To think this is a bit weird?

[poppymatilda]

So my mum sometimes comes to visit. For context: She's a bit difficult/eccentric and I find her visits a bit challenging but I go along with them because it's better than going to her house and I want DD to know her granny - anyway that's a whole other story and not the subject of this post.

One thing she often does when she visits is change into her nighty at tea time. She'll then have dinner with us and sit downstairs all evening in just her nighty, no underwear or anything. She put her legs up on the sofa the other day and flashed DH! She's in her late 60s and wears t-shirt material nighties from M&S. Is it me or is this a bit odd?

My DH and I don't stand on ceremony at home - I'll usually change into a hoody and leggings when I get home for the day but somehow that seems a bit different to me than a nighty. When I suggested she wear clothes in the evening she got all defensive and said I should make her feel at home in my house not dictate how she dresses which made me think IABU...

Phone 101

great new word you've just taught me - flobbing !
Yes I agree with PP, no heating, leave dressing gown or even better some big fleecy pyjamas that hide everything, out for her.
You may have to be direct in telling her to use them.

Whattt that’s so weird! I always change into ‘lounge wear’ when I get home, i.e. leggings and a baggy tshirt, but cutting about in a nighty with no pants at someone else’s house is really odd 😬

Is she quite well??

I'm not joking

I told her and she just laughed and said we have to accept her and her ways

Agree with the 109% of people - YANBU.

In bed - fine.

Say in someone's house. I agree with op that's it's probably flashing in some shape or form.

And I'm another who only wears pj bottoms or leggings and T-shirt's/hoodies at home.

YANBU obviously but I just wanted to say my son calls boobs flobbing about 'freeboobing'

Poor DH. Nobody wants to be flashed wrinkled fanny at the dinner table.

Buy her some pyjamas!

We all change into our nightwear when we get back from work if not going out again - in fact most people I know do this - but wear pyjamas not nightie.

I told her and she just laughed and said we have to accept her and her ways
Can you imagine if a bloke said that? A dirty scuzzer with no pants on who flashed his DIL.
Tell her it's inappropriate and you don't have to accept it in your own home. Your poor husband, he must feel very uncomfortable.

@poppymatilda tell her she accepts you and your ways as she is in your house and to put some fucking pants on.

Just laughing like is doesn't matter makes me think it's deliberate, does she tramp over boundaries in other ways op?

God that's so trampy.

In your house she should respect your ways! I don’t want anyone’s vagina on my couch!

You don't have to accept it in your house though op! She wears undies or she doesn't stay! You're allowed to have boundaries

PJs are definitely better. No risk of flashing and just more semblance of being 'properly dressed' somehow.

I just think maybe I'm at risk of being a bit snobby about it. Flashing aside I just think she's being a bit slobby

A dressing gown and a throw and a double whisky for your poor dh.

Loving the word “flobbing” - You’re mum isn’t eccentric - she’s rude!

Ewww not on

What's acceptable, dress in your own home isn't acceptable on other people's, so she's very disrespectful. Do you think she genuinely goes about like that at home? I'd be freezing in just that & I keep my place very warm. To me it's very exhibitionist, screams 'look at me'. Your house your rules IMO. Insist she at least wears knickers.

The no bra is one thing. They’re not comfy and hopefully her tit doesn’t swing out in the wind. But Jesus wept she needs to grasp no one wants to see her fanny.

Be blunt, make sure she knows it’s weird, makes you all uncomfortable and it’s not her house to let her flaps blow in the wind freely.

Scuzzer

I feel this is very odd behaviour and I think the idea of a dressing gown is a good one. If she wont wear it, she cant come over ... you may have to be very honest about how you do not want to see her genitalia or breasts and neither do your children.

You shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable in your own home by your guests.

You don't have to accept it. Just don't allow her to visit until she gets something more appropriate to wear in the evening.

Really weird to have dinner in someone's else's house in your nighty though. I've stayed at my in laws before and wouldn't change into PJ's until after dinner. Do you all sit at the dinner table with her in her nighty?

Is this when she stays over at your place OP? If so, just get her a dressing gown and tell her she needs to wear it at your place and she just needs to get used to it. FFS. Your house, your rules and all that MN stuff.

My MIL (who I love) is always barefoot in my house and she has a habit of putting her foot on whatever object is close to her feet and sort of playing with it with her bare foot. So if it's a toy, she'll roll the toy around with her foot in an absent minded way...which is GROSS! I don't want to pick it up after her nasty trotter has been rubbed all over it! And it's the kids' toy!

Yeah that's not right. I wonder why she does it. She must know that it's not ok. I mean taking her under wear off too and thinking it's funny. It's quite disrespectful to you and your family really.

As well as really fucking weird.