To be upset about the name for my nice

[MadHouseUpNorth]

My sister had a baby girl last week and announced the name today. The middle name is the same as my other nice first name. AIBU for being upset over this? Girls have always been preferred in the family. I have boys that nobody really cared much about them and I feel a bit left out... Not that I would expect her to use on of the boys name for her baby girl’ middle name but seems like a really insensitive decision...I’ve also left the house for uni at 18 and never come back, while the two of them stayed and are quite close together. I’ve not been asked to be a bridesmaid at her wedding either and it’s all coming back to me today. Tell me do I behave like 5 year old?

[NorthEndGal]

Can you help me understand the name thing? What did you want you sister to name her baby?

[xmb53]

YABU. It's up to the parents what their children are named.

[Rachel1874]

Yes YABU! Not your child, not your decision. They can name what they like.

[tierdytierd]

I get why you feel the way you do, like pp have said this isn’t about names more about you feeling and possibly rightly so pushed out, by the sounds of it you’ve felt this way for sometime and the name situation has brought it all back.
If you can talk to them about it you should! But if you don’t feel you can then maybe book into speak with someone who’ll listen and can help you order it and ‘put it away’ so it’s less upsetting. May feel like a bit of big step when you’re telling yourself it’s not a big deal, but if it’s upsetting you after all this time then it’d be a helpful process to go through. I have done this, for different family issues and it was the best thing I’ve done for me x

[TakeNoSHt]

Don’t worry about it. You sound like me, a sensitive over thinker ❤️

[TakeNoSHt]

I have issues with my family too, i’m always left behind compared to other siblings. I found counselling really helped me put myself and kids first and to get perspective that everyone else has the problem not me

[EugenesAxe]

I got your post and totally believe it was possible to be empathetic about it - like others I thought @BohoBunney hit the nail on the head and I agree with her post.

It's obviously been years of niggles and now this is the straw that broke the camel's back... I don't understand those calling you things like 'batshit'; to me it's clear that your post wasn't just about this one thing.

I would try talking to them. I feel awful admitting it but I honestly thought my very younger sister wouldn't want to be my bridesmaid as she'd never really gone in for dresses and pretty shit. I never categorically said I didn't want her but I remember her face when I was saying she probably didn't want to, and the fact that I had to massively backtrack when I saw indignation, sadness and everything else flooding across it! As soon as I knew she did want to, there was no question about not having her as bridesmaid and we all had a great day. Perhaps there's been some kind of similar misunderstanding amongst your sisters - they may not think you are bothered by these things?

I'd try them out and if they aren't immediately contrite then I guess you'll know whether they really are nasty.

[Bonuslevel]

@MadHouseUpNorth I get it, you feel left out because both of their daughters now share a name and this seems like they are excluding you somehow.
This has obviously brought up old feelings for you were you have felt excluded in the past.

[LemonPrism]

Not everything's about you stop taking the fact that you want a girl out on your family.

[AllergicToAMop]

The thing is , OP.
You left. They stayed. It's simple as that. If another left and you stayed you would be closer to the one who stayed, not the one who left.
That's just how it is. My relationship with some family members is essentially non existent as I left when they were very young. We would probably not recognise ourselves from the other side of the street.
That's just how it is.
Yes, it is shit they spent so little time with you when you went there, that's undeniable, but that's what happens when the relationship is just not there.

[Oceanwaves2018]

Honestly!!
Some of you on here are such ignorant, insensitive CF’s. OP’s post makes perfect sense - READ IT!!!!!!
This is obviously a big issue for OP and some tact and sensitivity isn’t too much to be asked for, she feels bad enough.
OP, YANBU & definitely not being like a 5 year old.
As someone who also left home at 18 to go to uni, it’s incredibly difficult for things to ever be the same unless you visit regularly and maintain contact. Nothing changes for those still at home, but, very much does for the one who moves away.
Logistically are you close enough to make regular visits home in order to spend quality time & rebuild the bond? It’s not all one sided though, they could make the effort to visit you. Even starting with regular phone/text/face time contact? I was fortunate to have a family and siblings who thought nothing of jumping in the car/ on the train frequently.
I feel for you OP

[Oceanwaves2018]

Sorry, missed how far you live from them.
Could you do a final “ having it out with them” & explain how things are & how you would like them to be? - then you will have your answer & may unfortunately have to let it go and move on - they will regret it one day.

[Roozy123]

You just sound jealous.

[THEDEACON]

YABU

[sst1234]

What a weird thing to be upset by. Please don’t waste your energy like this. First world problems.

[chocolatemademefat]

Why is this your business? Wind your neck in.

[NameChangeNugget]

Life doesn’t evolve around you.

Grow up

[onegiftedgal]

I'm not really sure of your question op but your family does sound strange keeping boys left out. They all sound a bit too much in each others pockets and perhaps have never broadened their horizons beyond where they grew up?
You went off to Uni and you are the one who has grown up. Just leave them to their childish ways.

[ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19]

Tbh op I'm one of 3 and have two older brothers the middle brother was awful as a child and he left for uni and never came back to the area. I'm much closer to my older brother. I had both as ushers at the push of my mam but my oldest is godfather to ds and I was bridesmaid in eldest brother wedding whilst other brother was a guest. My other brother only had eldest brother as BM and I was excluded. The point I'm making sometimes you're not close to a sibling and are closer to another. I dont believe you should have a sibling in a wedding party if youre not close either especially with distant its understandable they will have a closer bond. Personally my other brother is a stranger and his dc are strangers, I dont see them often enough because they live so far and I dont feel comfortable visiting I did it once never again. If my eldest brother had dc I would be closer to them like he is with my children it's all circumstances and personalities.

[Tara12]

I think it is other things you need to think about... Maybe try and resolve these feelings.

[Ineke]

Just confused but sorry that you feel left out of the discussions. Can you tell your sister how you feel about it maybe? Sibling relationships are tricky sometimes but worth the effort to reconcile with each other and really not worth falling out over a name is it? Tell her you are a little bit hurt, you can over come this I am sure.

[Youmakemewannashout]

You are behaving like a 5 year old