Has 'me too' made flirting obsolete?

[Maskedsingeroctopus]

Does anyone else think this is a shame? Flirting was nice, for all genders, but seems to be banned and not allowed anymore.
Replaced by the delight that is online dating!

Yanbu: It's a shame. I miss a world without flirting where people have to meet by machine (and there is no light harmless joyous flirting, without intent too)
Yabu: I prefer it this way.

Women have spoken out about being harassed,assaulted,raped,traumatised,hurt.

"Poor men ,they can't even hold a door open anymore". "Poor men they just don't know what to say or do anymore". "Poor men they can't even make small talk".

Seriously? Fucking seriously?

I would find it odd if a female colleague complimented me on my appearance, especially a boss - unless it was someone I was friends with. A male colleague telling a woman they look lovely is going to be pretty inappropriate as an opening line. Flirting at work is obviously going to need more caution than in a bar!
Basically there are 2 types of men - those who make women uncomfortable through inappropriate behaviour and those who don't. It's to do with whether the behaviour is welcomed or not. Nice men don't tend to stay single forever so clearly it's not hindering their ability to attract a woman.
Online dating is more related to modern lifestyles/loss of community and perhaps unrealistic expectations. It's got nothing to do with men being afraid to speak to women. If anything there are probably a disproportionate number of weirdos online.

I cant work out why, in a professional setting, commenting on appearance is necessary. I guess if you get a radical new hair cut maybe but otherwise no. When working closely with female colleagues who have become friends then sure, there might be chat about liking an outfit or discussing if a new dress is fab. But that would only he appropriate either friends. I wouldnt comment in that way on my PAs new outfit but might well do so with a colleague of similar levels who I have worked with for years and who is a friend now.

To be honest, you sound really fucking dim. Surprised anyone would even want to flirt with such a dum-dum.

You can flirt without sexually harassing people. Well, I can't because I'm autistic and shit at flirting but I don't go round grabbing random people's arses.

What nonsense op

I hope its made flirting at work obsolete anyhow. Romance and work is just a bad idea.

#Me Too is about consent, it is neither a flirting ban or a sex ban. It is simply a case of checking things out first.

It's only end of January and I've already found the Dumbest Thread of the Year. Wow. That was quick.

Also, I welcome this (actually non-existent) 'ban' on flirting. Men are so overly confident as it is. I mean... what makes the average man think that a woman would welcome HIS advances?

This makes no sense...me too was not about flirting...what a numpty

I absolutely agree OP. Why just the other day a colleague said to me that none of the men were flirting with her anymore and I said "Me too"...

what makes the average man think that a woman would welcome HIS advances?

Do you not think that women flirt too? What makes the average woman think that a man would welcome HER advances?

Fairly sure it's safer for a man to reject a woman than for a woman to reject a man. That's why, in my perfect world, men would not approach a woman and would wait to be approached instead.

Men are so overly confident as it is.

Not really. Its just the minority of men who are "overly confident" will stick in your memory.

Fairly sure it's safer for a man to reject a woman than for a woman to reject a man

I think that very much depends on the situation and the context. I witness it every day at work - a young manager who works with predominantly middle aged women and it is not pleasant to watch, yet somehow the people doing it think it's acceptable when it absolutely would not be tolerated if it were a group.of men doing it to a young woman in the work place.

That's why, in my perfect world, men would not approach a woman and would wait to be approached instead.

That would actually be logical. But humans often aren't logical. I think most women would dislike this world.

OP has totally misunderstood the “me too” movement if she thinks it has anything to do with flirting. Or maybe she thinks sexual abuse is harmless flirting. Either way she needs to get in the sea.

Oh, FFS, really?

People flirt all the time

YABVU. Me Too has absolutely nothing to do with flirting.

Although if someone can’t flirt without being worried they’ll accidentally sexually harrass or assault someone then it’s probably the best thing for everyone if they stop ‘flirting’ altogether.

The maddening thing is that I heard recently that women get fewer mentoring opportunities or informal networking opportunities because men are scared to meet with women (especially younger women) for fear of being inappropriate.

It’s not that fucking hard!

The ‘Rock Test’ posted upthread is excellent, i.e. if you wouldn’t say it to The Rock, don’t say it to your colleague/employee/mentee etc.

Two show that I think have handled the Me Too movement really well are the Morning Show, and the latest season of Orange is the New Black. They both show how men are so used to certain inappropriate behaviours being the norm, as they’ve gone unchallenged for so long, that they often can’t fathom the idea that they might actually be in the wrong. Both shows also have good examples of healthy, appropriate workplace relationships and it is very very clear what the difference is.

If you flirt by sexually harassing people then you’re doing it wrong

This.

I cant work out why, in a professional setting, commenting on appearance is necessary

There is a world of difference between saying to a colleague “you look nice today” and “your arse looks good in those trousers”

In other news:
'baa baa black sheep' banned in nurseries
Christmas decorations not allowed in council offices
all nuts banned from all schools ever

men seek to disguise sexual harassment as harmless flirting
(no wait that actually DOES happen)

@StillWeRise can you please not use the C word, I find it offensive. Please say holiday decorations or festive decorations