Has 'me too' made flirting obsolete?

[Maskedsingeroctopus]

Does anyone else think this is a shame? Flirting was nice, for all genders, but seems to be banned and not allowed anymore.
Replaced by the delight that is online dating!

Yanbu: It's a shame. I miss a world without flirting where people have to meet by machine (and there is no light harmless joyous flirting, without intent too)
Yabu: I prefer it this way.

I'm short

I never ask tall men to reach for things in the supermarket, always wait for a tall woman.

Because men like to say "ooh, I'll reach anything you like love". I don't have a go at them, I'd just rather ask a woman in the supermarket!

Almost all posters here are in complete and utter denial about the damage the "movement" has done to personal and professional relationships.

Where I work (there are even posters up literally spelling it out)

"Any unwanted approaches by staff members towards other colleagues WILL be treated as harassment, serious disciplinary measures will be taken against any staff member behaving in such a way. (random name of generic financial services company) dose not tolerate any such behaviour. Where appropriate the Police will also be informed.

Basically if you even talk to someone and they report you, it will at the very least lead to suspension.

Way to go "me too".

lilmiss but the rules were officially that in many places - most places? - before MeToo. When I reported my first harassment, I said I was unsure and the boss said "if you think it's harassment, it is". That was more than 20 years ago!

if you just talk about work, it's all sorted and very easy. Of course add in pleasantries. If someone says "I went to Kew Gardens at the weekend," they clearly want to chat so I say "oh great, how was it?" and let them tell me. It's so easy!

I am simply noting that simple flirting has been outlawed. Men and women are hardly allowed to make any flirtatious contact in real life and coincidentally this started at the same time.

No it’s not outlawed. I think the issue here OP is no one wants to flirt with you

I'm wondering if the "no flirting" types go everywhere by car. Because I think in London, with all the waiting for Tubes and buses etc, there's definitely still flirting going on!

Totally agree.

There are some women who jump in the ‘me too’ bandwagon without any justifiable reason, making men nervous about saying or doing anything.

Obviously a large amount of ‘me too’ has resulted in positive change, but you’re naive if you think there hasn’t also been a small negative affect

and certainly normal chatting is still happening, or do the "No flirting" types think that's gone too?

I was in a bar with a friend yesterday, there was a guy sitting alone at the bar who couldn't help overhearing a couple of things we said, and he interjected with funny comments and we laughed and it was all good.

@lilmisstoldyouso That's just a tragedy imo.

Also for others, I repeat sexual assault is not flirting and flirting is not sexual assault. Can **you not see the difference? It's the flirting, that's gone, that's unfortunate, imo. Not the sexual assault. How many times do I have to say this.

Do people not see the capitalisation of it too. The multi million pound dating industry directly profits from flirtation in real life being outlawed.

'You' was meant to be bold not two stars!? Apologies.

Flirting at work is so gross and lame. Flirting in social situations is fun and hasn’t changed at all, so I assume you mean flirting at work.

Anyway metoo was about sexual harassment and assault, which are very very different from flirting unless you’re a complete psycho.

You keeping saying flirting has been outlawed...you do know that isn't the case don't you?

Most people of my generation met their husbands at work. Is that no longer allowed? And that's just one point.
Also there's no flirting in bars, pubs and clubs. People arrive in their friend groups and stay in them. This didn't used to be the case. Men were allowed to approach women. (God forbid, I hear you shriek. What if he grabs my crotch!??? As if!)

Please see above post in reference to your name calling.

HA who on earth were all of these British men flirting in the workplace before? Nice men on the whole seem to the be the worst flirts in the world and I like it that way. Flirting is ugh.

I've never been flirted with in the workplace and nor has anyone I know. We have however endured verbal and online harrassment, stalking, groping from bosses, attempted sexual assaults and subsequent HR emails asking us to make sure our skirts fall below the knee. THAT is what #metoo was about.

Also there's no flirting in bars, pubs and clubs. People arrive in their friend groups and stay in them. This didn't used to be the case. Men were allowed to approach women. (God forbid, I hear you shriek. What if he grabs my crotch!??? As if!)

Have you been to a bar or club lately? I assure you that plenty of men still approach me and my friends offering drinks, etc (usually then becoming aggressive if you decline) and perhaps not my crotch, but I got grabbed just last week.

Oh, those happy halcyon days when a fellow could masturbate into a plant pot without being misinterpreted!

OP - YABU. #MeToo was about stopping harassment, not stopping flirting.

Most people of my generation met their husbands at work. Is that no longer allowed? And that's just one point.

Any stats on this one? I don’t recognise this ‘men can’t talk to women’ thing, but then I also have lots of platonic friendships with men I work with which I know is a total anathema to some on MN.

Also there's no flirting in bars, pubs and clubs. People arrive in their friend groups and stay in them. This didn't used to be the case. Men were allowed to approach women. (God forbid, I hear you shriek. What if he grabs my crotch!??? As if

I’m a fairly average looking married woman in my 40s. I get approached/flirted with fairly regularly when in bars or pubs with female friends. Most of it is friendly, respectful and light hearted and doesn’t come close to crossing any lines.

If #metoo takes the folk who can’t flirt without sexual harassment out of the flirting and dating pool, will anyone truly weep?

Why are you dictating what the yabu is

Yabu because there is a difference between mutual flirting and unwanted harassment

Me too hasn't stopped flirting and if a man can't flirt with a woman in case it tips into sexual harassment he probably shouldn't be talking to women at all.

“Me Too” is about sexual harassment/assault at work.

Nothing to do with how people interact in bars.

Agree if men can’t tell the difference it’s better he doesn’t try.

@maskedsingeroctopus

I think you've had your answer! Sexual harassment is a totally different ball game to flirting.

Interesting point about the capitalisation of dating though. But I'd disagree with you over why it's happened. I think OLD is probably the last refuge of those who still can't separate sexual harassment and flirting if I think of some of the messages I used to get!

flirtation in real life being outlawed

Is this some kind of crap book you're writing?

Most people of my generation met their husbands at work. Is that no longer allowed? And that's just one point.

I met my husband at work 7 years ago. Lots people in my workplace are married to each other ( I work at a university) It does still happen.

Also there's no flirting in bars, pubs and clubs. People arrive in their friend groups and stay in them. This didn't used to be the case. Men were allowed to approach women. (God forbid, I hear you shriek. What if he grabs my crotch!??? As if!)

Have you been to bars and pubs recently? Of course it still happens.

LOLing at the idea that because "men don't know where the line is" they don't flirt.

I've been out just last month. There's been harmless chatting and joking, there's been flirting, there have been some pretty pathetic attempts to get my attention. What I was pleasantly surprised about was the lack of backlash and aggression when these attempts were rejected.