help build a closer relationship.
But remember their closeness is no reflection on you, it's just the way life has panned out, you are still a lovely sister so concentrate on other friendships and your own family too.

[Brigante9]

I don’t get your problem. Why are you even thinking about this? In my family, names have been repeated due to the sheer size and nature of the group (good Catholics!) so we have big Patrick, little Patrick, big Luke, little Luke etc. We all use the same first name for girls, then call them by their middle name eg Mary Elizabeth, Mary Anne etc.

[missyB1]

Its not that difficult to follow. OP is one of three sisters and feels like the odd one out, threes a crowd and all that.
I’m one of three girls OP, there’s always one of us a bit on the outside, which one it is seems to change every year or so!
Let the trivial stuff go and work on your self esteem.

[kateandme]

BohoBunney very kind sensible post.
there is so much background here that everything now is coloured by this.because you feel so left out op anything they do seems like its them togethr and you on the outside.i get that.it can hurt so much being the third wheel especailly so if that is in your siblings.
so you need to think whether you can fix it or mak it better.and if not why.re you doing enough o are you so hurt ove the years of feeling left out that you yourself are now pushign them away to fit this pattern youve found yourself in as being the outsdier?
do you try to do things with them.offer to help or see them.do you go home and have anice tea with them or make contact.
have they simply been closer becasue they live at home and have girls.or have they pushed you ot in anyway?
you need to assess this situation rationally and see if its real,your own feelings,or whether you can and want to do something abbout it.
if yes act on it.if no then move on.otherwie yo uwill be forever looking in yearning for something nyou cant or wont have.

[Mumbassa]

I don’t understand the upset

[SunshineCake]

@EineReiseDurchDieZeit did your friend have a baby this year ?